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How do you answer, "I want to know more about you"?

This message from men floors me. "What does he want to know?" I wonder. My personal history? The onus is on me to entertain him.

Yesterday I got that message from a man in Germany. "I suggest you focus on women in Germany," I replied.

Reminds me of my mother. "How are you really?" Mom repeatedly asked. Because I was born prematurely, Mom saw me as delicate, even as an adult.

"What do you want, my bowel movements?" I replied, amused, to sidestep the question.

LiterateHiker 9 Aug 18

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61 comments

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10

It's a fast, easy, and lazy way of pretending to start a conversation without actually making any effort to personalize the approach. And, yes, it does place all the burden on the respondent so a sarcastic or disinterested reply is completely justified.

I recommend sarcasm, it's the most fun.

Well stated!!!

@Sgt_Spanky

Exactly. Well said.

7

Take it litterally! Send him what defines you! Haha.

6

Although I understand how the vagueness or openness of the question can make for a weak icebreaker, I either ask directly "Sure, what would you like to know?" or I assume they want to know what's important to me and I'll tell a bit about what I value in life. I figure it's just someone trying to connect and express interest, and not everyone is a great conversationalist. Hell, I can be a little awkward sometimes, so I try not to hold it against others who don't have the best or smoothest approach.

5

I mean I guess that's better than what I often get, which is
"hey"
Wtf am I supposed to do with that?? At least put some effort into reading my profile and trying to connect with something I've written πŸ™„

Remi Level 7 Aug 18, 2019

I hate that and also β€œHey, Cutie!”

5

As a compulsive oversharer, I'm more likely to get a frantic waving of hands followed by "TELL ME LESS! TELL ME LESS!"

Ha ha, same

5

I always answer, "what would you like to know? Ask me anything. The worst thing I can do is tell you it's none if your business."

Granted, that may not be the most successful comeback considering I am still single.

5

I think that is a question people ask when they are not sure what to say. Nerves maybe? If they read your bio there are usually good opening topics in there. The man I am currently seeing now did such a great job with that. Really read my bio and asked great questions. Your mom is another story πŸ™‚)

In my opinion he wanted to begin a friendly conversation πŸ˜‰

4

not a real profile. I only respond to messages that reference something specific in my profile .
What you have is a general question hoping to get a response. Ask them something specific and see what you get back.
Lots and lots of fake profiles on those dating sights

4

Questions generally tell you more about someone than answers. If that's the best he can do, a clear signal to move on.

3

I dislike the "tell me about yourself" type question. It's way too broad. It's hard to narrow down an answer. I'd prefer more specific questions, like "what types of music do you like," or "where is your favorite place to travel," or "tell me a funny childhood story," etc. In lieu of that, I usually ask "what would you like to know?"

3

In my experience , that question is often from someone who has not written his own bio. , or it's very short and ambiguous . He does not want to share a conversation , he wants you to do all of it .

Hear, hear!

3

I can assure you it's not just men that ask this question, I get it regularly. If I like the woman who is asking I simply reply, 'what would you like to know'?

The sum of my profile here!

3

I have been asked this and I share whatever comes to mind and it either opens up a back and forth conversation. Or it doesnt. I like to hear what people want to share. I would assume your regularity wouldnt be the first thing someone was curious about.

3

with one word: "why?"

g

3

A reply something like "First, let me make sure. Are you a law enforcement officer of any kind?"

3

"I always find that question offputting... Why don't you tell me something interesting about yourself and we can have a conversation?" (not really actually I stutter and say wierd sht but I think that would be a great answer)

I think it is a well intentioned but uncreative question. Just talk about stuff and let the details come out, or at least ask more specific questions..

MsAl Level 7 Aug 18, 2019
3

My answer is, "what do you want to know?" And then I don't hear back. Oh well.

3

Try answering "Such as my bank and PIN number?"
The reaction will indicate whether the person is worth cultivating.

Haha, that would be a great way to diffuse the awkwardness and get them to ask something more specific.

2

When a woman from far away replies i simply wish her well. What the hell was she thinking I muse? When I get like from female far away and simply just wander what was going through their heads. I often think they just want ANY attention, not my type.

As far as bowel movements I only discussed that with my X-wife in the case of medical concerns. Not a very hot topic, GOOD MOVE!
See what I did there!

Both! All or nothing, goddammit! "Yea, tho we walking through the Shadow of the Valley of Death we will fear NO evil, for you and I are the BADDEST muthafuckers in the Valley... right, @DeniseNycee?

2

I'd answer with "what do you want to know"?

2

I can't put in all in a cup and let you drink in the information. You just have to hangout with me to know.

2

"What do you want to know"?

2

I don't understand what all the fuss is about, that's an open ended question with basically unlimited answers. What it lacks in specificity it makes up for in opportunity. If you meet the guy on the internet, he's probably just at a loss for words or he doesn't want to accidentally offend you.

@Happy_Killbot

I refuse to type an autobiography for a guy who didn't read my profile.

@LiterateHiker Biography? What? No, just pick any one thing and say that, like what did you eat for breakfast, or what was the last news story you heard, or the last fun thing you did. Or ignore the request entirely and pick a topic you might want to talk to him about. Or try and guess a topic he might want to talk to you about. The fact that he didn't do any of those things means he probably a shmuck, but that doesn't mean you have to be rude.

@Happy_Killbot

The guy was from Germany. "I suggest you focus on women in Germany," I replied.

I was not rude.

@LiterateHiker None of this makes any sense. The distance, which I have to assume he was aware of because you were aware of it, means that either he is a shmuck or he has purely Platonic intentions. I guess I'm just going to have to trust your judgement.

2

If a guy wants to know more, they should ask the specific questions and not vague crap!

@Mofo1953

Exactly. Well said.

I was born in 1953, too.

@LiterateHiker year of the snake in the Chinese astrology, but don't fret because the snake is wise in Chinese lore..

2

That's one of my least favorite questions of all time, and another indication that I prefer dating in a more organic manner.

Questions like that are too robotic for me, and quite honestly, I'm pretty open with my dislike of them.

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