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In love, how much does money matter?

When it comes to looking for that significant other...
how important is money?

In other words, how much they make and whether they have a stable source of income.

Extra credit:
Do you think men and women have different standards for this?

  • 23 votes
  • 37 votes
  • 24 votes
silvereyes 8 Nov 18
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47 comments

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7

When money problems rears its head, love goes out the window.

Seems you have never loved right!!!!

Or loved the wrong person in the right way?

One word and four letters with so many different meanings to different people. I would not say that to anyone because you never know what has gone on behind closed doors or what really goes on between a pair of ears. One can imagine or presume.

There are two sides to a story of successful continuing relationships or those that have come to their end.

6

I don't know if men and women have different standards on income. Ok... i got an answer and its complicated. I've seen kids hook up and the child becomes pregnant. The family has to step in and pay for things. The man child wants to be more then he can be at that age. Hes in school or not educated to have a decent paying job. Someone says marriage. They live with a parent. Its troublesome, because they share a bed. Hmmmmm! Love is complicated at a young age. Older couples (out of thier teens), can maybe reason things out. Have limitations and understand how to cope with less. I saw poverty all around me withen my family. I understood it takes money for security of a family and was a sergeant in the military before i asked my first wife to marry me. Just enough money to live life but not enough to vacation anywhere. It was kind of rough. I think people should cool thier jets before they take that leap. Why put pressure on your spouse and possibly children. Thats just my opinion.

6

I don't care if someone's wealthy or not, but I would prefer that she were financially stable; just so there's less chance of a disaster, or so she's less dependent on me.

5

you need money to live on, though the love may be free, the cost of living is not.

That is a nice thought Freeman.

5

It's not ALL about money, but if you think it doesn't/won't play a part, you are kidding yourself.

4

Somewhere between "mild" and "very" I think. Money matters are among the top causes for relationship problems. Total amount made isn't critical, so long as it meets a baseline on needs plus a cushion, but stability is crucial for me (in or out of a relationship). I think income and expenses need to be predictable, or problems are bound to arise.

4

I'm not concerned so much about her income level, but I wouldn't get involved with someone I know who is in over their head with debt. Especially if the debt is from irresponsible spending. I am more understanding to someone who got ripped off in some way, not of their own doing that caused the debt.

4

Not at all important was my answer. After reading others' responses, perhaps I answered incorrectly. It can be very important to a partner, yet not at all important to me. But in partnerships, the partner's stance needs to have an equal voice.

3

Money is a concept... it has absolutely no meaning, and yet we've made it EVERYTHING. We measure natural disasters in cost, even before life lost. Health care... if you want to live... you need to be able to afford it. Homes, food, heat, air conditioning... all come with a cost. Even art depends upon benefactors. Beethoven, Mozart, Bach... all relied on the patronage system. One of the greatest movies ever made (in my "humble" opinion): Monty Python's Life of Brian, wouldn't have happened if George Harrison didn't dump a lot of cash into the production. My brother-in-law, a Marine who was killed in the C-130 crash over Mississippi... insured by Cigna was denied his life insurance because he was active duty... in other words, Cigan was looking for a way NOT to pay out what they owed. Money is life and death. As Benjamin Franklin said, we have two sureties in life... death and taxes (money).

The number one reason sports hunters defend Trump's reversal of the Trophy Hunter's Ban is... you guessed it ... money. The reason Rhinoceros' and elephants are near extinction... money. The reason we refuse to address Climate Change... you guessed it... money.

I'm sorry, I know I'm beating this to death, but there's a reason... Money is at the heart of everything we do: art, medicine, survival. So while we like to think we're "above" it, we're not. Money means survival, and when there's not enough, we live in the shadow of extinction. That causes stress... stress causes all kinds of other problems. Love cannot overcome those deep and embedded problems. But WE can. However, it's not likely to happen soon.

3

Love is never enough there has to be more to keep a couple together.
As for money it one of the top reasons why people get divorce or break up so yes it important

Because money is never enough! Say it.

3

I'm not as concerned with an amount of money, as I am with how someone handles their money. I dated someone for awhile, who earned a great income, but always seemed to be struggling because he overspent what was coming in !

3

I think a persons income isn't a deal killer but a lack of a steady source of income would be

3

I voted mildly important, as long as there is some kind of contribution it's good.

Extra credit: In my own experiences, it's been more important to women than it is to men.

3

I voted that it is very important, but we need to understand a few things first. I can only approach this from my perspective. First, I can't imagine basing any intimate relationship on love. Love is fragile. Love is transient. Love is many emotions at play and little thought.

For me, a marital relationship, a 'let's live together for a long time' relationship, or any other human commitment type of situation needs to be based in friendship first and real friendship entails honesty (not brutal, but honest), trust, understanding, and mutual respect. With those things in place, conversation on any topic is possible, reaching agreements or just agreeing to disagree are within the realm of reality, and dealing with problems is not a monumental task. Love? Love will grow over time, and it will be the sort of love that endures without high levels of stress.

If a relationship is based purely in the emotions, anything that tends to upset the balance will in turn upset those basic emotions. It is tough to apply thought when emotions are in total control. Money, from what I have experienced over the many years of my life, is one of the touchiest of topics in relationships like that and has been the breaker in several cases. It's hard enough on strong friendships where talking about anything is normally easy.

3

Money matters in the way that it provides stability: bills are paid, buy your own food, education opportunities for children and have a roof over your head. It cannot buy happiness but, lack of money can cause serious stress and health problems.

3

From what I have heard (and seen) money is the no. 1 issue between people in a committed relationship. It is not about amount but responsibility. My parents fought often and it was always about money (neither parent had a clue but dad took on the role of breadwinner and mom was the rationing out of the bread - with 7 of us it was a losing deal). Love is not about creating problems and money can be a very big problem.

2

I feel like men want the wifey to care for them..and woman want a man that takes care of business..me personally...I want someone to who is my best friend and lover...someone who calls me out on my shit..and vice versa..someone who pushes me to do better..a shoulder to cry on...and an affectionate lover...money should be a means to an end with bills and shit that you need..in a relationship it should be 50/50 unless one person makes more or most of the money..they are paid back by the other taking care of shit..like laundry..cooking...and household...nobody should feel worthless because their poor..

2

It isn't how much money a person has, but how responsible they are in handling what money they have that is really important. You don't really need that much money to be happy if it is handled responsibly. If a person can actually differentiate between "want" and "need" then they are probably halfway there.

Yes shop thrifty

I tend to think of myself as "frugal", but I guess thrifty is also applicable. When I spend money I look for value. I don't buy crap that I will have to just replace over and over again.

I also look to reduce logn term costs. Like when my sister's kitchen light fixture "died". I replaced the florescent fixture with an LED fixture. I wotn' have to replace bulbs, and I got 25% more light for 35% less energy usage. The cost difference up front was negligible when considering longer term savings. (To replace a U-shaped florescent bulb it costs at least $20 per bulb).

2

Making love is free.

2

It matters to me so long as you are able to provide and handle your own expenses. If you are just looking for a sugar daddy or a man to come in and support you then that is a relationship i wouldn't even bother with.

2

To men, mildly to low, to women high.
I speak from experience of course.

2

As someone who is on various dating sites looking for a partner, what someone puts as their income range is something I take into consideration when deciding if I'm going to show interest or not. If the income range is less than mine, chances are I will pass them by.

GwenC Level 7 Nov 18, 2017
2

My boyfriend and I are almost always struggling with money. But we always love each other at all times. Whether I'm broke or whether he's broke. Yes, it can be more stressful but really if you not having money breaks up your relationship then you weren't meant to be.

Any kids in your set up?

I think a couple with similar income like in your case works better than if one of you didn't understand what it was like to be broke. The love and understanding is strengthened by the shared struggle. Do you think that might be true in your case?

No kids! and It's very possible, although he comes from a much wealthier background, now that we live together it's just us really. I think it does strengthen our bond through our struggle. that doesn't mean its easy though. Many times we have arguments over what we should spend money on verse what we want to spend on. or someone spends money on something that we don't agree with.

2

I put mildly important. I think it would be safest if both parties contribute for mutual respect of eachother's pockets. Having separate accounts, paying for themselves; I think that it could make paying for each other in gifts or outings all the more sweeter. Altho, being impoverished is understandable, therefore, it is okay if one usually is paid for out of sincere generosity.

2

I think responsibility is really the issue. If you can’t take care of yourself, then stay out of relationships.

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