A friend grew up in the late 60's in Sweden as his father was an embassy worker. Sweden was and still is very progressive. At that time films like Sleeping Beauty were R rated for violence and spanking was totally outlawed throughout the country, not just public places and schools, but also in people's homes.

@VictoriaNotes Ya, don't know the exact start of gaud inventions, maybe it goes back four thousand years. Sure as hell some weird rules!

@VictoriaNotes The 'invisible one' was a great invention by the godsters. How can a thinking person dismantle something they can't even see? The other gods, made of stones, wood, whatever, can be junked and thrown in the trash.

@VictoriaNotes I had that feeling once with a sigmoidoscopy... never again.

@Paul4747 Well now that I am 110 years old, I have suffered all the indignities, including that one- but I had to look your word up. It's a choice, that, or colon cancer.

@Diogenes Let me rephrase. Never again, while conscious. Full colonoscopy and knocked out is the way to go,

“Viewer advisory warning”...

Not much of a story, just an explanation. To my knowledge, to bless something means to take what used to be considered bad, and recognize it as now being considered good. Masturbation used to be considered a sin, but it has wellness benefits, so it must be good. Therefore, I blessed it.

@Katastrophe1969 @FurNFeatherMama are you sure? Masturbation blessings stories are better told behind closed doors

Oh, y'all wanna know about the ceremony. There wasn't one. Should we have one?

@VictoriaNotes Yeah, I've always thought that was creepy. Like, Christians don't believe in threesomes unless it's with Jesus.

I also have had friends who prayed for god to be with them when they were having sex so that they would keep it pure and not have impure thoughts during it.

@irascible He's not sexist, he sends us all to hell

God damn it I'm so horny all the time. Sorry God, didn't mean to blaspheme over how you made me.

@JustChris I think God needs to check out the variety of porn available online. Every weirdo has a choice nowadays.

Yes, Mike, but it's a two-way street. Ever see a female macaque in heat. She parades herself with raised rump in front of the nearing group of males and they act like college kids at a football game when their team scores a touchdown. Human ladies are menstrual, but the rest of the mammal world is estival. That's even worse.

I actually went to school with a woman who couldn't enjoy sex because of that image...god looking down on her in such an awful position.

@LucyLoohoo I hope it was her dream to enter a convent.

I certainly wouldn't want to see ME in that position. I'm well aware of what I look like from behind.

@Paul4747 Okay, her on top. LOL

@Diogenes I'm good with that.

@actofdog I used to have a dog who liked to watch. Genuinely CREEPY to look over and see Lulu, looking back!

Saw an interview with a porn actor who talked about that very thing. He said men were always telling him that THEY could be porn stars and he'd respond with ''Really? OK..right now...get hard and stay hard until I tell you to let it go soft. NOW!"

@LucyLoohoo Hi again. I am still alive; and I like looking at an adult female body. I have not the least intention of being pure---- and hypocritical. The idea of war and all that goes with it is REPUGNANT; it sure as hell is all over TV. But Gaaauuud is going to send one to hell for watching sex. Still say why can't it be interesting? Red card for bad acting! Ya, soft/hard, who cares? Boring!

@Diogenes My opinion is....porn's made for men. They like seeing big, hard erections, big breasts on women and acts most women don't fancy. If porn were made for women/BY women, it could be subtle, interesting and even (GASP) have a plot!

@LucyLoohoo Like I have said, "real bad acting". All that gasping and panting- sounds like an advertisement for asthma medication.

@LucyLoohoo It's purposeful. If we wanted a plot then we'd watch the 50 shades series.

What's white and flies across the sky?

The Cumming Of The Lord.

(I thought this was hilarious when I was 13.)

@pepperjones I never thought of that

god committing suicide - i like the theory ... & then he/she/it gets punished for this mortal (!) sin in eternal purgatory or what?

@walklightly Just had a stray thought - just before I read this post, it occurred to me the crucifixion was fundamentally a suicide. So my twisted mind synthesized God watching porn with an alternative motive - other than he died for our sins. Basically, he couldn't stand us anymore and wanted to get the fuck out? Seems more plausible .

@VictoriaNotes I love that you can admit that. You're freaken awesome. Where do I find someone like you around here? lol

@paul1967 It is just that sex itself is rather absurd really. I'm not saying I don't enjoy sex or like my body or that those who I've had sex with think I'm inept. It's just that we are so obsessed with this bizarre mating ritual that's way better in between one's ears than it really objectively is ... in fact we're the only species that considers it recreational more than procreational and have so much ego invested in being skilled at something that actually requires zero talent. People congratulate a woman on getting pregnant and my inner thought is, "congratulations, you've figured out how to have sex -- so what?"

And then we create for ourselves this all-powerful, all-knowing being and actually imagine that it would care how or when or with whom we engage in sex. That it would be incensed if we do it wrong or maybe pruriently interested that we do it at all. That god wouldn't have much bigger fish to fry. That if he DID look, he wouldn't find it pathetic and amusing.

I'm simply willing to admit god would find me having sex hilarious. I was being polite in not suggesting that he'd be equally amused at ANYONE engaging in it.

@mordant I appreciate your reply, and I agree with most of what you said, and please don't take this as an insult because I'm an off the wall kind of guy myself, but that reply was a bit random. I was replying to @VictoriaNotes willingness to open up to something most women find embarrassing. I rarely see that in people, and it gave me a measure of enjoyment. However, despite that, I found your thoughts about humanities vision of Gods proclivities towards sexuality, fascinating, and I appreciate your willingness to use self-deprecating humor to make your point.

@VictoriaNotes I Think that the Islam God is the Co-Founder of Brazzers

@VictoriaNotes not caring or imaginary? LOL

'ALL' gods, male or female, are "imaginary"- and have been invented by humans, for very many thousands of years. And there is no reason that they should no have been relegated to the 'bad humour bin' long ago.

@Diogenes Tru. And they can be SO fun to read about!

Hadn't considered that...wonder how many female porn directors are working?

@LucyLoohoo Probably more than you would expect have moved around to behind the camera after working in front of it.

@Astrojcm Interesting. Penny Marshall did the same thing. I've always thought it would be interesting to see porn made by women FOR women!

Women make the best porn ever.

@Bierbasstard That is too funny. Why didn't I ever think of that

Yes, Rev. Jim Bakker enjoyed Jessica Hawn, after slipping a mickey into her drink to "persuade" her to give him pleasure. He also had other woman. Do as I say, not as I do, if you do as I do, I'll punish you!

That's a good one!

Baptists don't recognize each other in liquor stores or adult book stores.

I read that..

 Goforthandprocreate

as

 Go for the hand and pro, create!

... Just what I first saw. Duh

@njoy_life_2
No problem, was only said jokingly ? Lol

@VAL3941
Yeah, I got that Val. I just was amazed I read it so wrong. And the wrong version sounded sorta perverted, silly me.

@njoy_life_2
We all make mistakes my sweetie ! Lol

In case you ever become curious.
Pornhub.com

@Anonbene thank s but I have done without ,so far and not really very curious. I like laughing.

You can have a laugh at the acting skills.... and this is an open minded place...download one tonight and see if you like it.

@actofdog I keep hoping for the day when we can move past our own barbarism

He didn’t make the Muslime pussy right either!!

Well yes thats true if it was written by a God??

Those religious nitwits are so twitchy because of the severe suppression of sexuality ... and their twitchyness comes out - just look at the christian family values dudes like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, Larry Craig and all the other christian men who get caught with their pants down.

Umm, he popped down and banged Mary to get Himself/Jesus born, remember?

According to several sources, online porn is in BIG demand in the Bible Belt South and the state of Utah, filled with Mormons. My, my.

Word!

Because western religions have always tried to restrict sex...too much fun! Should be reserved for makin' dem' baybeees.

You hit the nail on the head- HARD. YES!

@Diogenes
GAWD doesn't care! SERIOUS, AUTHORITATIVE RULES (Glendroa climiic are decdicated to stoppin these FOOLS

OF COURSE he has a penis...he made Adam in his image, right?

Right--and I understand more porn is visited in Muslim nations than anywhere else.

@LucyLoohoo it wouldn't surprise me in the nations that don't monitor their internet fully. I was in a bar in Honolulu once and a wealthy "shiek" (I could not verify that for sure) bought 4 rounds for the bar over the course of about 2 hours.

@Beowulfsfriend I've traveled in 8 Muslim nations and have been amazed at the hypocrisy re: women and their ''rights,''...food restrictions...treatment of foreign workers, etc. They're no different than Xtians here. "Do as I say...not as I do!"

It gives a new meaning to on the right hand of god. Or maybe he uses his left hand.

Why would he not care about one of his/her many wonderful creations? Porn being one.