Mmmm very interesting What defines a man or woman other than a social construct of gender and prescribed roles initiated by who? I like the idea of self-identifying your own gender or not. I think maybe undoing gender is a good idea. I'm not comfrotable with societal definitions about who or what makes a person a man or women. I identify as a woman and have likes and dislikes.

People should pursue each other. And they tend to know who the right one is. The same goes for gay relationships. One person tends to be more dominant.

I don't mind aggressive women in the least, but I am terrible with rules.

Most of the women I've dated made the first move. After my divorce, I didn't really pursue relationships as much as I just kind of ended up in them. When I initiated anything, it was disastrous, but when I left that up to her it usually went well.

That sounds like a good plan. Not been going so well lately. I’ve mostly just been wondering if my time is done with regards to growing a relationship. It’s hard to pull myself up from discouragements floor.

No, I would hate that.

We should all just be how we're comfortable being.

I don't believe it has really changed that much. It could be generational. Occasionally a woman will make the first move for lack of a better word. I never have had a problem with that. Just be who you are. I don't like men or women who try to act tough to show you how strong they are. BORING!

I think people should just be themselves and not worry about old fashion dating rules. If a woman wants to take the first step, go for it, if you prefer to wait the the guy then fine. I have no problem with a woman taking the first step. Some men are shy but may still make a great partner if you make the effort to get to know them. What is in a man or woman's heart is more important than who takes the lead in the relationship.

I met my wife ex wife in a club, back in the eighties, she approached me. I say if you see someone that you are attracted too, seize the opportunity, because it may not come around again.

As many others have already stated, let's let people be themselves. Let's drop outdated expectations of how particular genders should or shouldn't behave. Let's let people find love in their own ways--ways that make them feel comfortable.

People should just be people. Too many people put a focus on gender for too many things. Just do you.

There are too many qualifiers needed due to the vast differences not only between different genders but within each particular one as well.

Guys feel insecure and women feel they have to be strong because a lot of the courting rituals are still heavily entrenched, not because they are changing. I'm all for everyone feeling free to be the pursuer, for discussions about when/if to marry (rather than big surprise proposals), and for not pretending women are prizes to be won.

I have to agree with most of the responses below. Different folks of both genders will approach things the way they feel most comfortable. Tho there is still a lot of the "old fashioned" attitude out there, & some of that is fine & fun, someone who doesn't fit that mold should not be worried about going their own way!

I personally don’t care for games, pageantry, or little chases. I think relationships should develop organically through mutual demonstrations of love and caring.

What one is looking for in a mate depends upon the individual tastes of those involved. Neither woman nor man should misrepresent their respective degree of femininity and masculinity. These are false constructs which relationships cannot survive because they require a great deal of energy to conceal. Ultimately, nature will assert itself and the truth will be exposed for what it is.

It’s best just to be oneself. Those who seek long enough will eventually find.

I'm not gonna lie, it would be really, really, really nice if I didn't have to do the chasing for once. At the very least it would feel good to know that I'm wanted. But I agree with the concensus here that games are getting old.

I've always been a bit different. Men can persue women in the traditional way if they like. It depends on the woman and is really up to her anyway if she likes that. Personally I can be persued and you can even make more money than I do. I'm big and strong but not macho. Either way is OK with me if I like you.

At 57 years of age now, I grew up in a society where the man approaches a woman. I developed thick skin when it comes to rejection. When I was in sales it was useful to imagine yourself saying “thank you” after each rejection because you are on your way to a “yes” because the conventional wisdom suggested that you have success 1 out of every 10 attempts. It’s not as hard as I thought because after starting a conversation, eye contact, voice and body language belies a person’s attraction so you know whether to pursue a closer relationship. On the other hand, I would welcome initiation of interest by a woman. Her radar of intuition will inform her of where she stands probably quicker than a guy would notice. However, with a site like this, eye contact, body language and voice don’t apply. So we’ve got that going for us eh? ?

I’m not as concerned about who makes the first move as who makes the second, third, and fourth. I’d like to hear other people’s experience on this but it feels to me that no matter who starts the ball rolling the guy is expected to take it from there. Seems to me things should balance out into some reasonable reciprocity fairly early on (for my taste; not suggesting for everybody). That would be most comfortable for me. An equal.
Traditional roles are Mac & Cheese, but equality is a balanced diet.

As an older man, I find it hazardous to treat women like women. I now treat them as objects, at least until I know them well enough where I can treat them like people without them taking offense to a compliment. All the Sexual Harassment training has drilled it into us men that women can be offended by anything.

The instinct to pursue females is a male trait but many men, especially high IQ creative types, are androgyne, so have a weak predatory instinct. Mine is usually stronger than theirs since I'm highly male-ish.

I have to make myself let men court me, but when I'm in male mode, I don't waste time..just head straight for my goal if it's a woman.
But because I'm demisexual, I don't have any lust, so it's pointless in a way.

My hope is that if I'm with a woman love interest long enough the demisexual attraction will kick in for them, the same as it does for men.

We really have botched it all up haven't we?
Last thing I want if I invite a co-worker for coffee is for her to jump up yelling sexual harrassment. Should men act like men and women like women? Yep, I guess, but, how is that? Different cultures, countries times. Ask 100 people and get 110 opinions. Imagine, the one in a million person is finally in your circle and neither is up to making the first move. FAIL!
My advice for what it is worth, which is less than nothing on this topic. If you see someone you are interested in and they havent made any move then what do you lose by making it? In a workplace guys are probably at more risk of problems from this approach.
Again if one is interested, male or female, they should say so.
Makes me fear for our society when such an attractive lady is faced with this dilema.

I'm all for being courted, but I also don't see anything wrong with a woman making the first move. The only time this becomes an issue for me, is when it becomes something I "have 2 do". Example, if a guy asks me out, takes me 2 maybe dinner and a movie, I will bring my own money, cuz u never know, but if you're the one who asked me out, I expect u 2 pay, it has nothing 2 do with him being the man or whatever tho, if I ask him out, I expect 2 b the one paying. If that's a problem then yes it can bother me. But as far as just trying 2 b polite, if someone opens a door 4 me I say thank u, but I open doors 4 both guys and girls 2 so I don't really look at that kind of thing like its something only guys do

Just be yourself really. if you want something and its within your grasp ask away.

People ought to act however they want, irrespective of gender stereotypes. Also I think more people should try not to be assholes as often.