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17 7

An unassumed atheist

I was already very devoted to being supreme imaginary, I even prayed to him at church, but something bothered me, I didn't feel well there in a while, because many things didn't fit.
So I started researching what was wrong with me, I felt strange among the others, I cried a lot at night because I thought (God doesn't exist).
As I learned more about religion and deepened, I became more sure that the mistake was not with me, the things that tormented me were not tormenting me anymore, everything was just a delusion, today I am a convinced atheist.
But I didn't say anything to my family members, they are already suspicious, but I'm still afraid to tell them.
I wanted you to help me.
Should I tell them?
How was the first time that you assumed to be an atheist for your family?

Iranildo 5 June 8
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17 comments

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0

Sorry to disappoint you but I am also one of the ones who never accepted religion, or thought of it in any way and I used to go to church with anyone because our streets were empty I would just tag along .I lived in England .Lee Green.An older girl in our street used to take us to the Church of the good Shepherd and i liked the singing and the pretty gold stuff on the altar,but nothing went in. I never told my parents that I went to because they came through the war and were not that bothered about where I went.They were both quite lax as parents go.

0

Consider your options: would your family become hateful, violent, or abusive if you told them? Would they separate from you? Would they try to hurt you emotionally, physically, or financially?

Would that matter to you?

I cannot in all truth describe 'my family,. 'Nutty as a fruitcake would probably do it My mother was full on manic my father disappeared into extremely cold rooms which he didnt heat (the house was big)and read poetry , whilst all below him was mad as a box of frogs.My brother was eight years older than me and it was him who taught me to ride a bike.Our parents were loveless and had very little time for us but because Peter understood what it was like for me now shouldering all that 'nothingness' no hugs no kisses, we had to kiss air and purse our lips as if it was a kiss that hd landed.

1

Answer to questions

1: YES!

  1. You either decide to be whatever you decide to be or you don't, one never "assumes" to be. Nonetheless, I had lived on my own since I was a young adult, since I was not at any of my family's homes I didn't have to share anything about my private life, whenever anyone outside of my family asked for my religious preference I would just tell them "Now I guess you should know that it is none of your fucking business, isn't it? But when someone of my family asked me I would tell them the truth.
1

None of anybody's business!

Absolutely - If I have to, I will lie just to get them off my back

1

I think that living in fear is not a good way to be. You did not deserve to cry at night and you took steps to resolve that. Now you don’t deserve to live in fear either and you also have to take steps to resolve this. I don’t know your family, but I am pretty sure that they love you for the many more things that you are, other than just your beliefs. Those of them who love you, will love you anyway, and will grow to respect you, and those of them who don’t love you as much, will have to get used to having a relative that proudly stood for his own convictions.

1

I don't think I ever 'assumed' myself to be an Atheist to myself or anyone else for that matter, I simply decided for myself that I was and that was that.
Having a father who was quite an Atheist himself was a great thing, but having a 'mother' ( and I use that term quite loosely btw) who was a Christian of convenience was quite a different story altogether.
Her 'idea' was that actually forcing me to attend EVERY Sunday School she could possibly think of MIGHT change me, but instead it only made me stronger each and every time.
Not too bad a result, imo, for a 8-9 year old child.

2

You don't need to tell them anything. It may start problems for you if you do. Just do your own thing.

2

Yup, for you and them, tell them. If they are suspicious, end that suspiciousness for that is very damaging of your relationship. Hiding and lies only damage more. What are you afraid of, rejection? If they would reject a child that chooses reality over beliefs, I would remove myself from those control attempts. I hope it works out for you. good luck Let us know how things went...

1

Can you live without your family in your life? Will they disown you if you tell them your an atheist? You don't have to tell them. You could tell them you lost your faith.

1

You do not have to tell them. I finally told my family and the response was that they "still believed but in their own way." Isn't that the main problem with this? Everyone believes but in their own way. WTF? At my workplace it sometimes comes up about "god belief" and my standard answer is this. "I studied to be a Pentecostal preacher but that is not me today." I'm afraid they are all going to have to accept that answer. I work for a very religious corporation.

1

No need to make a big deal of it. Just let your behavior speak for itself.

1

It depends on your circumstances. Are you in a country where it's safe to be atheist? How religious is your family? I told people as it came up. It was not a bonding experience.

1

I'm not sure you need/should take any advise. You will know when the time is right. Have your thoughts and replys ready. You know what questions they will ask. Good luck.

3

You are under no obligation to share with your family, your thoughts are your own and no one needs to be involved with them. While if you need to share things, speak out or ask for help, that is what friends are for, or this site if you can not go anywhere else.

2

Where do you live? I looked at your bio but the location is obscured. Is it somewhere that is safe to reveal disbelief? I ask because of your name.

Ultimately, what you do or don't tell people is up to you. You are the one who has to live with your decision to reveal your disbelief. Only you know the people involved and how they may react. It can be something that is difficult if you believe revealing yourself to them with disappoint them or change your relationship with them. I suggest you take your time and try to sort through your feelings. If you think you might get a negative reaction, perhaps you could drop hints of whats on your mind to see what kind of reaction you get. The relationship you have with loved ones doesn't need to be about belief or disbelief. You have plenty of other things you can relate with them about.

My father told the story of telling his mother he no longer believed. Her response surprised him when she essentially said she didn't believe in it either, but it was best not to talk to anyone about it.

2

I can’t really help with direct experience since I don’t come from a religious family. I can however point you to this website.
Www.recoveringfromreligion.org/secular-living
There’s some articles about it and some other people’s coming out stories.
I hope it all goes well for you.

7

You are the only one who can decide when, or even if, you'll be confident
enough to tell your family.
Everyone's journey is different.

I basically announced it to the family group I was with.
The topic was being discussed, and I was asked a direct question regarding
what I believed about something.
I told them straight up that I'm an unapologetic atheist.
My late great-uncle, who was 98 at the time, said he was, too.
Everyone was FAR more surprised by his admission than mine, to say the least.

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