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LINK Pastor: Go to Church, As It’s “a Foretaste of Heaven” and We’ll Convert Atheists | Terry Firma | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

To me church services are a kind of hell. I almost walked out of my own mother's funeral.

snytiger6 9 June 10
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17 comments

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0

If you would've walked into my old church as an atheist, you would have walked right with even more conviction to atheism. All of the "talking in tongues" that the Pentecostals love.

2

If church is a foretaste of heaven, we aren't missing much without heaven.

BD66 Level 8 June 11, 2020
2

If going to church during a pandemic will get more of them to their heaven then who am I too protest?

3

If I was forced to attend a church service, I'd either leave angrily or cry. The last time I was in a real church I cried over the cruelty it was all part of.

5

The pastor thinks they will convert atheists and it was all that bible study that turned me atheist. I'm sure I would have to walk out of a church service because it is all nonsense.

2

Hey, this Sky Daddy of theirs must be better than any Superhero, he can see through walls, roofs, anything at all.
It's a wonder that Marvel Comics haven't replaced all their other Superheroes with the Christian God isn't it?

Too far fetched for Marvel Comics

@Paul_Clamberer Yep, but still not too far fetched for Hollywood (perhaps better to be called Holy-wood imo sometimes though) they seem to turn out bible based movies even these days.

3

What ever the f*** he has been drinking/smoking I want none of it.
Hey, I can speak fairly well in at least 4 different languages, not including the English I was taught from childhood btw, and I reckon that I could easily create at least 3 more nonsensical languages as well if I tried, so does that make me a 'Believer?'

2

Yeah good luck with that for him. I want a solid gold toilet but its about as likely as converting us lol

redhog Level 7 June 10, 2020
3

Ah!!!

Just let them have their rapture, after all it is all on them!!!

5

It is a sad comment on the human species that there are mature adults who blindly accept that sort of hogwash.

Gutten Tag mein freund, wie gehts?

@Triphid Sorry, my German is terrible. To answer your question: irascibly. And yourself?

@anglophone Ich bin gut, danke.

4

I seem to recall church was an hour or so of dozing gently on an uncomfortable bench, with my ex nudging me when it was time to stand up and sing. I don't know as I would want to go to heaven if that were what it was like.

Usually had a chicken dinner afterwards, though. I would be down for visiting the Heaven of Chicken Dinners now and then.

3

Yeah, right! Gibberish is gibberish, is gibberish!

Dask, gerfubble sut gerfubble umt mia sudtenble patarc dou nesrec.

LOL, buggered if I know what I wrote but at least I can now say I can speak in 'tongues,' LOL.

@Triphid But, have you been saved, brother?

@BirdMan1 LOL, bloody hard to 'save' when you're living on Government Pension.
Hey, IF being spattered with Priest piss, aka Holy Water, means I've been saved then I've been saved a dozen or more times over.

@Triphid Halefuckingleuyah!

@BirdMan1 Nope, never have i 'fucked' anyone called 'Hale' or 'leuyah' as far as I can remember....LOL.

@Triphid But, those times when you were too drunk to see straight, no less remember?

@BirdMan1 There was actually 1 time when I was ever as drunk/drunker than a Lord ( as the saying goes) and that was at our Year Breakup Party.
I walked home at around 2.30 in the morning, well tried to walk that is, with a bottle of Scotch under one arm, a bottle of Vodka in my pocket and drinking, trying to drink, a 26 fluid ounce bottle of Beer at the same time.
I woke up in the morning to find myself sharing the kennel with the family dog who looked quite unimpressed btw, and to be told, harshly, that I had 'orally' re-painted my mother's favourite plants.
But we had no female or male students with those names at the party though, I do remember, though, having to scrub very hard to remove a band of very bright pink lipstick, the fave colour of my then girlfriend, Sandra, from a certain part of male genitalia but can't remember how it got there though.

1

During the free era, as part of my work duties I escorted a service user to church on Sundays. Now, several things, it confirms my atheism, the coffee in heaven must be good, but my Tassimo is better, the food there seems to mostly cheap ASDA/Walmart donuts, sexy dressed ladies playing on their phones and horror of horrors, bloody country music!
Hmm, maybe heaven and hell is the same place, but but being a believer it's good!

Struth m8, I walk past any church and you can hear it rumble and see it shake....LOL.

@Triphid I rather go to that one, at least they have fun believing the lies, unlike the other typically Scottish Presbytarian depressive we're going to hell for we were all born of sin, the filthy sinners that ye are!

@Sofabeast Oh yeah, we are all sinners, just as some rampant Lunatic with a cardboard sign yelled out to me yesterday morning while I was walking back from the Service Station after getting fresh fuel for my chainsaw.
At the top of his voice he was shouting to everyone either walking or driving past him " Repent ye Sinners."
There were about 4 or 5 people walking along shaking their heads and another bloke was just filling up his car when the Lonney-tune yelled, I kind of pretended that I was hard of hearing and and shouted back to him " What's that mate, you want me to come to Dinner, no probs, what time?"
I think everyone in ear-shot started laughing as loud as they could when they heard what I said.

4

If you have to attend a service, and get asked where you've been. Tell them you have a demon plug now, which helps you stay free of evil! Describe to them, in great detail . . . and they'll leave you alone from now on! 🙂

Having Jesus on your plug increases the power!

3

If church is a fore-taste (whatever the hell that word is), heaven is the most boring reward ever. Ask the old pastor man what good is an afterlife as a slave?

Yep.

7

I've had to stop attending funerals.
I can't take the bullshit.

I will never be "converted".

Yep, they've got 2 chances of converting this little black duck, i.e. S.F.A. ( Sweet Fuck All ) and B.A. ( Bugger All).
Spend eternity on my knees singing the Praises of a Bloody Mass Murdering, Egomaniacal, Misogynistic, Dictatorial, Psychopathic Arse-hole, no way.

4

Problem is religion is about selling a product - their unrealistic and unproven message about immortality. In the end many clergy people do this as a source of income. I would be curious to see this particular pastors income. Ministers should be obligated as a condition of their 501 (c ) (3) rating to have to provide the leaders income. Every non-profit group I have belonged has to make a filing of their financial statement.

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