We are being watched

Since l spend a lot of time on stage, l KNOW I'm being watched.

I attribute it to my paranoia.

OMG! I'm NOT watching you... but you're almost out of milk, and I think it's time to replace your microwave.

All the time. I have a cat.

No

No. (tighens tinfoil hat)

I do at times when I'm walking at the street at night.

Seldom, if ever.

Well, I suppose if you visit the local grocery store or a shopping mall you are being "watched" on CCTV which is also on many main streets. Apart from those examples I could not think of any reason why anyone would want to watch me. To believe otherwise I would have to manufacture a story or drama in which I am the central character and hope that other people would think that I must very important for those in power to watch me. In my imagination, I could tell myself that I am very important but deep down I would know that the reality is far from that and my cheap attempt to gain esteem in the eyes of others is doomed to failure.

After several years skateboarding the streets of my town, I started to notice how much people were watching me--and, more importantly, all the reactions that accompanied their observation: shock, alarm, disgust, contempt, fear, amusement, mirth, lust, admiration... Never have I seen a single factor instigate such range of reactions.

I was harassed. Followed. Photographed. I spent enough time boarding the same public spaces so consistently that even without my board I was recognized--and people would whisper, gossip, and stare. Strangers at the grocery store would goggle at me as if I were an unidentified snake--dirty, disgusting, and possibly dangerous.

This led to some serious social anxiety, which kept me mostly in my house for about a year. I'm getting more comfortable, but I can't un-know what I know about people--and how wildly judgmental and hateful they are when you get just one half-step out of line with societal expectations.

Back when in believed in god, the bible and all that stuff, i believed my god-sent angel was watching over me. Those were some crazy moments. Thank goodness am done with that bullshit.

I used to feel like that a lot as a child. I think part of that grew out of the idea of god and Satan Claus always watchign and knowing, but I eventually grew out of it.

Now, I know I am mostly unoticed by others.

I've goen on many naked biek rides, and nobody yet has ever moticed me individually, and have never been recognized as a naked bike rider later by anyone.

The truth is it takes a great deal to be noticed, watched or remembered.

I have two chihuhuas. Of course I am being watched.

No who would be watching me and why?

No. That is called Schizophrenia.