As planned pregnancies go, I think people have children for two reasons: for what they can do for those children and for what those children can do for them. The second is not a valid reason but it happens a lot anyway.

People have no business having children if they are not going to make their best effort to:

1. Provide the best home they can for those children;
2. Build strong relationships with those children; and
3. Teach those children how to be independent.

I'm sorry at least one of these things did not happen for you and the responsibility for that lays squarely with your parents.

@LovinLarge I was born in 1953. I don't think there was much planning involved either way. And thank you.

@BitFlipper I know there's probably nothing we can do about these situations now, but just in case you had any lingering doubts I wanted to make sure you had heard an objective viewpoint about where the responsibility lay. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of yourself.

@LovinLarge I am the second reason for why my parents had me, not my father but definitely my mother.

@Jolanta I am very sorry to hear that. I think parenting is the most important job there is yet so many people don't give it the effort it requires. I wish requirements had to be met before people could become parents but I know it would be unenforceable. I think the effects of poor parenting are lifelong although the can be mitigated with good support.

@Jolanta, @LovinLarge I can see a huge difference in the way most people see themselves and their place in the world. It's obvious that most people get nurturing and some kind of autonomy during childhood.

I'm trying to piece-together a life for myself out of spare pieces of other lives. Sharing my experiences here garners a lot of hostility, but the feedback is irreplaceable.

@BitFlipper I am sorry that sharing your experiences here garners a lot of hostility but glad that you find benefit from the feedback. I use the block function to separate the wheat from the chaff. What my childhood lacked, I had the great fortune to have the resources to be able to make up for with determination and chutzpah. Please feel free to call on me for support at any time.

Thank you @LovinLarge. When you block a user, any post that person comments on becomes un-viewable. I've actually started unblocking people so I can continue to participate in threads I've already commented on. Blocking users gives them more power - like killing Obi-Wan Kenobe.

@BitFlipper I understand. I am very selective about who I interact with and no post, comment or thread is important enough for me to second guess myself. I am always busy and limit the amount of time I use this website so I want to use it wisely. My primary use of the internet is to liquidate my possessions and any other use is incidental. I do enjoy my interactions with most if the people here, however.

I've read it, great book and it's been around a long time now.

Could not agree more. Divorced my parents when I was 16. Never saw them again. I turned 72 last month and have never looked back, never have had a moment of regret.

My son and I are closest friends. His mother was killed in an auto accident when he was 9. I was a single father, moved onto the boat and sailed to the Bahamas where we met up with my brother and his family, also living on a boat.

At 14 he wanted to play football so he went to live with his grandparents so he could be in a regular school.

I was so afraid of becoming my father, I thought about every word I said and every action I took. The son is a great guy, great father and grandfather which makes me a great grandfather. Well I hope I will be a great one. Will not get to meet the little fellow until this Damn-Panic is over.

Had I continued a relationship with my parents, things might not have turned out so well.