That I am a Bigger Asshole than I really am. Those who don't think I am one, I may one day prove them wrong. I am a very Simple, Complicated Man without a Master or Mistress and that much Freedom leads to a lot of Misinterpretation.

I have the opposite problem. I have to open my mouth. Most people assume I believe the things I say, but I will take a stance I don't agree with for the sake of a thought experiment.
I don't bulletproof my wording, and people take things I say and warp them into something I didn't say, almost like it's on purpose ?

People think I'm mean and unapproachable because of the way I look.

The good old boys around here usually think I share their political views. It can get dicey when they find out I don't.

They think I used to play basketball. I hate basketball.

This is a funny one...at least for me.

I was eating lunch at a restaurant near the school where I last taught. I was chatting on the phone with a friend when a restaurant patron approached me and said "You all Spics factory workers go back home."
I ignored him and I went back to the school to prepare things for Parents / Teachers Night. Guess who came in...with his daughter? Yes the guy who called me Spic.
IAW, many people assume I am an ignorant, person because I speak with an accent.

The guy...after the conference....said to me "I will never judge another person. " I reminded silent.

This is a funny one...at least for me.

I was eating lunch at a restaurant near the school where I last taught. I was chatting on the phone with a friend when a restaurant patron approached me and said "You all Spics factory workers go back home."
I ignored him and I went back to the school to prepare things for Parents / Teachers Night. Guess who came in...with his daughter? Yes the guy who called me Spic.
IAW, many people assume I am an ignorant, person because I speak with an accent.

The guy...after the conference....said to me "I will never judge another person. " I reminded silent.

That I'm a hypochondriac because I am literally always unwell lol

I'm not sure what people think of me. I constantly think about, basically torturing myself with it, but I assume that people don't like me.

That I'm weak because I'm emotional.

Really don't know, and quite frankly, honestly do not care.
I can't be bothered with whatever false assumptions people make about me.
I used to care about what other people thought. It drove me crazy. I was always
trying to please everyone, because I wanted people to like me, and was always
seeking the approval of others.
It's a no-win situation. It's far healthier not to care what anyone else thinks.

Ahhhh good one !!!.... People never like me, only until they (if) get to know me. Their assumption is that I am angry about something, which is completely out there !!!

That I'm stupid or ignorant because I'm big and very strong.
That I'm a physical threat because the same.
That I'm nasty because I focus at work and my work demands heavy manual effort and constant vigilence for other people's safety.

I have been profiled by the police many times because I have long hair and a goatee.

That I really give a S#!7. For some reason, people assume I care. I really don't.

That I have no street intelligence. That when it comes to the real world, real people, real life, that I am dumb af.

I had seen this on Barney Miller years ago When one assumes they make an ass u me.

That I like fishing and hunting

That I am a mean person because I don't smile all the time. I have an awesome resting bitch face!

To a large degree. There are no alternative facts. Those are just buzz words attempting to justify racism or sexism or nationalism---- !

Hey lady! What's really?

I worship Mr Scratch being that I'm a non-believer.

People assume that if I'm not smiling I'm in a bad mood.

Just because I am 6 ft. 2 in. tall and 265 pounds, people assume I can pick up any heavy object no matter of weight. Maybe in my younger days!!