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I feel like I'm in the closet. Not as gay, but as an agnostic. My father was a minister and I grew up in the church, so everyone in my family is a Christian, or at the very least spiritual and believes in God. I can't bring myself to admit to them that I no longer believe in any god- and maybe it's hard for me to admit to myself after decades of being so certain there is a god. My brother is the closest in philosophy to mine; he believes in a god or "higher power" but not a personal god. When I told him I had strong doubts there even was a god he seemed disturbed by that and that was the end of the discussion. So, I don't talk about it anymore. Does anyone else feel this way?

RikiTikiTavi 4 Aug 21
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28 comments (26 - 28)

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Yes...many of my friends believe in a god. When speak of being a disbeliever they get quiet and dhe away

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Sexual orientation is something that must be externalized in order to be meaningful. We seek sexual contact, and the people we seek reveal our sexual orientation.

There is no need to publicize our religious orientation, or lack thereof. It is entirely personal. You may choose to do what you do, respond to life events, represent yourself socially, without putting a name to your religious beliefs.

That is not entirely true. Religious people routinely publicize their religious orientation. One time a co-worker told me and the only other atheist on the floor that we needed to thank Jesus for preventing the internal disaster that started in the emergency department from reaching our area. If he hadn't been so quick to reply, "Fuck Jesus" for us, I don't know that I'd have come up with such a succinct and commensurate reply myself.

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Many people struggle as you do. I'm at an age where I am beyond that. As for your brother, he already sounds like a Deist.

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