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Have you lost friends or family due to the division in America?

On Thanksgiving, I missed my former friend Kameon. For eight years, I had Thanksgiving dinner with Kameon, her kids and parents. This year, I had Thanksgiving alone to be safe.

She and I had fun talking and laughing, vacationing and running together. We got together two or three times per week.

We laughed about how different we are. We both see the humor in life.

Kameon is a Republican, hair stylist and a self-described redneck. She ignores the news. I'm a lifelong Democrat. We were great friends.

I got her to remove the Confederate flag from her garage boy cave. "It's a symbol of racism," I insisted. "It's Southern pride," Kameon replied. "You don't live in the South," I said.

When the COVID- pandemic hit, Washington State mandated masks. Hair salons, gyms, libraries, schools, colleges and more closed.

Kameon began illegally cutting and coloring customers' hair at her house indoors. She refused to wear a mask. I mailed her a mask I sewed. She was putting herself, her family and customers at risk.

"I can't be friends with you because you keep pestering me to wear a mask," Kameon texted me last summer. End of relationship.

I still miss her.

Photos:

After a run, we took pictures of each other. "You're glowing!" Kameon said. Three years ago.

LiterateHiker 9 Dec 2
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24 comments

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7

No friends, but people I was friendly with. WIth most of them I didn't say anything, just stopped going to the places they frequented. To one, I explained it as "We don't have different political philosophies. We have different values. Yours are not those of a person I will choose to voluntarily associate with."

4

I've lost friends, but those friends started drifting away years ago - during the Clinton administration. Trumpism only gave them a "cause celeb".

4

In South Carolina there are a lot who refuse to wear masks too. I keep my distance and don’t interact. I haven’t lost any friends as a result but didn’t have that many close friends to start with.

4

I haven't lost any friends due to politics. My close friends have all been Democrats, liberals, or atheists. I don't associated with Trump supporters and do not frequent businesses that support Trump. Political chat in our running groups is off limits. I don't run with the clubs because they're not strict enough about mask wearing.

3

Lost some family members that we miss. We tried to keep the differences like football team rivalries, but the women folk took it to a personal level....alas.
However discovered several friends and family who are staunchly anti-trump, so gained more respect for them.

3

Unfortunately, I've dropped contact with a couple. I see it more as a lack of moral behavior. If they believe that they have the right to risk other's health, or lock up children and remove them from parents then lose those parents, and a myriad of other things, then I don't have time for them. It's not worth my losing my peace since they won't listen to anything. When I try to intelligently discuss and they inform me that I'm wrong or don't have a right to my opinion...they aren't worth keeping in touch with.

I've lived away for a reason. And I have no desire to move back to that mess so it's not much of a loss. I guess I'm becoming a cantankerous ole lady. 😀

Friends are fine because I don't allow those that are judgemental to be friends.

a very good choice at this stage in life,peace of mind is much more valuable

3

I have cut off all contact with two nephews and their families. Their open racism and reactionary stances cause me much more anguish than I want or need.

2

Very unfortunate. It’s never good that this happens.

I have big differences of all kinds with family, friends. But have never come close to anyone disowning anyone else. But we all know who’s responsible for making all this much worse in the last 5 years or so, though it has existed for some time prior.

2

Sorry about your losing a friend.

It's happened to me too. Otherwise thoughtful, seemingly intelligent people I thought I knew fairly well, going in directions I never would have imagined - politically, and Covid-wise.

I've heard of solid breaks in families, marriages, and like you - good friendships.

It sucks, and once the break occurs - how can we ever un-break ??

@evergreen

Thank you for your kindness and support.

2

Yes, both. The characters of several people I once respected have been very disappointing.

Deb57 Level 8 Dec 2, 2020
2

Another thing in Canada lot of us do not really say who we voted for ,some say they are liberal or conservative or NDP or Green but do necessary vote for that party ,most people vote for the best possible canidate in their local riding that they figure will do the best job for them but we also do have back lashes at the Party in power for what they have done or not done and not liking the prime minister for his views and action ,Which surely means they will be a change in government sometimes a majority but a lot of times will be a minority,,a lot more people things seems to get done that way

I have friends that keep telling me that I need to move that way. It's EXTREMELY tempting. As soon as the border opens back up...I may consider it. That or Germany.

@Larimar Well if you ever get up to Canada ,would love to meet you,,have coffee lunch I am along the Lake Ontario area in Ontario

2

Her great loss ,she is so narrow minded that she chose to loose a valuable friend .I am not going to say your better off with out her but it is a sad day when situations like this happen and they choose to avoid rather than open friendly discussion on each others points of view with the objective about learning something new.In one way since she did it to you ,it is up to her for the future to change if she ever sees the light..Warm hugs for loosing a friend but gaining piece of mind

@RoyMillar

Thank you, Roy.

2

I'm sorry both of you lost each other. Thanx to Agent Orange that happens these days. I'm a former Republican dating back to 1985. Card carrying member. Today I get branded a Democrat and I correct them saying I am Progressive. They pretend they do not know what that means. They talk diversion and the past to get your attention off of what goes on now. Most of them support Trump and his idiotic ways. Here is a talking point clue to tell who they are. In discussion you suddenly hear "whoa! It is what is is."

On to have I lost friends. Yes, but it is my gain really. A friend of many years decided that we should shoot people crossing our border with Mexico and just let their bodies lay because "Trump would be OK with it." He's history now. No el friendo.

My kid's mother thinks the sun rises and sets in Donald Trump. My daughters and I verbally avoid her on political issues. Then there is my stepson and his wife in Texas who feel that I am just "too judgmental." They have stopped interacting with me totally because of this nonsense. Others in my Facebook activist page used to drop in and argue with me, call me names, and warn me that the Donald would be around a long time and I cannot do anything to stop it. They are silent now. That page is like a ghost town. Are they ashamed? I'm finding that most of them have made up something new and are paying money for new flags and slogans. Some of these people claim they are right even when they are wrong. They drain the faithful of lots of money.

BTW, Rick Wilson turned 67 last month. See him and others on You Tube LPTV.

2

Well that’s just weird. My goodness. Very sad.

PS - Why mention her breast implants? Is that relevant to something?

PPS - I did cut off one friendship. I learned a lot of things about who she wa s from her Facebook posts ... anti-abortion, pro-Trump, OK with separating families at the border, anti-immigrant, racist, etc. It disgusted me.

@Apunzelle

Thanks. I deleted the sentence about breast implants. It was another one of our differences.

Kameon wears tight clothes that show off her breasts like Dolly Parton.

In contrast, I dress modestly and aim for simple elegance. "You look like Jackie Onassis," she said.

@LiterateHiker both looks have appeal

I'm defending Kathleen's use of the breast implants. Both male and female pay attention to breasts. What she did here is draw attention to the differences in appearance because she is telling a story and giving a contrast. She is educating us. I do the same thing in setting up my answers. I talk too much, yes, but I put together my story to educate you in my answer to things. I could just report that I lost 2 friends. It would have no meaning. In the end I educate you to my view yes, or I educate you to my view no. Sometimes we get it in the future maybe.

@DenoPenno My name is also Kathleen, so I was confused for a second.

Well, all I have to say is that it’s shallow to judge someone because they have breast implants. Probably 5–10% of women have them these days. I know a LOT of women who do — and most of them are cool people.

Do we equally judge someone for a nose job? For wearing makeup? For dyeing their hair? No. Breasts inspire jealousy, and so women put them down. Women won’t admit it, even to themselves, but jealousy is behind such judgment.

@K9Kohle789 Women’s reasons for getting them are as unique as they are. I no more judge breast implants than I judge a nose job.

What I get sick of is women judging other women .. and implying that they’re better because they haven’t had surgery ... or don’t wear makeup ... or don’t dye their hair. Seriously. Who cares? It’s jealousy and insecurity, however they want to look at it.

2

I lost a few friends even one I knew for a very long time, since I was 11 year's old but better than knowing how racist he is and pretending to be okay with it wasn't good for me. I finally told him, end of friendship.

1

I hope that in the future you'll find this is a useful "pause" in your friendship, not an end.
Doesn't sound like there's any personal bad feelings about each other.
Occasional text and email will keep the door unlocked...

(I have similar issues with a couple friends...but I won't give them up...a different kind of healthy "distancing" )...

1

Wow she is quite the looker! (You too) It's amazing how people you'd normally think of as having a moderate to elevated IQ can support that boob! Her loss.

@Stilltrying1964

Those are fake boobs, silicone breast implants.

@LiterateHiker saline is way cooler

@LiterateHiker I was referring to the boob in the white house. As far as the other thing, who cares? Real - fake - I just want some danglin' in my face!

1

Both of you have lost something. I was going to post a rant in the Trump Pinata group about the heartache I feel over my twin sister's choice to support the republican/fox/oann view of the world. We have never been close and I miss that way more than she does (her belief in god probably fills that void for her and she's married). I don't call her, long story but I am to the point the love/hate thing concerning her calls to me (they almost always are at 6a (9a est she's in PA) are taking a toll. Do almost entirely to the pandemic and trump. She called Tuesday morning and I'm still sometimes stewing over it. Like right now. My highly developed "fuck it" attitude has cracks; how can it not when so many Americans voted for 4 more years of cruelty, lies, racism, corruption, etc. ALL made worse by the failed response to a highly infectious virus that some do not think is real. YIKES! I'm not even gonna start on my one republican friend. FUCK IT!

1

My best friend does not really believe in covid and she also believes in Daddy God, but we get along just fine. There are many things that we have in common. I am fully aware of how she feels and she is fully aware how I feel. But maybe it is different because we do not live in the US.

1

I am sorry that some people are that way. What is it that people I think especially in the US cannot understand that one can have different opinions about things but still be friends and have things in common?

1

Since I am in the great white North ,( PS in southern Ontario ,half our winters are Green at times lol) I am not in that political controversary, We have our difference of opinion on voting but big thing is we try to get out and vote regardless who it is and the old saying if you did not vote than you have no right to complain . I have disassocited with a few people because of there points of views towards other people and even my self at times ,But does not bother me a bit and really never think about it other than they were just crossing my path in the journey of life and teaching me what not to be to wards other people and I am quite happy with that

1

Yup. Buddy I've know since we were teenagers.

1of5 Level 8 Dec 2, 2020
0

Since I have always lived in Liberal areas I know of no one in this category. There are a few of these people here and when we meet we are cordial, which is the nature of this place but none of my friends or family are extreme right wingers. BTW I heard this morning San Juan Island county had the highest voter turnout of registered voters in the state. Of course for Biden.

0

Yeah. When I posted that I would not be voting for either Trump or Biden, some of my anti-Trump friends said that if I didn't vote for Biden, then that counted as a vote for Trump.
I live on donations, and several people dropped their support of me and my project. Some blocked my on Facebook.

My project: What is Bosque Village

One way to support it: Bosque Village Patreon

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