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How To Develop Resilience

In 2018 with other volunteer college mentors, I attended training on working with homeless students. We learned how to help them develop resilience.

Since 2006 I have mentored 16 girls, helping them write essays for scholarship and college applications. Two of the girls were homeless. Acted as a substitute mother during their senior years. Taught Gabriella to drive (she got her WA State driver's license) and hemmed her prom dress. Gave her a full-length mirror, her first. She was thrilled.

Helped Kassandra by getting scholarships she won and college entry delayed for a year. She was afraid to let go of her job at a nursing home. That job had supported her since age 14 when her mother abandoned her.

"Kassandra's birthday is in December. She hadn't been accepted by any colleges yet. I bought her a college bed set and threw in a pillow and blanket. "This is my vote of confidence," I said, handing her the gift. "You are going to college." She burst into tears and threw her arms around me.

For Kassandra, I attended her boring, four-hour high school graduation ceremony. I hate graduation ceremonies.

After graduating from high school, Kassandra took classes at the local community college for a year. Then she started at Eastern WA University with scholarships. Kassandra is now a registered nurse with a bachelor degree. She invited me to her wedding, an honor.

10 Skills That Develop Resilience

  1. Goal setting with realistic expectations.

  2. Building self-esteem.

  3. Learning from mistakes.

  4. Understanding and acceptance of your own strengths and weaknesses.

  5. Self-control.

  6. Willingness to overcome difficulties rather than avoid problems.

  7. Optimistic thinking patterns.

  8. Social skills and ability to seek assistance from others.

  9. Ability to recognize your own emotions and those of others.

  10. Problem-solving skills.

LiterateHiker 9 Feb 1
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10 comments

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1

Great work for you and your mentees!!

1

Love the list ,Thanks for sharing

3

That's a nice list. Damaged people like me have struggled toward those goals all our lives.

Keep going, sometimes we damaged people turn out to be pretty good helpers ourselves.

3

Thanks. That's helpful.

2

I'm not sure I kept a meal down at home because my parents fought at every one.

It was like a weight was strangling me every day I walked off the bus .

3

You're a good person.....we need more good people!

@Larimar

Small kindnesses can make a big difference. We don't realize it at the time.

"Your mother tremendously changed my life for the better," Teresa told my daughter Claire and her dad last summer. She recognized Claire from a picture I had shown her.

When I met Teresa as a high school senior, her speaking and writing style was rapid stream-of-consciousness. Her intensity was like me. As class president, Teresa volunteered like crazy, including registering Latinos to vote.

So, I interviewed Teresa and took copious notes. Later I read the notes, highlighting the gems. Teresa and I used those gems to write essays for college and scholarships applications.

I taught Teresa to edit her speaking and writing. Omit needless words. Make your points with the most direct and powerful words.

Teresa is an accountant and a Latino community program director for the City of Wenatchee. She plans to run for public office when she gets older.

Bravo, Teresa!

@LiterateHiker When the libraries were open to classes, I taught excel to anyone that came to the class. I wasn't paid, It's just a way I give back. With the pandemic, I've answered some of the libraries emails on classes and took some on via zoom or teams. I share my screen and they can talk back to me to ask questions. Some of these folks are graduating high school, others are working on promotions for work, and I've had a couple older folks just wanting to learn a new skill and create a budget.

I know excel inside and out, use it for work constantly and even at home.

2

You are awesome

@Mitch07102

Thanks.

Being a college mentor is the most rewarding volunteer work I have ever done.

2

Well done

6

I could have used a friend like you when I was abandoned and forgotten.
Every time I was abandoned and forgotten.
I thought it was my fault, because I was a Christian, and as a Christian if life is hard it's because you don't have enough faith.
Life sucks for everyone from time to time, it's not a matter of faith, and no one deserves to suffer.
Perhaps, if there is a God, that God is simply humans taking care of lives that need help, human or otherwise.

@Willow_Wisp

Aww, honey! That breaks my heart.

Glad you survived and overcame your suffering.

Sending you mental rainbows of healing and peace.

5

I love to hear these type of stories.

Thank you.

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