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Lost in Translation

Do you find that some people here are quick to assume the negative in a conversation rather than opt for the positive first?

I guess I must come across as a bit of a bitch because I've had a few people here today assume I was being ugly to them when I wasn't.

PSA: If I'm being ugly to you, I'm NOT subtle about it so you really don't need to read "into" my comments. I'll call you a dumbass straight up. 😛

Crimson67 8 Apr 21
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32 comments

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0

I can be very blunt, to the point, some say crude and rude, arrogant, and such.
It doesn't bother me, but does bother some folks.
Intent vs. perception is a pool of mud.

8

Sometimes it's the person.

Sometimes it's the mood.

Sometimes it's the words, and their particular connotations.

Sometimes it's the fog of online communication.

Sometimes it's a perfect storm of factors.

It's nothing specific to this environment. Online forums in general are a magnifier for this tendency, but it's a highly variable universal human trait.

I've seen it all. There's no predicting the absolutely batty ways things can go awry, get taken out of context, misinterpreted. I don't worry about it anymore. I center myself in my doing my best and being impeccable with my words--and if someone else has a problem with it, it's not my concern.

I am a little worried about the way things seem to be going, however: I've seen people here claiming they were "attacked" in response to others just commenting differing views. I've seen my whole life how people think it's "rude" to disagree. WTF--human much??

Well said...."applause"

6

Those that speak much candid truth are also given the appearance of wielding the sharpest knives by egos that would prefer to feign from truth.

I must also add that I am in agreeance with many peoples statements about text based conversations. Even if a person writes masterfully, it doesn't always mean that it will be read the way as originally intended. That being said I think the general conversations on this particular site are more intellectual and positive than many others. 🙂

6

And this is yet another reason why you are one of my favorite people on this site!
Keepin' it real, sister!
😉

6

Well...since I know you IRL.....I read everything you say with 10+ years of backstory...so...
I can't answer this objectively.
I do know that you are truly a "take no nonsense" person and people may be reading that wrong.
🙂

I think she comes across just fine. I'm never confused about her intent.
Then again, I appreciate those who cut to the chase and eschew the bullshit.
If that intimidates anyone, they're much better off keeping quiet about it.
That's their problem, no one else's.

You all seem to be missing the point of what I posted. I know her "in real life" so I can't see her as strangers see her.....which means I can't understand why they might think her rude.

Sorry....I think I swear I read it wrong the first time! LOL

6

I try to take things in objectively and like to think I can tell the difference between someone who is 'being negative' and someone who's just stating facts or being direct.

5

Most text-based communication is missing all the subtleties of the spoken word (tone, emphasis, inflection, et al) in it's context, unless a person is a seasoned writer, uses emojis, or adds action notes (typed between asterisks, which I can't do here, because this editor thinks that means "bold", for some inexplicable reason).

A fantastic (NSFW) example of this is the classic Key & Peele skit, "Text Message Confusion"

tmaaz Level 5 Apr 21, 2018

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

5

I just want to get along with everyone.

"Can't we all just get along" - Rodney King

4

It seems on the internet the negative is assumed first with anyone. I havent seen all your comments but none I have seen have seemed "bitchy"

4

I've never got that from your comments, hopefully the misunderstandings will stop.

4

I think intent inevitably gets lost in translation every once in a while. I have a bad habit of adding "lol" to almost everything I write, in part due to the fact that I don't want to sound too serious or come across as mean.

Mea Level 7 Apr 21, 2018

I find myself doing the same thing but with emojis. Sarcasm or intentionally smart-alec statements sometimes need those little context signals, and I'm full of 'em.

3

@Crimson67

I am not sure why people diverge away from people's messages and try to suppose unsupportable conclusions about their meaning, in the first place. Rules of language are very clear.

@LetzGetReal

Lol, how do you look after your nervous system's health...

@LetzGetReal

It's a bloc meta-meme.

3

I've stuck up for people and they think I'm digging at them or recently asked a very clear question to be told im a male shoevenist excuse my spelling even though I said I wasn't.

thank you, I'm dyslexic.

3

I think that this format of communication is very prone to misunderstandings. Face to face communication has the added benefit of body language, tone of voice...
When reading what someone wrote, the reader may already have preconceived notions or underlying emotions that colour what and how they read. It's also compleltely possible that the reader doesn't read the comment in full, or misreads it.
So... Yes.
🙂

@Crimson67 Yes!! I've notice that too. It's a little frustrating. If someone put in the effort to write a post, the reader should read the whole thing, or at the very least, refrain from jumping to conclusions.

3

It's hard to project context accurately in a written message medium. People make inferences based on their own interpretations. If you find more than one person who miss your meaning, it can be a coincidence, but it doesn't hurt to strive for more clarity when you write. If you are doing the best you can, blow off that kind of response as not your fault.. Communion has two ends, sending and receiving. You can only do so much at your end, the rest it's up to the other guy.

3

You meet all kinds of personalities on this website. I've chatted with you before and found you a very pleasant person. I think typing is a very poor way to communicate because so much is lost in the interactions of people I prefer voice chat with video if possible. I have been called a moron stupid by some people on this website. people have blocked me for no apparent reason. I just try to flow with the stream and be nice that's it

dc65 Level 7 Apr 21, 2018
3

I must be a bit thick, you've never struck me as a bitch, I think you're quite entertaining and look forward to seeing you on here. 🙂

@Crimson67 there will be another chance

2

American culture is pretty negative right now. You're probably getting some of that.

2

Oh yeah, and not just here.

2

I applaud you for telling it like it is. But, calling someone a dumbass is simply tsatless and not necessary.

if they are a dumbass it is perfectly exceptable

@Dawgismygawd I think you really meant acceptable. If so, I disagree. I can say something like :"what you are saying doe snot make sense" or ""you are completely off base:, or :all of the acts say that you are dead wrong" without labeling abrasively.

@Crimson67The examples I gave, if I had actually said them, would have been accurate descriptions of my perceptions. The condescension you see in them is in your mind, not in the fact. We obviously have very different ways of viewing the issues.

2

What a dumbass straight up thing to say. 😉

2

A friend phoned today to get the phone number of another friend with whom he wanted to set up a meet.

I suggested he just email him.

He said that there was a world of difference between electronic communication and speaking face to face. He said that emails and messages almost always gave rise to the wrong impression of what was intended.

2

I see more positive feedback than negative, although it does happen a lot. I had a post on asking if I was the only Republican on the site being I saw a lot of Trump bashing. I specifically stated it was not to start a a debate or to rub anyone the wrong way just a simple question. I don't care about politics in a person I have many Democratic friends. This member Nofallo I think was his SN then bashed me for having tattoos, a pitbull, and an AK-47. So bottom line some people are dicks and its most likely being unhappy with their own life so they take it out on the rest of society that doesn't agree.

@LetzGetReal only reason I mentioned it's publicly posted for everyone to see already

2

People tend to be more negative than positive

maybe a defensive stance when you don't really know someone

@btroje make more friends when positive

@lbusche sure I am only commenting on the knee jerk negativity I see more often on the internet than in person

1

Isn't this why we ask questions?

Q: so hey, are you meaning to be an asshole or are you just born that way?
A: According to my mother, she and dad created me this way...lol

1

What I call the "if the cap fits wear it syndrome". Had a few I think block me...their loss.

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