On the subway the other day I started yelling loudly that if they kept losing Jesus, they should put his picture on a milk carton and leave me the hell alone.
I'm not interested in hearing about your invisible friend.
Did you hear the following joke?
One day two people rang my doorbell and when I answered they gave me a blank pamphlet. I said "This doesn't have anything on it" One of them responded "I know, we're atheists"
was it an unsigned first edition?
I kind of want to try that....
I tell them that I worship satan and I ask if I can eat their children. always fun.
Although "technically," atheists are child eaters too... so I could just go with that. But mostly I just tell them that I like to watch Fox "news" and then go out and club baby seals.
Just walk away and if you can't do that just ignore them. I personally love that type of conflict. I just keep my cool and ask the same questions I've asked every jerky Christian, Why do you believe and how do you know you're right. It always leads to faith and once you get there it's a simple matter of showing why faith is a terrible way to know anything. You won't convince him but you might have someone else listening that might be convinced. The big thing is no matter how angry and nasty they get you need to stay cool and non-threatening.
If they are Christian, I always go for putting my head down and reciting some Latin ~ usually gets them to walk away at a pretty quick speed. Thank you, ten years of Catholic school.
Haha! Kyrie Eleison!
Dominoes Vobiscum
I have a sign at my gate that says "I am an atheist. I do not want to be saved. Move on, Thank you!" Used to have another sign that said "Religious representatives and related propaganda are not welcome." Both work but I like my new sign better.
we're lucky , there's hardly any thumpers. around. a few girls all wrapped up and the occasional turban and they don't say much unless you engage them which can have rewards !
In a case like this I'm likely to use my sexual orientation to frighten them. I'll work a reference to my husband into the conversation. Since I am male there is a 67% probability their head will asplode.
good job
I read a meme once in which the guy said each time someone came to him pushing their religion that he would try to sell them drugs which of course would function as evangelism repellent. lol.
I deal with random preaching with the question: do you believe in the power of Satan? They will of course say yes; I then ask them in a very dead pan voice,if they are a virgin? Most become uncomfortable at that point and leave. If they answer yes, I suggest I could use them as a good sacrifice, I don't no what to ask if they say no as that hasn't happened yet. Any suggestions?
Well, if they are virgins they can touch unicorns.
Here's my method. "Lo siento. No hablo ingles". If they speak Spanish "Ich kann nicht sprechen duetsche". German? "Wo bu shou zhongwen" Mandarin? "Je ne peut pas parle l'angais" French? "I don't speak English, then walk away 'cause I'm all out of tricks.
Carry around flyers with bullet points explaining why God isn't real\the bible is a horrible fairy tale they contradicts itself, list those contradictions. I had a religious roommate in college and she challenged me to read the bible. I read the whole disgusting thing. And made a power point with over 1000 reasons why the bible sucks/there is no God. It was great but on a floppy disc somewhere. Wish I knew where
I typically just ignore them. They get to live with that.
I think humor is the best way.
When they ask me if I've found Jesus Christ as my personal savior, I tell them that I'm already seeing a savior. He may not have the abs, but those extra hands give a great massage.
Roll on the floor laughing so hard you eyes start to water. No seriously, it depends on how they are towards you about faith and religion. I may have stated this in another post but I have a few friends that religious and they range from born again to moderate. I really don't communicate much with them but not because of their religious beliefs but because we have all just sort of drifted apart over time.
Oh, I'd LOVE to hear about Jesus - whats he up to now ....
I was working on my front porch one day when I was approached by a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses. They asked if they could have a moment of my time, and I said 'sure'. They gave me the standard routine about being saved, etc., then one of them started quoting the Scriptures. When I asked him how he knew that it was really the 'inspired word of God', he said that he had faith that it was, but had no hard evidence. I told them that when they found any evidence, then I would invite them in and let them convert me. I haven't seen them since.....
Just tell the truth.I get them all the time that knock on the door and lord behold two little old ladies offering to save my soul.So its no offense but am not really interested in what your selling and if they carry on just tell them your Muslim,Them old ladies can sure move when they hear those special little words