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What is it with pet names?

It has been my experience with online dating that men immediately begin using a pet name like sweetie, cutie, or even sexy. Why is that? I don't know about other women but I really like it when a guy uses my name. That makes me feel acknowledged and special. A pet name can come later when we really get to know each other.

Wildflower 8 May 1
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29 comments

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8

I agree. Anyone who begins a message to me with "hi sexy/cutie/sweetie", etc, never receives a reply from me. Ugh.

Oh, they get a reply from me:

Him: "Hello beautiful, I'm Jason. Just wanted to tell you how incredibly beautiful and sexy you are. I'd love to meet you. Let me know if your interested. Have a wonderful day love."

Me: "Yes, I am all of those things.

No, thanks, I do not want to meet you.

Be well."

@Gwendolyn2018 Haha. I find sometimes answering them just encourages bad behavior. What I find even funnier? When they send a message criticizing your profile. I think it is a baiting situation, but I never indulge them.

@AzVixen52 You have much more restraint than I do. I once told a man that I was not interested and he asked me why, if I did not want sex, I had "those" pictures on my profile. They were the same pics I posted on Facebook where my family could see them. I wrote back, "I want sex, just not with you." Never heard from him again.

8

Simple. They forget your name so these pet names are easier

6

Good thing I read your whole post. I was going to say something about the ridiculous name my cat was given before we adopted him.

That was sort of my first knee-jerk reaction, too. My cat's name was "Superman" at the shelter. Yeah that got changed VERY quickly. LOL

6

Using pet names is a way to infer intimacy. I don't appreciate it when a relative stranger starts calling me honey, or dear. Lets get to know each other first. Usually I get that from scammers, I think they may have trouble keeping names straight, much easier to be non specific.

That being said if someone messages me and tells me something really nice I am likely to call them sweetie.

6

I love pet names AFTER we’ve been exclusively dating for a while. If a guy calls me something ridiculous right off the bat I usually don’t respond. I figure they’re just looking for a hookup.

5

Online guys are often talking to several women at once. Using a pet name means they won't get confused and say the wrong name.

Exactly. I've had that turn out to be true several times. That's too bad because I like pet names when they've been chosen to refer to me -- not a group of women

5

I wonder if the pet names are used by some lowlifes to avoid saying the wrong name. If all you ever say is "sweetheart," you don't have to think too hard when you're trying to scam someone.

4

When I first met my partner he used my name in every sentance and I realised its normal from Northern Ireland as where he is from Peoples names are very important - I am used to being called all sorts; love ,darlin, etc so found it quite weird to be addressed so much by my own name

4

One of my pet peeves, for sure. I think it is intended to make us feel special.

It doesn't.

I find it condescending and assuming way too much.

4

Ive been with my husband for ten years now, but back when I was dating my concerning pet names was this : If they didn't put in any effort and attempt at creativity in a pet name and called me something generic, I would put in just as much effort, that being very little.

If it was creative I would flip it (find a male equivalent)and use it for him. If he didn't like it I made my point and knew he wasn't going to get my sense of humor so a relationship was out of the question.

That being said pet names can be fun once you know someone well enough and respect has been established.

" man tits" is what I my husband and it cracks us up everytime. Considering women getting called " tits" is pretty common here where we live, even now in 2018! That pet name always made a little bile come up my throat whenever I hear it. With a male version we've turned it into an inside joke between us.

4

I don't like them.
Every relationship I've been in I ask they not me dear, honey, or any others.
I have a name - use it.

3

I got one of my excess to stop addressing me with a really annoying term of endearment by calling him "My little smegmakins".

3

Don't be such a party pooper squidgy bum!

I'm kidding! 🙂

3

Can't fucking stand it from strangers. If we've never met or haven't been friends for months, it's completely inappropriate.

3

I usually address people by their first names unless they specify otherwise.

3

I find it condescending, as if I don't know it is a line. Sort of puts me in mind of a used car salesman. A little smarmy, who thinks I'm desperate enough or gullible enough to fall for it. Pet names are for when you are a couple, in a relationship, or for my kids and pets.

2

I find the use of "pet names" right off the bat VERY off-putting. In my opinion (and my opinion only), it sort of reeks of desperation.

2

I agree with you. I would never use a pet name until I dated someone for a period of time.

ebdb Level 7 May 6, 2018
2

I just use pet names for my 2 kid's

2

Lots of people I know have pet names given at birth. Mine is Dimples.

1

I'm with you. Mind you I hate it when the 20 yr old sales assistant say "thankyou love". I like pet names when we are intimate, especially if they're original. But I don't like being called baby and I don't understand why a grown man would want to be called 'baby' or 'babe'. But I'm probably reading too much into it.

1

I never understood them

1

It all depends which corner of this country you live in. In Texas sweetie, hun, and darlin' are used by both genders when adressing each other, even by people they don't know well or at all. Just because you might be insulted by it doesn't mean it is a sign of disrespect. ☺

Thanks. Good to know

0

Serial daters can't be bothered using names, they go with honey, babe, whatever. They run thru too many to keep tabs on names.

0

I don't think I mind either way as long as I like the name - I have changed my own name quite a few times so its quite nice for me but when youre in a long term relationship somehow I find that I don't get called by name very much at all whereas when we were dating umpty nine million years ago he always called me by my name.

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