Agnostic.com
8 7

We buried my wife this weekend. My sons came in from out of state and we held a virtual service for her. The virtual service was preferred due to COVID and because we have so many friends and relatives living in diverse places. It was very strange speaking to a nearly empty auditorium. The burial was immediately afterward and the temperatures were amazingly cold for Texas. I don't know quite what to expect in the coming days. My sons will be going back to their homes out of state soon. I expect it will be lonely, although I can already tell that my feelings are not quite as raw as they were.

I have accepted an invitation from my sister and brother to go tuna fishing with them in the late summer, and my youngest son is planning a wedding for next year in the Spring. A couple events to look forward to. I also have plans to work on landscaping my yard, but admit that I was hoping to be able to share these changes with my wife. She was my biggest fan when it came to things we did around our property. I am not looking forward to this transition of being witnout her.

RussRAB 8 Feb 14
Share
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

8 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

2

My deepest condolences,I have undergone the grieving process over the last two and a half years,and know what you're going through.

4

I offer my sincerest condolences. I'm just down the road if you need anything. You can call anytime.

glennlab Level 10 Feb 14, 2021

Thanks, Glenn. I may take you up on that offer sometime.

3

Sincere condolences

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 14, 2021
5

I'm so sorry for your loss but glad to hear you have wonderful memories because they will help sustain you.

I'm glad to hear your family is involving you in future plans. I hope the pandemic does not curtail any of them because I found that the busier I was the easier it was to bear my loss.

I was fortunate to have smart caring friends in the guise of both singles and couples that continued to invite me to both events and projects. I also had financial issues that kept my mind engaged for the first two years.

The pain and sadness will never completely go away. A new relationship can hide it but even then periodically I saw an old Facebook memory picture that brought tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart. It sounds like you, like me ,had a loving and fruitful relationship. That makes for a wonderful memories and a very deep hole in your heart. I wish you comfort.

Lorajay Level 9 Feb 14, 2021
5

Sending you a virtual 🤗 hug. Life will be a challenge for a while, but with compassionate friends and family you will get through this difficult time. Be sure to practice self care and take care of yourself.

7

I am so sorry for your loss. It's good that you're making plans as I always found them a good distraction even if it was sometimes difficult for me to participate fully ... it wasn't that I was jealous of other people's joy during weddings, births, anniversaries, etc., but that they reminded me too much of my loss, and good times with my husband. However much I wanted to be alone to deal with my emotions, too much time would lead to dark places for me. Sadly, the pandemic is making it difficult to get out and mingle, so it will be more of a challenge for you. Perhaps make a point of reaching out online more than you would normally? Organize small Zoom meetings with close friends? Or come here to talk. Online or off, there are some good, supportive people in this group.

I initially rejected support groups because I'm not a group person, and when I went to my first one, it seemed a bit like a single's mingle and it overwhelmed me. I did, however, find a small group at a local church (yeah, I know, but it wasn't religious) that only ran for six weeks. I think it was something like "grief during the holidays" or something, but I found it a good place to share my feelings and it helped me a lot. So I recommend keeping an open mind to that. Grief is a long, multi-layered process, so be gentle with yourself and your expectations.

Lauren Level 8 Feb 14, 2021
6

I had good luck with a Methodist-sourced Grief Share group. It was heavy into group helping and sharing and relatively light on religious nonsense. I was pretty devastated when my wife passed.

Detritus Level 7 Feb 14, 2021
4

If there is a grief support group it would probably help you to check it out. Grief is a strange thing. It will bring you to your knees when you least expect it.
I'm very sorry for your loss.

freeofgod Level 8 Feb 14, 2021
Write Comment

Recent Visitors 30

Photos 138 More

Posted by bookofmoronsIts been 10 years last week since I lost her. Hard to believe where that time went and yet it isn't either

Posted by RedheadedgammyToday four years ago today, at 4:15 in the morning my darling Richard passed away.

Posted by BettyEvery day. 😥

Posted by RoseyRoseToday is the anniversary of my husbands birth.

Posted by GeorgeRocheleauI know how they feel.

Posted by Sonja44All of it.

Posted by Sonja44My love would have been 61 years old today. 💔

Posted by AlchemyWow, I am grateful to find this group.

Posted by AlchemyWow, I am grateful to find this group.

Posted by Huskygirl4everToday would be our 27th anniversary it's the seventh one without you and it hurts this picture would be taken on June 12th the original date we had set for the wedding but we had to get married a ...

Posted by Huskygirl4everI remember when Norm gave this to me and the first time I ever read it I actually read my last name as Friedrich this is one of the things I will always cherish

Posted by AncientNight45 years ago, my Father told me, "Beware the Ides of March!" It was the day I got Married to my Girlfriend.

Posted by KymmacgOne of the biggest issues for me, now, even 18 years later, is the loss of life.

Posted by alonI had a nice Bacon/Cheese Omelette for my Sunday Breakfast this morning instead of my usual Eggs Benedict.

Posted by MsHolidayMemories.

Posted by MsHolidayI have chosen to place this here to let others know that we do move forward.

  • Top tags#wife #friends #grief #death #video #cancer #hope #relationship #world #kids #memories #reason #widow #marriage #god #religion #weddings #children #Song #dogs #book #DonaldTrump #holiday #Christmas #parents #sleep #church #dream #religious #poetry #hello #hospital #Friday #funeral #sex #lonely #advice #coffee #dying #soul #humans #college #rain #dance #siblings #movies #faith #money #youtube #Present ...

    Members 280Top

    Moderators