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We buried my wife this weekend. My sons came in from out of state and we held a virtual service for her. The virtual service was preferred due to COVID and because we have so many friends and relatives living in diverse places. It was very strange speaking to a nearly empty auditorium. The burial was immediately afterward and the temperatures were amazingly cold for Texas. I don't know quite what to expect in the coming days. My sons will be going back to their homes out of state soon. I expect it will be lonely, although I can already tell that my feelings are not quite as raw as they were.

I have accepted an invitation from my sister and brother to go tuna fishing with them in the late summer, and my youngest son is planning a wedding for next year in the Spring. A couple events to look forward to. I also have plans to work on landscaping my yard, but admit that I was hoping to be able to share these changes with my wife. She was my biggest fan when it came to things we did around our property. I am not looking forward to this transition of being witnout her.

RussRAB 8 Feb 14
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My deepest condolences,I have undergone the grieving process over the last two and a half years,and know what you're going through.


I offer my sincerest condolences. I'm just down the road if you need anything. You can call anytime.

glennlab Level 10 Feb 14, 2021

Thanks, Glenn. I may take you up on that offer sometime.


Sincere condolences

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 14, 2021

I'm so sorry for your loss but glad to hear you have wonderful memories because they will help sustain you.

I'm glad to hear your family is involving you in future plans. I hope the pandemic does not curtail any of them because I found that the busier I was the easier it was to bear my loss.

I was fortunate to have smart caring friends in the guise of both singles and couples that continued to invite me to both events and projects. I also had financial issues that kept my mind engaged for the first two years.

The pain and sadness will never completely go away. A new relationship can hide it but even then periodically I saw an old Facebook memory picture that brought tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart. It sounds like you, like me ,had a loving and fruitful relationship. That makes for a wonderful memories and a very deep hole in your heart. I wish you comfort.

Lorajay Level 9 Feb 14, 2021

Sending you a virtual 🤗 hug. Life will be a challenge for a while, but with compassionate friends and family you will get through this difficult time. Be sure to practice self care and take care of yourself.


I am so sorry for your loss. It's good that you're making plans as I always found them a good distraction even if it was sometimes difficult for me to participate fully ... it wasn't that I was jealous of other people's joy during weddings, births, anniversaries, etc., but that they reminded me too much of my loss, and good times with my husband. However much I wanted to be alone to deal with my emotions, too much time would lead to dark places for me. Sadly, the pandemic is making it difficult to get out and mingle, so it will be more of a challenge for you. Perhaps make a point of reaching out online more than you would normally? Organize small Zoom meetings with close friends? Or come here to talk. Online or off, there are some good, supportive people in this group.

I initially rejected support groups because I'm not a group person, and when I went to my first one, it seemed a bit like a single's mingle and it overwhelmed me. I did, however, find a small group at a local church (yeah, I know, but it wasn't religious) that only ran for six weeks. I think it was something like "grief during the holidays" or something, but I found it a good place to share my feelings and it helped me a lot. So I recommend keeping an open mind to that. Grief is a long, multi-layered process, so be gentle with yourself and your expectations.

Lauren Level 8 Feb 14, 2021

I had good luck with a Methodist-sourced Grief Share group. It was heavy into group helping and sharing and relatively light on religious nonsense. I was pretty devastated when my wife passed.

Detritus Level 7 Feb 14, 2021

If there is a grief support group it would probably help you to check it out. Grief is a strange thing. It will bring you to your knees when you least expect it.
I'm very sorry for your loss.

freeofgod Level 8 Feb 14, 2021
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