The first three months I cried all the time, in supermarkets, in the post office, at the bank always when people gave me a hug. At home , oh so often. Then for a month I immersed myself into near death experiences and I found hope. These came from all over the world but the surgeon who'd seen about a thousand gave me hope. Actually very few were Christian. Most people just experienced pure love. I don't care what people believe. Like Krishnamurti, I don't believe in anything. To me Atheism is a religion. The fact is we do not have a clue what happens after death but these experiences give us hope. Maybe we enter a 4th or 5th dimension where it would make no sense for us to see it and no sense for them to return. I had a cardiac arrest and was very quickly brought back to life. Too quickly but like those others I know that love is the only thing that matters and I do not fear death.
Now 2 years have passed and I remember her with smiles and very, very occasionally with tears. Part of her is watching me and nudges me when she does not approve!

Thank you all for your support. One minute at a time, just one minute.

It can happen again, get help for depression and don't give up

We were together only 16 year’s. The memories are still there and always will be even after 5 years. Hang in there. There will be good times ahead but only if you let them.

Very sorry for your loss. I just past the three year mark of losing my husband in June of 2018. It is a difficult journey for most all of us, but with the love of friends and family we move forward ever so slowly. Remember to take care of yourself as this is a time for your own healing too. We are here to listen and offer advice to help you.

I know the feeling;it's been a little over three years for me

When you love someone there will never be enough time. It sounds like you have many wonderful memories to treasure and keep him alive in your heart.

My husband died 9 years ago. In some ways I was fortunate that he had a long illness to prepare me for the loss. He was not fortunate because of what he had to endure before dying.

I was also fortunate that I needed to figure out how to maintain my standard of living so that kept me busy for at least the first year. I also had friends that pushed me to stay active and that is probably the best solution for most people. I hope you can find something that you love to do so you can be busy as often as possible.