My husband was the atheist and I was the church goer. He nicely reasoned and taught me that I was believing the unbelievable. So date a church goer and show them the error of there beliefs.

@Susieq , well I did turn my husband atheist. But he wasn't a church goer. And I can't stand to be in the churches around here. They are all southern baptist or pentecostal. I won't stay anyplace they believe and teach that my gson is going to hell because he's gay.

That's too bad. I live near Palm Springs which is a big gay friendly town. All the high schools have gay clubs. We call it Diversity. Most of the gays have moved here because of persecution and resentment from their previous town. Most are well educated and have money, including my cousin. Nov. 4 is the yearly gay parade, the largest in the nation. I go and it's so fun and all the businesses and community come out.

Glancing at your story, gives me hope. I'd at least like to try dating. June, my late wife didn't want to go to her grave with me without a lover to help me through the rest of my life, but that isn't who I was. Now almost three years along and not being ready to be truly alone, time to move on. I'll never forget her, and perhaps the hardest part will be the comparative of her to whomever I may meet.

@Sofabeast You'll know when your heart accepts there is a future love and the time is right. My husband wanted me to be happy again and encouraged me to join match to meet someone new after he was gone. Finding someone that can understand that we will always carry the love we had for your spouse (forever) is possible, I never thought it really would be, but I am proof. Find someone with a ton of empathy and someone who try's desperately to appreciate all that we went through. They will never be able to totally grasp what we endured, but finding love again has been a beautiful thing and having someone to talk to about what happened and who will help me through this next step is wonderful. Good luck to you.