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Q. How do you get an Englishman to take a bath?
A. Tell him there's a Free ticket to Australia inside the bar of soap.

Triphid 9 July 2
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1

Q, Why are Australians so good at sport?
A, Well there are several factors that contribute to this; Good food, excellent weather and the total lack of any intellectual distractions whatsoever

273kelvin Level 8 July 3, 2020

Is it working atm?

1

Q, What happens when an Irishman flies from England to Australia?
A, The average IQ of both countries increases

273kelvin Level 8 July 3, 2020

Nah, that's how New Zealand lifted both their national average IQ and Australia's - they conned 500,000+ mainly Maoris & Pacific Islanders to ship out of New Zealand to Australia for, I think, a $1000 bounty.

1

Q, Where do you hide your wallet from an Australian?
A, Under a book

273kelvin Level 8 July 3, 2020

Whereas with a Pommie you hide it under either a bar of soap or an accordian unless he's wearing bells on his legs and carrying a hanky in his hand.

Definition of an English Lord.
An English Lord is a man who finds a Prostitute in the gutter and then brings her down to his level.....LOL.

Hey, @273kelvin, have you ever wondered why we exported Fosters Lager to England?
It was our way getting rid of a beer that tastes like camel's piss whether it's cold or hot like you Brits drink your beer.
Oh, btw, Did you know that England has the biggest Sewage disposal system in the world?
They flush ALL their shit down the sewers and it comes up in almost every country except England.

@Triphid Fosters isn't that big here. But we do get all your good writers and the US gets all your actors so fair dinkum

@273kelvin Yep, we had to send our writers over to England in an attempt to educate you lot to the fact that England is NOT the Centre of the Universe.

@Triphid No it's not, it's just where they go to make a name for themselves

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