I wouldn't date someone who didn't have grown kids or who hadn't been married before either.
Otherwise, they usually haven't a clue what relationships and children involve, often seeming to think life is one big party.

Obviously, she isnt for you ?

Turn around, walk away.

it wouldn't be a red flag for me, but I'd wonder about compatibility. like, did you just not want kids? because i love kids and couldn't have married a man who didn't, even if I was done having kids at the time we met.

Ugh I hate dating sites. For some women breeding is their entire identy. I suspect she's one of them. Move on, and be glad she didn't want to meet you.

Not at all to me at least

I have been on the other side of the coin in 2 ways.
Women with no ex and no kids would see my kids as an infringement, they are in their 30s, but still a big part of my life.
I have also had women who expect me to break ties with my kids as they do not understand my world.
I have dated women whose kids are nightmares and where I have had all sorts of battles with ex husbands from physical threats to court rooms. ahhh life, ignore it, hate it, you can't like it.

When I see “never married” on a profile, I wonder what the person is looking for. Have they had successful long term relationships? Do they want a casual relationship? If they want marriage, what changed so that it’s appealing now, or what prevented it before? A bit more information upfront would prevent people from assuming the person was just a player or had some serious issues.

Man child ....lol sorry just kidding plus talking about myself until I was 39

The older you get without being partnered at some point, the bigger the red flags....

I, too, would probably stay away from any woman who hasn't a "normal" life life experience. That would be for me a red flag about something being wrong. On the other hand, I've met some women who have lived an extraordinary life, to whom "normal" simply don't apply..

It's a red flag for me. When I see never been married and has no kids in a dating profile it usually suggests they can't commit and do not understand the commitment it takes to raise children. I've tried to date men who have not been married and who have no kids. The one who hasn't had kids often seems to feel that I spend too much time with children and give them to much attention. Ummmm... They're kids... They need their parents time and attention.

has anyone thought that the greatest difference that two people could have is that one is a male and one is a female

No it isn't. That woman is being unfair to judge you for that.

IMHO, don't think it is negative. To me it means you don't have baby mama drama. No child support and no alimony. All good things. It also means you might not understand my involvement with my kids, but I'm not going to assume the worst at the get go. I think you definitely dodged a bullet, that judgement was kinda harsh. It's not like you have inhabited another planet and you were a kid once and had parents. You know how those relationships work.

My mom avoided dating guys that didn’t have kids because it could mean that they want some later. Now she married to someone younger that’s used to the bachelor life and it’s a huge change for him but she’s willing work on it. He’s got a LONG way to go though.
I don’t care either way but I’m on the younger side and so is my kid. I don’t have any experience dating with kids though.

I had a conversation on another site with a man who had never been married or been a parent (he was 61) who said that he expected any woman with whom he had a relationship to put him first -- she needed to stop putting her kids first. I should add that he had dogs that he expected to become a priority for any woman he dated. He was angry and offended when I told him that I thought that was an unrealistic expectation. My daughter is an adult, but she will always be my first priority. He told me he thought that was selfish. Needless to say we didn't communicate further.
That said, I have a friend in a great relationship with a man in his 50;s who had never had a relationship before because of his father's death and the need to assume the family business and take care of his mother. It was finally time that he could think of himself.
So I have opened my mind to more types of men. There are a lot of reasons for all sorts of status. Divorce I get -- I've been there -- and there is some bias on my part to find someone with a similar history to mine. But i'm more open minded than in the past.

People who have had children don't always understand partnership. The Bible says cling to your wife. Not your mom you kids your dad. It's good advice.

I never married and I don't have kids because I decided to do some serious and not-so-serious dating, finish college, get a career, and buy a house instead of marrying the first person I seriously dated, pop out a few kids, go through a messy divorce, and wind up at the same spot I am now but with a lot more baggage and resentment

Seems like I dodged a bullet

I think she may have been too close minded. Cultural differences? I think of that as one person having grown up entirely different, like a different country.

Personally I would be interested to know how or why you were never married and didn’t have kids. Curious but not judgy. I pretty much did was expected of me so I admire someone who is strong enough to do what is right for them

It just may be difficult for you to understand that her kids will always come before you.

Next.

I suspect she fears you won't understand her attachment to her children unless you've "been there".

Or she assumes you're a playboy and will hurt her.

We all have our red flags I suppose. Mine is socio-economic level. I hesitate to date anyone that is significantly higher up than me.

Makes life a bit difficult since I'm more educated than most from a similar background as I but earn less than those whose education I match.

You dodged a bullet. Be grateful. Breeder entitlement is a prevalent theme in our society. People think that they are someone better, smarter, more responsible, etc. just because they had a few sex trophies. Yet, they roll their eyes when you point out that you can't go a day without hearing about someone murdering, abusing, abandoning, their children...or even stories of all the "dead-beat" parents. If the mere biological act of reproduction made people "better" in any regard, the news wouldn't be full of dead/abused/neglected kids.

Yet, breeders still expect everyone to think they are oh sooooooooooooo amazing.

You are a catch for any woman who valued education and career over just adding to the over-population of the Earth. Like I said, you dodged a bullet.

Oh yeah bro... your lack of commitment to a train wreck means you are not "trainable".