it wouldn't be a red flag for me, but I'd wonder about compatibility. like, did you just not want kids? because i love kids and couldn't have married a man who didn't, even if I was done having kids at the time we met.

That woman is WAY TOO NORMAL for you, she did you a favour so move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea, sounds just like a dating app my niece uses.

Oh yeah bro... your lack of commitment to a train wreck means you are not "trainable".

You dodged a bullet. Be grateful. Breeder entitlement is a prevalent theme in our society. People think that they are someone better, smarter, more responsible, etc. just because they had a few sex trophies. Yet, they roll their eyes when you point out that you can't go a day without hearing about someone murdering, abusing, abandoning, their children...or even stories of all the "dead-beat" parents. If the mere biological act of reproduction made people "better" in any regard, the news wouldn't be full of dead/abused/neglected kids.

Yet, breeders still expect everyone to think they are oh sooooooooooooo amazing.

You are a catch for any woman who valued education and career over just adding to the over-population of the Earth. Like I said, you dodged a bullet.

I suspect she fears you won't understand her attachment to her children unless you've "been there".

Or she assumes you're a playboy and will hurt her.

We all have our red flags I suppose. Mine is socio-economic level. I hesitate to date anyone that is significantly higher up than me.

Makes life a bit difficult since I'm more educated than most from a similar background as I but earn less than those whose education I match.

Next.

My mom avoided dating guys that didn’t have kids because it could mean that they want some later. Now she married to someone younger that’s used to the bachelor life and it’s a huge change for him but she’s willing work on it. He’s got a LONG way to go though.
I don’t care either way but I’m on the younger side and so is my kid. I don’t have any experience dating with kids though.

No it isn't. That woman is being unfair to judge you for that.

has anyone thought that the greatest difference that two people could have is that one is a male and one is a female

I have been on the other side of the coin in 2 ways.
Women with no ex and no kids would see my kids as an infringement, they are in their 30s, but still a big part of my life.
I have also had women who expect me to break ties with my kids as they do not understand my world.
I have dated women whose kids are nightmares and where I have had all sorts of battles with ex husbands from physical threats to court rooms. ahhh life, ignore it, hate it, you can't like it.

Not at all to me at least

Turn around, walk away.

Obviously, she isnt for you ?

I wouldn't date someone who didn't have grown kids or who hadn't been married before either.
Otherwise, they usually haven't a clue what relationships and children involve, often seeming to think life is one big party.

Seeing that as a red flag with nothing to back it up is idiotic thinking. Judge the person and their character and whether you want to be in a relationship with them AFTER you get to know them. Simply not having ever been married or having kids doesn't mean there is something "wrong" with the person.

I would not think it is a ‘big red’ flag! This person was most likely thinking about all the scenarios, surrounding families and I must admit that they never end, no matter how old or how far away each of them are! Maybe, this person was not ‘up-to’ learning a ‘new game in town!’ You could be overwhelmed and then maybe not...with a ready made family! Just keep looking, the right person, at the right time will take your heart...

Hell no! Having kids is a big red flag for me, personally

Not mine, but I'm not like other women.
I'm also not looking for anyone.

To some maybe. Families do get together for holidays and there are bound to be grandchildren around.

She thinks you will not be able to share, nor understand, some of her feelings and perspectives.

And she is correct.

It just may be difficult for you to understand that her kids will always come before you.

I, too, would probably stay away from any woman who hasn't a "normal" life life experience. That would be for me a red flag about something being wrong. On the other hand, I've met some women who have lived an extraordinary life, to whom "normal" simply don't apply..

I think you are smart not to have kids. So what if you haven't married, I wish I never had the 1 time I did. I don't count it. ?

Many women are under the mistaken impression that older men who have never been married are bisexuals who engage in homosexual sex.

In a way I agree with her. At my age range a woman who has not been in a committed relationship, to me, is looking for security. She lacks the partnership skills necessary to maintain a loving relationship. My aunt married for the first time late in life. She spent the next 30 years picking fights with my uncle and asserting her independence. No thank you.