Yes, you are allowed to contact and date people here. I assume both have to agree.

@MrLizard

"Doublemint gum!"

@Purplelotuspod Good idea.

@Purplelotuspod, @LiterateHiker Then why am i still uncalled for!?! Ive been on here 3 times now.

So its OK to manipulate someone's body or emotions, but you draw the line at physical scars and money? Good to know.

Wow.....just wow. I’m going to assume you’re not here for dating, right?

Wow. In my book the lie just to get someone into bed is about the worst lie of all. Thanks for being so open about that.

People lie all the time to get what they want in a relationship. If its lying to make themselves seem more appealing. who cares? just another little white lie to me.

For the record and for the crybabies above, I never said i was the lying type I consider myself a very honest person. I simply said i don't see the harm in lying about things that aren't your business.

Well, lies of omission are a slippery slope. Someone can state they "live alone" when they actually live in a bedroom of their parent's house and qualify that as "well, I'm alone in my bedroom".

If a person can't talk honestly about their current situation I see a red flag. If they can't answer about their living situation, what they do for a living, whether they have kids/pets or not, its pretty shady.

We don't need to divulge every little secret right out the gate. As long as you're not intentionally deceitful, it's perfectly expected to share gradually, as trust and intimacy grows.

4.7 or 5.5 vs 5 miles is splitting hairs. However lying about your employment status, marital status, or legal status is big stuff. If your profile says single and I find out you're not, I will be out the door and on my way.

@Untamedshrew Sometimes you need to hold in some truths.

I tend to be extremely open, really too open for most people. I have no problem discussing my PTSD with strangers. It's not like that info can really be used against me, but I also understand why most people don't want those conversations.

I can see a lie of omission on a few things mentioned. If a woman was living w older parents to help them but she's financially independent I wouldn't mind what her profile said as long as she clarified after a few dates and it seemed like we might be good together.

Same thing w employment status, I'm self employed and doing ok but some people, especially women wanting security, might see that and interpret it as shady.

All this is stuff a couple will have to work out. I've had first dates where a woman seemed to care if I could have a normal conversation wt being too sexy and other conversations we talked deeply on many things. I didn't recall this, but my recent ex and I apparently talked a bit about sex on our first date and it seemed normal and natural for both of us. We didn't even have sex for 4 months despite talking a bit about sex.

Great perspective. I have said, all men lie. It's probably true of women too. I've accepted it. It's fine with me now.

@confidentrealm
It won’t change anything if you get upset about it.

@Gatovicolo Perhaps it is not really lying. People tell themselves stories they make up so often they begin to believe it is the truth. Or perhaps it is just a different perspective instead of a bold face lie.

@confidentrealm
That’s sounds suspiciously like Sinefeld: Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

@Gatovicolo Sort of like religion... LOL

I am an INFJ...I know, too!

Yep, expect to be targeted by people who are undatable due to distance that have a fantasy of living in your town. Maybe some people can fall in love in cyberspace, I'm not one of them.

and then wanted some $$ to make the move...(?)

@exilesky Yes I'm learning that lesson, not in love in cyberspace but why I'm a target by the undatable. Fantasy, it's not a good feeling.

Oh dear...scary.

You're right, people are very different. I guess the interesting part in getting to know someone is what they ask questions about - and what they never ask questions about. I think people tend to gamble that the person they are dating will become too fond of them to dump them when "the truth comes out" - if they ever plan on it coming out. I feel it should be tit for tat - if you ask about criminal history, you should be willing to discuss your own, etc. Then again, is there actually such a thing as a real secret any more? People on social media tell more about themselves than they realize, and what they don't can be easily revealed online with a background check.

@exilesky I don't think it's that hard to be a little deceptive, I have wildly disparate friends and some have had interesting lives. My friend who is a sex offender intentionally went by his middle name after being released from jail so it would be harder to google him.

Clearly he's straightened up and not committed any crimes in 20+ years, but that's still something he wants to keep somewhat private. Although he did tell his wife all the gory details on their 3rd date so she wouldn't get too invested before knowing the truth.

Overall people are crappy liars though, even if they lie about their history the personality is the same. A penchant for violence, poor boundaries, crappy finances...will show up no matter what they lie about.

I'm intentionally very open, too open for many people really. I just don't care if people know I slept around a little bit 20 years ago. One woman I'd been on a few dates kinda freaked when we talked about me having a threesome 20 years prior even though I made it clear that's not what I want today....meh her judgemental atttiude and emotional responses wasn't the only reason I stopped seeing her but they were contributing factors.

I think people should be extremely honest w potential mates before they get serious. lol I'll tell you all about my criminal history, and I just did. At the same time I'd want to know I'm dating a felon before getting emotionally invested.

My last girlfriend and I talked about sleeping around in my 20s, both our finances, concepts on marriage/partnership, retirement before getting serious. Each couple is unique, but I want to know all the bigger skeletons about the time we decide to be exclusive. If there's anything in the back of her mind that would be embarrassing, I should know about pretty quickly. Women I date rarely have major secrets, but I have dated a felon and another woman who had herpes and both told me their secrets before getting serious.

I don't share my personal life with anyone unless Ive known them a long time or we have decided to try to have a relationship. You don't have to get personal to be friends.

@J-MaisOui I'm probably the opposite of that. People, even random strangers knowing I've been diagnosed w PTSD or that a screwed around a bit after leaving Christianity doesn't bother me at all and nobody could use that information to hurt me in any way really.

I understand why others are more private and I'm glad that works for some people just like my openness works for me.

Oh, should I qualify that with ANY dating site? They ask here if you're willing to date members of this site as you're filling out your profile, but maybe you skipped that part. They've also advertised this as a place to meet like minded singles on Facebook, or did you miss that as well?

Yup. But the website encourages people to make friends and have discussions first.

You earn website points, and help other members get to know you better, when you write an informational profile that includes your hobbies and interests, and answer all the profile questions, since that's the first place many people look when they see a new member.

Also, the website uses your profile to find member matches, so the more details you include, the better the match.

Then you make comments and write your own posts to earn more points and privileges; for instance, at level two you can private email people. You get different perks with each level, and when you reach level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

To find members near you, click on the "Meet" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Or click on the "About" button at the top of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Click on the 'Meet" button to find member matches

Links to FAQ: [agnostic.com],
and a website tutorial: [agnostic.com]

Wow, that’s gutsy.

That happened to me a few times, they have used one of the companies who will photoshop your picture. Most of them really didn't need to, just too self-conscious I guess

btw my friends knew each other a bit for over 6 months before dating, so they had some familiarity beyond 3 dates before she found out he's a rapist.

You may be overthinking this - nobody expects someone's life history on a dating profile, much less their darkest secrets. The question was about lying on one's profile; my intent was regarding answering the basic profile questions (the kind you click on buttons to answer) with a lie. Example, if you are asked to select single, divorced, married, etc. Now, I've met a lot of "single" people who are actually married. They will say they said "single" because they are "separated" and not yet divorced. However, even then in many cases, strangely enough, their spouse has no idea they are separated and still thinks they have a marriage considering they are living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed and she cooks and does his laundry.

I actually went to a single's club "meet and greet" where a guy who proclaimed himself "single" (and he even had a Facebook profile where he claimed to be single and looked very single - tons of lonely selfies and nary a woman in sight) gave me his phone number. The next day I sent him a text that I enjoyed meeting him. Within an hour I had a phone call from a weeping woman with him shouting in the background about crazy bitches (yes I recognized his voice). I told the weeping woman exactly where and how I met him. I reported him to the dating site but I'm sure he just moved on to another site until the drama died down. Why do people do these things - to see how much misery they can cause?

@exilesky lol I overthink a lot, occupational hazard but more entertaining than the Kardashians.

@jorj I often wondered if that meant physically or mentally hurt...

Those are words to live by!

lol yep..

@kunleyg89
And you will be scarred for life !

She so desperate for asspats that she linked to this in the previous post.

My reasons for doing this is on the previous post (which was much more about bashing me that "asspats" ) everyone seemed to feel that its perfectly fine for disabled people to lie because they might exhaust themselves explaining the truth. I did this to make a point that most people think liars suck. If you feel that disliking liars is "snobbery" then that's your problem.

??

I am guessing age, e.g. saying you are 59 vs. 69?

?❤?❤?❤..Please-?

@J-MaisOui only because you said please !!!! ???? In a nutshell, it doesn't matter what the profile say, if people choice is to believe it's all lies then the content is completely and utterly irrelevant. Why is that so difficult for most people to grasp, beats me. Again, don't want to write a book... And yet here I am, so thanks for laying the bait, I gladly took it ☺?

Exactly. What s tangled web: easier to just be truthful.

Considering the way things are in Washington, I'm not sure why lying isn't up for debate everywhere.

Good to think ahead.?

I've had people do that about distance too. One guy actually changed his location so it was within my distance range and then admitted we couldn't meet because he lived on the other side of the country. I find it weird and annoying that instead of just accepting people want something else, some people consider it a "challenge" to try to make you accept something you don't want, and will prune and twist their profile until it fits what you want, knowing full well they are being jackasses. The time and effort they spend trying to force someone to get to know them makes no sense - if they had expended the same effort on someone who wants to meet them, they could have had a dozen dates by now!