@MissKathleen My brother had 3 kids when they got married and she had one on the way. I'm pretty sure the older kids could have shown the newest child what to call her parents without my brother and his wife calling each other mom and dad. Maybe it had something to do with them being super religious JW's? Whatever the reason I still find it very weird.

Great point! For the love of Gob and Jeebus, let it go! No creo en Dios!

Lot’s of judging going on here. Not my thing but I’m sure some of what I’m into wouldn’t be their thing either. To each their own.

@Marcie1974 I don't agree that people expressing their dislike or distaste for a particular sexual practice is judgmental. It seems like almost everybody expressing that it wouldn't be for them, but to each their own.

@BlueWave I agree with you to a point. I indicated it isn’t my thing, in a (hopefully) non-judge mental way. But in reading through some of the other comments it appears some people are judging, and quite harshly.

Just because it’s “icky” to some people, doesn’t necessarily give them the right to judge negatively. Not all the comments were judgmental....but some are.

Unless it's Mike Pence calling his wife "Mother"...

@HopefullyWiser haha, yeah, he does that, doesn't he?

Schmuck is better than schmeckel!

@Jnei But in my case schmeckel would not apply.

Totalitarianism is still totalitarianism even when it has the best intentions and is rooted in half-truth. Respecting autonomy is a value.

@HonkyBMcfunky

I disagree. I'm not advocating banning it. But free speech is free speech. It is not one sided.

I've read enough articles written by women who've been damaged by 'doms'. Then there are serial killers who visit BDSM sites before going on their killing sprees.

But it's all consentual. Nothing to do with internalised misogyny or internalised shame borne of a religious upbringing.

Totalitarianism includes silencing criticism.

I disagree. I’ve really enjoyed all my BDSM experiences as a sub. I consider myself a feminist but it’s just something I enjoy. Are there predators out there? Absolutely. But that goes for vanilla interactions as well. Also there are plenty of women who are the Dominant.

As a side note, I would not be able to live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. I’m only interested in the bedroom and not necessarily every time I’m intimate with someone. That being said, I’m not going to judge someone else who is.

@Marcie1974

One thing that really pisses me off is the passive aggressive label that the smirking BDSM community reserves for the non BDSM community, which is the label of vanilla.

@Ellatynemouth I’m not smirking when I say vanilla. How about non-kink?

I have a very good male friend who grew up in an abusive household and is completely not into spanking or any type of BDSM. I completely respect that and would never encourage him to try and take on a dominant role. He’s knows I enjoy it and has tried to accommodate a few times. I shut him down immediately from doing it though because I know it makes him uncomfortable.

If being either a Dom or sub makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it. Simple as that. Honestly, I don’t know why I enjoy it. I grew up in an upper middle class 2 parent household. Pretty standard midwestern upbringing. My mom spanked as punishment on occasion but that was pretty much the norm for the 1980s I think. I consciously decided not to use that as punishment with my children because I do not believe it helped reinforce what I had done wrong. My point is that I didn’t have some kind of broken childhood that “made” me this way.

As I said previously, I don’t want kink every time but I find it fun and erotic occasionally. I decided not to overthink it and just do what feels good to me.

@Marcie1974

Non kink or non BDSM is better. But vanilla is put down.

@Ellatynemouth duly noted....thank you for pointing it out.

@Need2FeelU

You are correct. I'm a hypocrite. I hold my hands up.

Inflicting pain on someone and humiliating them, then having to spend time afterwards to tend to the wounds and injuries their dom has inflicted on them is quite normal and healthy.

And how this mentality has entered the mainstream causing problems for women is not an issue. If a woman doesn't want to be slapped hard across the face she's vanilla. She's shamed.

Call me vanilla.

@Ellatynemouth uhhh... you were shaming people. Most of us said live and let live...

@Need2FeelU

Here's the thing.

BDSM has offered a safe haven to misogynists and those with internalised misogyny. It's akin to offering a room to abuser and the abused.

What I take fucking exception to is your shit being pushed in my face in my daily life.

I have closed two mainstream dating accounts because I was sick of seeing men's profiles with photos of women being brutalised, bound and gagged.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT STUFF?

I stand by every comment. BDSM has given the green light to misogynists. Women around the world are suffering because of it.

Your snydey reply just confirms things.

I prefer a dominate leaning woman. I guess that's a smidge kinky. : )