This question is going to be controversial, but with the subject matter it's to be expected. Is it racist to not be at all interested in guys of your same race when it comes to dating? My mom says no. I've no malice or hatred, I just feel numb and indifferent when it comes to Black men. This stems from the fact that when I was 8 or 9, my older cousin sexually assaulted me twice. Then when I was older (pre teens) I almost got into fights with other male cousins because they would make passes at me, and I had to defend myself somehow. Yeah, my family is gross. Anyway, the root of it most of all was my father who wasn't ever around and when he was, didn't want us around. To this day our relationship is still rocky because he's manipulated me for money and shelter, insulted the fact that I'm mentally ill and is a religious hypocrite. I can't forgive him entirely because he threatened to hit me once when I kicked him out of my apartment. Lastly, I see that not one female relative of mines have had a happy or loving relationship with any of them. Then the hypocrisy in the Black community that it was okay for them to date women outside their race, but when we did, it wasn't okay because we were "splitting up the black family". My father threw that in my face once because my ex was white. Thing is that I don't tear down Black men to raise up other races. To be honest, I rip on all men for being idiots but I like dating other races because I can be myself with them, they accept that I'm non theist, mentally ill and that I'm a shy, goofy nerd and geek with opinions. I respect black men like a few select uncles and cousins who mind you, have white or Hispanic partners but I don't really say much about it. I'm just doing me, but it's hard to try to explain how I feel to Black men that I don't feel the same as they do because I'm afraid of the backlash.
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38 comments (26 - 38)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.My Dear, Date whoever you want. I will always support you on that. I live in South Africa and where is many a black lady that would not be seen dead with a black man. Here as in religion men are head of the house, and they try to enforce it at every turn, especially sexually. Go in peace beautiful lady !
VAL3941
Level 8
July 7, 2018
0
That is just how you feel, it shouldn't matter what attracts you, as long as you are happy!
MichelleGar1
Level 9
July 7, 2018
0
You're absolutely allowed to feel whatever it is you feel.
memorylikeasieve
Level 7
July 7, 2018
0
I only like men with beards....So does that make me hairless hater? I don't think so.
MissaDixon
Level 7
July 7, 2018
5
I Have a beard ????
@VAL3941 see a sit-able face! No one wants to sit on a clean-shaven face.
@MissaDixon
Your an alley right up my girl......sorry, girl right up my alley and I have a very long and experienced togue !?
You are not a racist. Live your life with whoever you want to. You don't owe anyone shit.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
July 7, 2018
1
I don’t think it matters what race you date. We’re all human. I also think you should do what makes you feel good about yourself. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and do what you think is right. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself; not your parents, cousins, friends or lovers.
Gatovicolo
Level 8
July 7, 2018
2
I'm so sorry that you have experienced these things. I hope that you will meet some wonderful black men in your life so that you needn't feel this way about them. But it is your right to have reservations about a group you are linked to but also associate with terrible memories. Some women can never learn to trust any men after abuse. Some women of marginalised racial groups can't imagine dating men who wouldn't understand their struggle in a racist society. And men so rarely understand what women must endure in a sexist society. Dating can be truly fraught.
Ellievescent
Level 4
July 7, 2018
2
You don’t owe anyone any explanations. Love who makes you happy!
helionoftroy
Level 7
July 7, 2018
3
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