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How do you answer the door to a bible thumper trying to convert you? Me sometimes depending on my mood I am polite and sometimes not so polite.

DaveC 4 July 19

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I open the door.

I find out they want to convert me.

I close the door.


Here’s the 3 best ways I’ve dealt with it:

  1. I told them I was running late for work, but if they came back in two hours my roommate would be all about it. You should know that he was a grouchy prick that slept til 3pm everyday. Sure enough, they came back. He was pissed.

  2. I asked “if that book is the words of god, wouldn’t you want to just give it to me instead of selling it to me ?” The lady grinned, knowing exactly what I was doing and politely left.

  3. While getting drunk watching basketball, two 19yo morman kids wanted to talk , so invited them in and offered them beer. Two hours later, they left with doubt and concern. It’s as if I ruined Christmas forever.

A lot of people like to be rude to these folks, I think it’s funnier to be honest with them and perhaps get a rare experience from them by doing something they don’t anticipate. That’s just me, captain smart-ass.

Josh87 Level 4 July 19, 2018

Nice! I once had a Mormon woman, with two Pacific Islander women trainees in tow, march boldly up my driveway and into my garage, without asking permission, then offering to assist me with the project at hand. I was dumbfounded by her intrusion. She then noticed my Newfoundland dog cooling himself on the garage floor, and asked, "Oh, what kind of dog is THAT?" A bit perturbed, I told her with very straight face, "oh, he's an Ordish Plunger, bred specifically for the pleasure of Queen Weema the Moist, of Ord". Oh, she said, backing slowly out of the garage, "I've never heard of that breed. he's Beautiful!". Buh bye, now.


I just tell them before they even open their mouths that I'm an atheist and they just turn around and walk away.

I guess they think you are just as committed to your group as they are.

Too hard a sell.


What colour were adam and eve?


I don't answer the door anymore for strangers. My wife, if irritated by the doorbell, let's Zorak the Wonder Dog deal with it.


I always tell them I believe in science not fiction.. then close the door while they try to process that.


'Why are there no dinosaurs in the bible?'


I don’t engage. I am never rude, but I am firm and tell them I believe in science not science fiction.


I tell them I am a Druid, they seem confused and walk away

Kahuna Level 6 July 19, 2018

Answer the door in a Halloween Mask of Satan. That will fuck with their little brains.


I start out by telling them I'm a non-practicing Jew, then i tell them about how i studied world religions at the Jesuit run Loyola College in Montreal when i was about 20 (true), and i close by sharing my current Agnostic views on God and organized religions. The last one makes them almost run for the hills. I love to have fun with them. LLOL Especially on rainy days when i have nothing to do but play at home.


The last time I was visited by a pair of JW maidens, I opened my door wearing my low cut skivvies, upon which they gasped and left without peddling their ware.


if i have the time, i bring my bible. depending on the gender of the person , i open it up to some of my favorite parts, and read it to them. timothy for the women. and i mix it up on the dudes, depending on there age and attitude. . for some reason in the years i have been doing it, i am always the one possessed by the devil, so they say. lmao


It's usually Mormon's. I had two women knock on the door. I ask them the most Brazzer questions.

Is it true only 144,000 men make it to heaven and no Women.
The ladies, yes that is true.
The best Mormon men can own their own planet with 33 beautiful babes as wives.
Ladies.. yes, that is true

Last ? Would not want to join another Religion that treat women better.


There is always a part of me that wants to say, Look you stupid asshole, your bible is shit, your religion is shit. Do yourself a favor and go read a Science book.

But in real life I'm just not that way, I'm usually fairly polite and just tell them that religion may work for you, but it's not for me. I am an Atheist, and just walk away.

However, if some one won't leave me alone and won't let it go, I'll hit them with some facts, and ask them some questions about the bible that I know that they won't have a good answer.
I'd rather plant seeds than just push my Atheism.


On a few occasions, I have invited Jehovah Witnesses inside my house. I've even went to the extent of providing them water. I've let them give their spiel and afterwards, I would let them know that I am an atheist. After my rigorous questioning, they would just say, "well, we better be on our way."

The last time that scenario transpired, the young lady came back early that evening and wanted to discuss my atheistic views because she was secretly straddling the fence herself. I try not to miss opportunities to bring people into the light of reason; no matter the venue. You never know what people are secretly struggling with.

I often feel like I’m the only one saying stuff like this. I’m glad to hear about you being kind and sharing wisdom


I can think of all kinds of scenarios that are amusing to concider but ultimately I just say, “I’m not interested” which point I feel like I’ve missed a great opportunity 🙂


Release the hounds.


I don't answer the door. If I am not expecting someone I'm not very likely to answer. No one that knows me is going to show up without letting me know. Those that might show up without notice have the code to the garage door. I get a lot of pest control people, realtors, replacement window people, kids selling school crap, magazine sales people, and Satellite TV sales people. I don't want to talk to them or buy their crap.


You tell them anything that strikes you as are a Satanist, Buddhist, pagan, because the goal is to get rid of them plus you didn't invite them onto your porch. Toughen up!


wearing your Satanic Temple tshirt... either that or wearing nothing and acting completely casual about it



only happened once i was 9 and its the 1st time i remember my grandma swearing if it happened now i honestly have no idea how i would react

weeman Level 7 July 19, 2018

I just don't see them very much in my new neighborhood. But I used to tell them they wouldn't enjoy talking to me very much since it might change their life.


Don't answer the door! NOT HOME! Or say you don't understand English, you are from Siberia.


I just say to them in a rough and irritated voice, "whaddayou want"? This works for all undesirables haha. They usually respond "nothing" and walk away

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