Be thankful you made the escape!
The leftover emotions are more or less the same as coming off an addiction. The mind is looking to fill in those moments that USED to be there. It's tough. But the more you occupy yourself WITH yourself, do those things you've wanted to do, talk with anyone you want, the more power you will discover in yourself.

Don't go back. Keep yourself safe. Loneliness sucks, but it beats the alternative.

You probably (might) want to get a therapist. Good luck. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

All of these posts are great, please read them and try to find a therapist. You now have many people who love and care for you use them for help. feel free to ask for anything you need. I think it was Godel who said something like" change what you want and the world will change to provide it."

Most woman stay with an abuser because of low self esteem, learn to love yourself and then good things will happen I promise.

A cat lady, how come 72, that is much to care for, or are you hoping they will care for you. I found there is a place on this site where you can look at a map of your area and find members to this group. You do not drive and there is no public transportation. Not knowing the area at all, I looked up where you are and I would think there would be room on the roads for a bicycle, If you do not have one I would get a tricycle as it would have a basket on the back to carry things. Also by traveling slower and with the ability to stop almost anywhere you could stop at interesting places and talk with people. I know this is hard but sometimes just standing in a place other people stop near and by making a comment or waiting for them to make one a conversation can be started. Carry a whistle and a can of mace, I do not want you to come to harm, but there has to be places to go, many people to meet. Looks to be a destination for tourists, so one never know who they will meet.

It takes time to find yourself again. You will. Stay strong and stay where you are. The pieces will fall in to place.

Don't return to the abuser. You may have a little social anxiety, which is completely understandable. You'll see that not everyone is abusive. Give it time, I know that you will be ok.

There should be a domestic violence organization in your area - may be listed under intimate partner violence. There is a national hot line that should be able to direct you to help. the hot line is 800-799-7233

Being isolated is the worst thing you can do after escaping an abusive situation. Not having a mode of transportation is a huge problem for anyone in the US, so that's the first issue you'd need to resolve. Either move near bus/metro lines or get a car or motorbike.
Then comes being new in an area and not knowing anyone. I suggest you find MeetUp groups in your area and those that suit your interests; there is something for each person.
I was abandoned after a 22 year marriage to a covert narcissist. Three days after learning he wasn't coming back I had come out of a 12-year depression and decided my life would go on, even without money of my own or a way to make a living (I sorted that too). The MeetUp groups I've joined in the six years since have been a lifesaver, as I've met many nice people and it allowed me to have a fulfilling social life.
Whatever you do, Do Not Go Back. And do not obsess about finding someone else, you need to be happy with yourself instead of depending on other(s) to find happiness. Give yourself time to heal and remember, if there is a will there is a way.
Wishing you strength and determination.

There is local and national phone support for nearly any issue.

And: find the local woman's center to find others like you.

Wait until you feel healed to even think about going back.

Do not go back! You obviously have internet access, USE it!!! You can find support groups, new activities, even transportation services. You have an opportunity to create a brand new life for yourself.
Do not waste your time worrying about not finding anyone else. You need time to heal, and to learn to enjoy your own company, BEFORE trying to share your life with anyone else again.
You can do this. Give yourself some time.

There is some great advice here. I hope it helps you. One practical piece of advice i would add is go to the library. Libraries have a lot of activities and groups that you can join for company and it will get you out of the house.

Thank you for reaching out and expressing your thoughts and feelings I/we are here for you.. at least in some form of support via text.. please don't go back to a detrimental situation..

Be strong. Be patient. You will be alright.

Sounds like you're still allowing this little prick to control your thoughts about yourself, even though he's clear over on the other side of the country.

Time to cut that shit out. Now. And do NOT go back. You'd be better off with 72 cats and a vibrator. No relationship is better than being stuck in a shitty one.

As for feeling out of sorts in your new place, you've only been there for two months. It takes time to integrate in to a new environment. It can take well over a year to really start to fit in somewhere.

Find a local pub to hang out in on a regular basis. Chat up the bar tender. Pretty soon you'll be seen by the locals as a regular and you'll start to make new friends.

You removed yourself from the situation, find your place and live your life... you don't belong to no one but yourself and nobody is going to own you or you own no one. Be true to yourself and find what makes you happy. NOW IS THE TIME!!!! I just left Maryland 9 days ago... there is a lot to do specially in DC area but transportation sucks unless you are in the city, I understand you are far from there... maybe a totally isolated place since Maryland is pretty big and may not be ideal for you but this is a big land and if you need to run away for a while to survive that is what you need to do. Keep someone inform of your situation always. ...And about the number 72... virgins or cats, is not a good number. Good Luck.

While you are in another place, do as the locals do. Get a job where you can meet normal people and make friends. Might take a few months. If it doesn't work out right away, don't worry about it. Cats are nice. If you don't want 72 cats right away, work your way up. Start with about 5-10 and get another one. One day at a time. One cat at a time. It'll work out.

I will die alone with my 4 cats. My ex was abusive and crazy. I rather be alone .
I do have a car and good bus system but no where to go. So i just read, binge watch and learning to gardan. Play guitar more. So diff now. Stay strong. You really do not have that many cats do you?

I am woefully unqualified to advise you (or @thelatesummersun) here, but I was moved by both of your posts. I see many others have commented; some at great length. It looks like you have received some practical advice here. I would add also that here, in this community, you have people you can share with and lean on for support, including me.

Good for you to move on and have the courage to make a change in your life. I know you are sad, alone, struggling to adjust to so many things, but here are a few things that might help you.

1. Not sure your age, but I am assuming the abusive relationship went on for some time. Lot's of habits and emotional programming to undo. It probably didn't happen in 2 months, so understand the healing process won't happen in 2 months. Hell, if you cut your hand, it takes just seconds to make the wound, weeks to heal. You're mind and emotions are even slower to heal from wounds.
2. You are moving into new areas of your life. It is very easy to fall back into old habits and routines. I would guard against relationship now, until you can see and stop users and abusers. Like above, you have a history and tendency of allowing and accepting abuse. I don't judge you, and I know you don't want that kind of relationship, but it is a part of you that you have to accept, as well as come to understand why if you are going to eventually change. The abuser did the abuse, and that was wrong, but eventually you need to confront your demons on why you allowed it to happen. If you don't, there is a good chance that you will fall back in with the same type of person, since abusive people need people who they can abuse. You need to be the one to shut that door so more of them don't come into your life. It's going to be hard. Probably the hardest part of the journey for any person in any situation is learning to love and forgive ourselves for letting ourself down.
3. The two things above are VERY BIG things to accept and change, so when you get discouraged remember that they are very tall mountains to climb. To get to the top, will take time, and you may have to stop and take a break to get there, but as long as you don't give up, they can be conquered.
4. I would suggest the therapist, but also set some goals for yourself. Are there any hobbies you enjoy? Is there anything you always wanted to learn but haven't (playing music, learning a new language, gardening, etc). I would find things that you can do that will give you some happiness, or at least put your mind into neutral (and out of sadness or depression). It will help you emotionally, as well as give you small goals you can see progress with in the short term - thus giving you hope and encouragement on the 'smaller' stuff you can then apply toward bigger and harder goals.

I am really happy and encouraged that you have taken the steps you have so far. Just what you have done thus far is an incredible feat of strength and resolve. Face your past, but don't let it define your future, and above all, look for the happiness in the present. It may be hard to see it through all the tears right now, but one day you will!

It takes a lot of courage to do what you have done. It will be difficult at first but you made a solid first step. It takes time to overcome your own lack of self esteem. It wasn't taken from you overnight nor will it be a fast reawakening to your personal power and self confidence. You may have to endure some challenges along the way but continue to build your inner strength. If you don't have a job contribute to the household in whatever way you can. Know that others can't make you feel bad about yourself without your permission. That is part of the growth. Stay with it, don't go back, and eventually you can be strong enough to move on.
You are creating a new life, allow the old one to die. With this there may be a mourning period. Take as much time as you need. Most importantly, relax and breathe.

Although people change, including "abusers," it seldom happens in the short term.

I know this to be true.

You have done the hardest part & done it well! It's good that you are reaching out online to understanding people. Can you walk around your neighborhood? It's surprising what just being outdoors for a while can do for your mood. If you can get a dog, dog walking is a great way to meet folks.

You are limited to cat owners, and then limited by the amount of cats you have. This reduces the amount of people who would be willing to share your life. Get used to being the crazy old cat lady.