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All I normally post here are my insane ramblings. My twisted view of the world. My attempt at making people laugh.

I'm going to post something different tonight.

My youngest son (22 year old Maxon) has spent the last three days in the hospital.

I've felt fear before. I'm not a stranger to it. But, I've never felt any fear like this.

Sitting in a chair in an ER. Watching your child gasp for breath surrounded by a team of doctors and nurses asking each other questions and the only answer I hear repeatedly is "I don't know."

Really?!? I go through life with nothing more than an intent to make people feel good and bring laughter but, this is the shit that's returned to me.

"God" is a stupid concept and a ridiculous way to hope for healing.

I'm a fucking mess right now. And, it's not even a beautiful mess. It's more like slightly attractive chaos. Sort of like watching a campfire with a gas can in your hand. That's a fairly accurate description.

Maybe I deserve this bullshit but, my kid doesn't.

He deserves the chance to grow into becoming the asshole that I am.

So, if there is some "higher power", it's seriously fucked up.

I'm not going to pray. I'm not going to beg. I'm just going to wait. Hopefully science will figure this shit out.

Because religion isn't going to.

Duke 8 Aug 1

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Geez Duke no one deserves this. What is happening?

You can PM me anytime. Wish I could give you one hellova hug.


There is no fear as great as the fear that you can't help your kids when their lives are threatened. Hang in there, medical science isn't perfect but it is good. He will always remember you were there for him. Keep us posted, we're here for you.


Being there counts. Not just in case he can sense your presence, but so health care professionals know their absolute best efforts mean very much to you. It shouldn't matter but it does: they're human.
Your posts are usually hilarious, btw.


Sorry to hear. Hang in there Duke. Just because they told you I don't know does not mean they don't have ideas. They are sparing you from the bad possibilities. Let them figure it out. Be supportive to your kid, he needs to be anchored to this world and reduce his stress.
(been there)


One of my little girls had a health scare this week. I couldn't sleep..I put my faith in science..what else could I do..

She is ok..everything is fine.

I hope your son is ok..and you will be too.
Sorry for your trouble Duke.


I hope that they will find a cure for him. As parents we want to be able to take their places if we could, we feel so helpless


I know there is nothing l can say that will make you feel better right now, but you and your son will be in my thoughts.


Let it all out. Vent all you need if you feel it helps.


I'm so sorry for your and your son's pain - I've been there, and I know there's no rest for your mind. May those doctors find answers and make solid, workable plans. Our hearts are with you fierce hug


Duke, I'm so sorry your son and you are going through this scare. Tell him you have faith in the science these doctors practice. Let them do their job, run tests, before you think they don't know for real. You must be strong and let your son see that he is going to be ok. That in its self may be the thing that keeps him from dieing right now. Lower his stress level. Let the doctors know you have complete faith in them to make the right diagnosis. Best of luck to him.


I'm so sorry man.


Have faith in science and doctor's intuition for now, and cross the next set of bridges when you come to them. One thing at a time, and hope for the best. You have a lot of people who are hoping with you that things will turn out okay for your son. At 22, hopefully he is strong enough to get through this. Our thoughts are with you.


Damn man, yeah I know what it’s like to sit in the hospital waiting for your son to recover. I hope your outcome is better than mine was. Nothing I can say will be of any good.


I'm sorry you both are going through this. I can't imagine how awful it must be...


So sorry Duke! I also hope science is able to help him!


I am hoping and wishing the best for you and your son.Your friendship and your well being means the world to many of us. As a father who would go to hell and back, and who has been to the hospital emergency for both of my son and daughter and not be able to do anything feeling scared of what might happen, I know how you feel, I wish I could be there with you. A hug from one man to another.


I'm so sorry Duke. Hoping your medical team comes up with some good solutions. Hugs to you.


I feel for you Brother. There's nothing worse than feeling powerless in a situation when you are willing to do anything to be of assistance but are unable as my son had a lot of issues when he was a toddler.

I hope that they are able to figure out what the problem is and that your son will indeed grow to become the asshole that you can continue to love and admire.


Exactly what everyone else has said. It may not help but I am really thinking of the two of you.


Oh my - so sorry ! It is such a tough situation to be in. We are with as best we can be in our little community. Hang in there with your son. Keep beside him. Hugs from us here.

Ohub Level 7 Aug 1, 2018

Duke, I am so sorry that you and your son are suffering. The feeling of helplessness is enraging. I can't do anything physically but if you want to talk, I'm here.


I'm so very sorry to hear what you all are going through! Please keep us updated.

Carin Level 8 Aug 1, 2018

I feel for you.It's a horrible thing. When my youngest son was 3, he had open heart surgery. It was terrible, but everything came out okay in the end. I hope it does for you, as well.


Sorry that you and your son are going through this.


I hope you guys are able to get the answers you need. Im so happy he is starting to improve.

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