I have a master's degree
I was born to my parents, in an apartment, in Tacoma, WA. The same apartment I'd spend the rest of my childhood living in. I moved out shortly after 19. The apartment was run down, and the walls were covered in mold, and the wallpaper peeled on every exterior wall. The carpets were filthy. The linoleum floor peeled, and cracked. We had mice, a lot, when I was growing up. I'd find their shit in my dresser drawer, mixed with my clothes. Once I woke up to a rat, not a mouse, on the end of my bed.
We were poor, just like most families in my neighborhood. The city I was raised in is the most dangerous city in Washington State. We lovingly refer to it as, "Tacompton." Drive by shootings. Hookers down on South Tacoma Way, 2 blocks from my parents apartment. Drug house directly across the street, and on the next block.
We didn't own a car for much of my childhood. It was either broken, or we couldn't afford to fix it; later sending it to the junkyard around the time I was in the 6th grade. We never owned a car, again. We began using the bus to grocery shop, and take our laundry to the laundromat.
My father has a gambling addiction, and my mother has schizophrenia. It was a hell of a thing, growing up with the type of neglect I endured. I nearly died as an infant from something called Failure to Thrive. I'm sure any of my fellow medical colleagues will understand just how serious that is, and just how overt the neglect was at that time. My father would leave me alone with my schizophrenic mother, as an infant, while he went to work all day. She provided zero care. If you've never seen videos of what happens to a baby when they are denied human interaction, you're welcome to check it out, but it's not for the faint of heart. He would tell me about coming home from work and finding me in my crib. Bottle empty, or soured, covered in my own excrement after working to get my feces away from my already severely blistered skin. You're probably wondering, "why would he even admit to that?" Because he has narcissistic personality disorder also, and he loves to feel he's a saint. Blaming my mother for the neglect after my grandmother told me about my nearly dying.... well that just makes sense, when it comes to him.
So, infancy was pretty rough. But it didn't end there. My parents were poor, and couldn't afford childcare...... got it. But, what about my hair growing up? It's simple enough to brush a child's hair. Once again, overt neglect.
Once a year I would be taken to a salon to have them comb the birds nests from my hair. Sometimes the naps would get as large as a softball. Giant balls of tangled hair. And my father would complain about the cost of the salon, but he sure did have the money for those pull tabs.
I suffered much more abuse and neglect than what I've listed and described here. I could write a book on my life that would shock people. And probably break many a heart.
I say all of this, to say.....
Poverty. That's my greatest fear. I'm overcoming it step by step.
Today, in spite of all the things I endured growing up, I graduated with my master's degree in nutrition and dietetics, and completed my dietetic internship.
God did NOT help me. I did. I worked so very hard to achieve this. This was all me. Because growing up in a religious household, I was told to pray. And I did, like a good little girl. And it didn't stop any of the abuse. I always knew it wasn't real, deep down.
I did this. I overcame. I persisted.
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Your post about your childhood sounds quite a bit like mine. I grew up poor as well but I have no regrets.
chucklesIII
Level 7
Mar 18, 2019
1
Good for you for standing up for yourself and not allowing your life to live continue that way. Way to go! Give them hell!
Unclehotrod
Level 7
Mar 6, 2019
0
You are a brilliant and beautiful star, and deserving of all the good you've worked so hard to set up for yourself. Take it all in with pride as you show the world how great life can be!
tinkercreek
Level 8
Feb 23, 2019
0
Congratulations. You've earned it!
Neglect doesn't even require poverty. My wife's father was and is wealthy, and left her home alone with a severely bipolar, intermittently psychotic mother who abused and neglected her. Eventually two younger siblings came along, and my wife raised them, starting at about age 5. There was no one else to do it. No one prepared meals, there was domestic violence at times, and all this despite that her father had become a prominent doctor with a thriving practice.
Of course, money helped, even when indifferently used. After her mother died of cancer, nannies were hired and the physical care got a lot better. Dad remained emotionally unavailable and remarried twice, to women with no maternal bone in their bodies, the last of which basically ejected his biological children from the family in favor of her own.
So while poverty was a hideous overlay in your case, I think the biggest harm done to you was emotional neglect. I would not overlook that. Learn to love yourself so that you can properly love (and trust!) others who are worthy of your love.
Good luck with your wonderful new career, and I hope your life provides you in spades with everything you lacked as a child. You're right -- YOU did this, not some sky fairy who wasn't there to look out for you all through your childhood.
mordant
Level 8
Feb 16, 2019
2
See, this is why I'm a screaming lefty. Because I believe that as a society, we have a duty to make it as easy as possible for people to escape the accident of their birth.
No child should be allowed to fail to thrive.
Go you good thing!
MrBeelzeebubbles
Level 7
Feb 16, 2019
0
Right on, girlfriend! You are a walking testament of human perseverance! Much love, strength, and peace always! ??❤
SleeplessInTexas
Level 8
Feb 15, 2019
1
The indomitable human spirit and survival instinct! So glad you made it!
Stilltrying1964
Level 7
Feb 15, 2019
0
Wow, this is one of the first post I’ve seen since joining the site. And you’ve left me speechless. As a kid that grew up in a poor neighborhood and is currently in college, striving to have a better life, my struggle seems pitiful in comparison. Your story gives me so much hope that I can get through this. Thank you for sharing!
Sciguy7000
Level 4
Feb 15, 2019
0
you're incredible!
with all the shortcomings your parents had it's easy to see you inherited very good intelligence genes.
callmedubious
Level 8
Feb 15, 2019
0
What you have done is fantastic, congratulations! You have all the admiration of your peers here at Agnostic.com!
Merseyman1
Level 9
Feb 15, 2019
0
Enjoy being online again!
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