Daniel boy , I am gonna hit u on the head , and u don't want that , nurses ARE not gentle ! U r 33! Hello ? U have kids , so u did something right at least twice ?! Get away from dating sites . And hopefully away from useless bars , except if u willing to meet lizards . Time to get involve w kids and their activities , man , plenty of single / divorced moms out there , hopefully someone nice to your standards ?? And at the very end , shy is not the plague u know . To not mention there are many women who like shy , not everybody impressed by roosters walking down the street . Keep your self mentally and physically well groom and things will happen . Getting out of the house will be a good thing too .

You are young yet, and what I will tell you may not resonate yet. I have been living alone since my second marriage (24 years) went kaputt. What has happened is that my grandsons have moved in with me, first one, then the other. Both found their grandmather easier to live with than their family. One is now back home, more mature and self-posessed. The other one is now my muscle, my debate partner, my mate in music and philosophy. I am so thrilled to live my life this way. I had plenty of love and romance in my life. Now I have peace and serenity.

Ohferpetessake...you have no idea what will happen in the next hour, nevermind 3-4-5 decades. Sinkhole opens under your car! Meteorite pieces go thru the roof! A telemarketer calls you! Etc....
Spend some time making a bucket list, then work on doing some of those things

It sounds like you are single and don't want to be. Some of the advice you are recieving is about being ok with being single. It isn't bad advice, but it sounds like you want to connect with someone. That's completely understandable.

First, recognize that this is the case and that I'm not reading into something. Make sure that being with someone is important to you. If it isn't, then you might want to skip my post.

Next, remember that there is no permanence in relationship... if for no reason other than people eventually die. If you are hiding from the fear of being alone, then any success you have will be temporary. With that, fear motivation isn't sexy. No one wants to feel like someone's novocaine to their fear.

You'll want to come from a place of love. That will mean rejecting things that aren't love in your psyche. Jealousy, possessiveness, fear, neediness, dispair - you'll need to address those things beforehand. Leave no place for them in your heart. Love will be that thing that will remain. Those other things will keep you from connecting successfully with another person.

From there, start dating. You'll have the usual good time horror story, but it'll be all yours. Eventually, you'll find someone that matches your needs and at least some of your wants. This is the process.

The hardest part is getting yourself squared away. You may be going through some depression - that could be a psychological or biological issue. Sit down with someone qualified and get yourself squared away as best you can. It isn't that you have to be perfect - we are all a bit off. You just don't want your unaddressed issues being someone else's problem. Make sure your partner values you and their own growth in a similar way.

You're courageous as hell. Don't think otherwise. You come on here and bare your soul in front of us. You come clean with it - "guys, I'm lonely". People don't get vulnerable with each other. They walk around phoney tough and crazy brave, but it isn't honest. In that willingness to be honest and vulnerable, you have a real shot at getting into some great situations with people. Stay engaged with your own growth and the relationships will come together.

All the best, Dan!

I am 71 years old and have been alone for years. I do all sorts of things by myself. I go to movies, go to a writing group, go to a monthly story slam, go out for lunch, go on road trips, take classes I'm interested in( I took a class on the reformation last year, and looking for a class this year), and all kinds of stuff. I love it. I am not particularly attractive to men, kinda fat, a little introverted, so men aren't beating my door down. They aren't even knocking, but, I want to enjoy my life, so I put out the effort, and embrace the freedom that being alone affords me. Maybe, if you think about a few things that you want to do or learn, then go do it, you would find that you are enjoying your life. I found that I sometimes need to seek out fun and happiness, and then being alone is fine. If you get out of your own way, you don't need someone to make you happy. You just are, then, if someone comes along, great. If not, that's ok too. Plus, you are only 33. You are so young. You have lots of time. If you feel like you are slipping into depression, maybe you need to consider counseling.

33 is really young to sound so defeated!! You are young still! You have plenty of time to find Mrs Right

Maybe instead of quitting, uhhhh...don't.

By all means, give up. Trying is usually the problem. Forget you're looking for a date. The pressure doesn't help. and maybe then you'll meet someone

33 seems pretty early in life to start thinking you’ll be spending the rest of your life alone. Put those ideas out of your head until you’re at least 55 like me.

Awmigawd. You're still young. I'd gladly trade places with you.

I wish I could offer you some wisdom that would help you cope. I have said here before that I am a loner, an introvert and would much rather be by myself than with others (on a regular, ongoing basis). I can be social when necessary. I have been single and living alone for over 40 years and would not have it any other way. I have enjoy living a single life and being able to do as I please, associate with whom I please, come and go as I please and enjoy the attention and affection of any woman who would enjoy the same with me (and there have been many and still are). I don't know if this helps but it certainly can be done.

I understand shyness very well. My solution was to find a few structured social settings and attend regularly as a duty to myself. With a few good acquaintances or friends you’ll be more self-confident, and a rejection won’t hurt much.

I just quit trying to find a special relationship. When that was no longer my main goal in life I was more relaxed, and I began meeting some extremely fine female specimens who were fun in every way.

ooooooooooh poor me.
My romantic life is over at 33.

No one ever met the "love of their life" after the age of 40. Ever.

Life is over. How can I ever go on?

((wrist to forehead, exit stage left))

Hi, Daniel, and welcome to the website!

Don't worry..there are many aggressive women here who like to initiate interactions with men, and they'll probably find you.

By the way, this website has a bit of a learning curve.

For members who are open to dating, certain thumbnails and profiles have a heart symbol on them with a percentage. This identifies which members are open to dating, and the percent shows approximately how compatible others are with them.

You can improve your website score in general by answering all the profile questions and writing a bio, which also earns website points, and helps other members get to know you.

Commenting on posts and writing your own posts earns more points. At level two you can private message people, and at level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

If you want to date, the website uses profile algorithms to find member matches, so the more details one includes, the better the match.

Many people prefer to see a written profile talking about interests, hobbies, and backgrounds that can be quickly perused to find others who are compatible with them.

In case you didn't know yet, to find members near you, click on the "Browse" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Click on the "Discuss" button, then "Nearby" to find members near you also.
Or click on the "About" button at the top left of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Points are now being given to level 3+ members who chat. You can see chat rooms on the group main page or at [agnostic.com].

Don't give up. I am also single and I am almost 40..lol. After a heartbreaking separation with my ex. I still hope I will find love again. Never give up. You will find her. And FYI being shy or socially awkward is not a bad thing. It really isn't. Hugs ?

Even though I've known people older than me (from late 30's to in their 80s) who have gone on to have meaningful and lasting relationships, I really can't see myself doing the same; mainly because of the same reasons you stated "extremely shy" "socially awkward," "never managed to start any relationship purely on my own." Hell, I've never even been in a relationship, and I'm 32 years old. Maybe things will change; maybe one day we'll just say "fuck it" and start putting ourselves out there. Good luck with your journey through life.

i was alone for most of my life and then i met my guy at the age of 48. he was almost 52. that was 18 years ago. i wasn't looking for a guy. it just happened. now, if you don't get out much, you may never meet anyone, but i think deliberately meeting people with the idea of scouting for a partner can often lead to making bad choices in order to avoid being alone. being alone is better than being with the wrong person. i don't know anything about you in terms of how well you have learned to live with and appreciate yourself, but my advice in general is to do that, and continue to do that. be who you are. when you go out, go out to do something or be somewhere or socialize but not as a love-scout, you know? you may or may not meet someone, and it may or may not be soon, but you'll be doing something interesting and you will be in good company wherever you go as long as you bring yourself along )

g

Honestly, 33 is way too young to even begin to equate with the rest of your life. You say you recognize that being shy and socially awkward is. not working for you - so. - there are many ways to enhance your personality and your way of being. Many self help books, therapy also, going to groups in person not NOT on the inter net, that can help you change into the person you want to be. I have re - invented myself a few times with the help of using other philosophy , therapy, and just wanting to. It works. It does work if you want it to for you.

Consider looking for meetup groups in your area. Meetup is a great resource for meeting people who share your hobbies or interests.

Why would you even think this?
I would suggest the first step is assessing why it is important to you not being alone. Then you can start to build up some plans to get yourself a few friends and who knows. Men are not the only shy and socially awkward ones out there. Understanding how you best interact with others is a very good start so don't defeat yourself before begin.

I am much older and also never expected to be where I am. Just get some social hobbies and find some people with similar hobbies or activities. You never know who the next person might be so just be open and keep trying to be less shy each day. With practice social skills do get better over time.

Keep your head up, push forward and remember your children will want you to be happy.

Make a list of all the great things about being single, and the shitty bits of being in a relationship. I love being single. It’s the ultimate freedom and if you do it right, you can embrace all sorts of opportunity! I travel extensively. I couldn’t do that with a husband or kids. I moved to the USA for 6 years for a job. I don’t know what’s next. China? India. I wouldn’t share my life with anyone but animals and friends. It’s great.

I am right there with you. Older (46) but alone now for 6 years with no prospects and no luck on dating sites. My kids are still with me but only half the time. Trying not to be lonely or depressed but it's a fight.

Hang in there and try to be happy.

Don't worry for every nut there is a bolt out there. just open your eyes she is there "lurking" around.

Multiple cat ownership beckons with that cheery outlook dude