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I recently joined a couple of other free dating sites, and I am quite open about being atheist. When someone looks appealing, of course I check out their profile. What do y'all think about my automatic deletion of anyone's message if their profile says "Christian", "Baptist", or whatever, under religious beliefs? Am I being intolerant, or just time-effective?

Wendy965 5 Aug 29
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84 comments (26 - 50)

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2

Time effective. Especially weeding out the Baptists.

1

I do too, but I know at least couple of friends who are Chatholics and they are truly good people. Liberation theology, I hope, is still a thing.

3

If their profile indicates they only want to date Christians, then certainly delete. If they say they are open to any belief
or non belief, I would suggest giving them a closer look. If
you are happy to just date with no particular interest in marriage, I would say go for it, regardless of their religious beliefs. Several years ago, I had a year long relationship with a Jesus freak, and it was great. We just agreed to side step religious discussion and focus on fun. I actually suspect that our different existential views may have heightened our sexual chemistry......at least in my kinky little mind.

0

Some people, very few, do not need you to reinforce their religious beliefs and there can be a compromise. I wouldn't call it intolerant but you might be passing up somebody with an open mind to you.

lerlo Level 8 Aug 30, 2018
1

In the vacuum of pure theory you might be a little prejudicial and short-sighted.

In the reality of our world, you're making the smart call in terms of probability. The odds of finding a religious person with whom a romantic relationship will be successful are pretty low. It's not impossible, but it'll be the exception more than the rule.

0

Same thing I do.

1

Saving yourself a lot of wasted time, I would say. Unless you're on the fence about what you believe and could entertain the idea is of faking belief for his family's sake, unless that person opens the subject in a positive way in the early interaction, say a sweet goodbye.

Not faking anything!! LMAO!!

1

If it's free, than why not. Be aware of dating sites that charge, you can end up paying for the same thing that you can get for free, I recommend "bumble" "tinder" for the best of the free sites, and "baddo" for chat and dating.

0

I think it’s very important to be straight forward and honest up front. I think what you’re doing is very practical. I see no problem. Welcome to the site!

2

"Christian" is a pretty broad label and doesn't necessarily mean "fundamentalist" or even particularly "believer". It may be more of a cultural association. So it could be needlessly limiting to auto-delete Christians. Baptists, yeah, go for it. That's a different story.

If you were in the Bible Belt then Christian almost = Baptist. In Colorado, it depends more on urban vs rural.

If you're meeting plenty of people I'd say don't change your strategy but if you want to stretch a little you might, who knows, find yourself a Episcopalian who is for all practical purposes an atheist who either doesn't know it or doesn't like the social approbation that goes with the label.

1

As many hovers as I show , compared to the number of actual visits , I'd have to say , most only stop in long enough to view my photo , then leave like a bat out of hell .

Their loss

3

I try to write my profile carefully, but I figure there are three things that hold guys back from contacting me: atheist, liberal, plus size... I can guess which one they have the most issue with, HA, but religion and politics are touchy subjects, too... 😉

1

If people of religion only want to date people of the same religion you should have our freedom not to date religious people.

2

Look, we all have things we find attractive, and things we find repulsive. We should not judge each other by what those things are, just accept that what some folks like or hate is going to be different than your likes or hates.
Some men love blondes. That's fine. Some women wouldn't date a short man. Also fine. I could not date a religious woman. I find that terribly unappealing. And that's fine, too.
I can't imagine why you would waste time considering someone you know you don't like. That makes no sense.

0

Nope not intolerant at all when you consider the tolerance level of theists out there.

1

I'm thinking some people put Christian, or whatever just because they were raised as such and haven't haven't thought about it for decades. But if I see 'the bible' in their favorite book section, that says volumes.

2

Not intolerant. Practical.

1

I am so happy that I don't have to date anymore.

BTW: when I first met my wife she identified as a christian and republican. She was like me, an ex-Catholic with major problems with the church. She was a member of some positive-thinking new agey church that was "christian" but... not really. She knew from the start that I identified as agnostic and that I hated ALL religions (more or less) equally. Religion is rarely an issue in our relationship and since we have been together she is much less christian and much less republican. Although, I give credit more to Donald Trump than to me for coming around to my point of view of vis a vis republicans.

1

Not at all. I used to do the same thing. No luck on dating sites.

1

If you intent to raise your kids atheist you should automatically delete them.

On my dating profiles I say I am atheist and that I don’t intend to have religion in my personal life.
There was this one time I was on a date with a guy and at the very end he said hey I am Christian is that a problem? This is a guy that had supposedly read my profile. I said no, but I intend to raise my kids atheist, is that a problem? He said no, we can still be friends.
The point of this story is that in some level there has to be shared values in a couple that isn’t as much of a requirement with friends. Both atheist and christians realize that. Even though that particular man had to be faced with a hypothetical scenario to realize it himself.

Myah Level 6 Aug 29, 2018

Friends and family vs a romantic partner, that's a big difference! We probably choose some of our friends as other atheists, but friends thru work and family could be either/or. I can nice if an extended family member wants to say grace before a meal, but I don't want to have to muffle my eye-rolling if a partner was to do the same.

1

I wouldn't even consider anyone who is religious.
I've been that way for decades, even before I knew I was agnostic because I found that religious men are typically undereducated, uninformed, non-curious about anything, low IQ, and misogynistic.

Especially when you see that their favorite/only book read was the Bible... really? The plot twists are inane, imagery is repetitive and violent (for something supposedly preaching 'love'😉, and as you mentioned, the biggest fans of this book aren't interested in reading anything else :/

3

LOL, I just remember filling out an e-harmony profile and stating my religious belief as "none" and got back "you have no matches". Well, allrightythen!

0

If you feel very strong about wanting to date someone who is not religious, then no! If you feel you would date someone who identifies as a Christian, but really does not practice their religion and it would probably not cause issues in your relationship, then it might be worth asking more questions. You can not see 'how religious' someone is from that one button they click.

Mart Level 4 Aug 29, 2018
0

I think you are saving you and them a headache.

0

Friends have told me nothing but horror stories, especially my female friends. Lots of lies. On the radio the other day, a survey found men on dating sites should say country music is their favorite and women, classic rock. Telling people to lie and deceive.

Any man who says he likes Gospel or country music gets deleted/blocked.

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