I'd like to follow-up to the brief comment I left last night. You're not being egotistical - what you're going through is quite normal. I can remember, as my two children matured, when I would storm out of my room to quiet a loud disagreement. I didn't care who was right - I just wanted silence. I was building my business and needed to focus. Today - I'd give anything to hear that noise. I have a 6900 sq. ft. house and it's silent - to the point of being deafening - except for the occasional bark from my dog. Back in the day, my children's friends were here and there was a lot of life - that's all gone. My first born married in 2016 and while she credits me for helping her to become a 21st. century woman - we don't talk as often as we once did. It's ode to my god - my husband Stephen. My role, my influence and my value was sidelined in what seemed like no time at all. At first, it bothered me - but not anymore. And while my daughter gifted the family with a beautiful grand baby - my first - this past March - my position hasn't changed - it's our time. In your case - it's your time. We did what was expected of us - my wife and I raised our kids to be decent people and we were there with them, side-by-side, through each tribulation. We abandoned grandiose dreams and aspirations because the kids came first and that required sacrifices that we didn't mind making. As a result, my kids are set - they're happy, making money, paying their way, enjoying life with their significant others and friends. I've officially retired from the daddy role until I'm called upon. And if that never happens - I'm OK with that too. It frees me up to experience new things. I love Iguanas - if I could afford it, I wouldn't hesitate to move to the Virgin Islands to experience seeing them in the wild. In addition, the climate would improve the medical issues that I have. I'd be thousands of miles away from my kids - but we have Skype. It's your time - do your thing - the past is the past - don't be depressed - embrace the freedom you've been given.

You're not being egotistical - what you're going through is completely normal. I'd like to touch base with you about this tomorrow - I just took my Melatonin and it's kicking in and I don't want to offer a response when I'm not all there lol.

Same here buddy....my old man went through the same as you have very well described and now it's our turn...... On top of that, Idon't have a dog. It sucks

This has happened to me on and off over my lifetime. Especially at times of rapid changes where more people were coming and going (mostly going), it leaves me very lonely and disoriented. Eventually I'll find new footing but it always takes time and patience.

No easy answer and from my similar experiences I'd hazard a guess that finding something to fill the void doesn't work so well. Joining a book reading circle or hiling club can't be expected to replace how you felt about your social niche within your family and regular people. The best I can deal with it is the way I see widowed people moving on. A new partner can never replace the old, and nobody would want or expect that. But new structures form that eventually become more important for the present and future, and they retain love and respect for the old situation. We can't force new changes like that, just as we can't get up one day and decide to go out the door and meet a new life partner. We can push ourselves in some kind of right direction and go with what comes of it. I'm reminded as I often am of the Lennon quote 'life is what happens while you're busy making other plans'.

EDIT: it's at times like these when it's clear how helpful it must be to have a God to fall back on, but at least there's a Dog

Please don't apologize for your feelings. (((( hugs ))))

No easy answer and from my similar experiences I'd hazard a guess that finding something to fill the void doesn't work so well. Joining a book reading circle or hiling club can't be expected to replace how you felt about your social niche within your family and regular people. The best I can deal with it is the way I see widowed people moving on. A new partner can never replace the old, and nobody would want or expect that. But new structures form that eventually become more important for the present and future, and they retain love and respect for the old situation. We can't force new changes like that, just as we can't get up one day and decide to go out the door and meet a new life partner. We can push ourselves in some kind of right direction and go with what comes of it. I'm reminded as I often am of the Lennon quote 'life is what happens while you're busy making other plans'.

Hi, you have been through some difficult things recently- I remember your post about your pal.
I want to tell you I really empathize. My only company is my cat. I am a extrovert at work and a huge introvert at home. I have colleagues, but I separate work and private life, so evenings, weekends and holidays are alone. My mum died 3 months ago, and I am thousands of miles from my home country, family and friends and they don’t even check in! Lol. I also have depression, so we have a few points in common.
I use this free app (photo) to try and make new friends, but often choose bed over actually going to these events. There is something for every interest, and I think if I actually attended any of the events I signed up to, I would probably have a bunch of good friends. I will go to an event if you do

So sorry to hear this! Depression can knock anyone down! I'll skip over the obvious (see your doctor...tell the truth) and move toward...volunteer outside your home in a place where you can see/hear/touch the people you serve! It's hard to be unhappy when you've given smiles and other things to those who need them.

GOOD LUCK!

I suspect this is common… It’s kicked the crap out of me.. and I no longer have a dog A sister once described the family homestead I had as “Our Kennedy Compound.” Acres of trees, trails, pond, fruit trees, privacy & adventure! The destination of our daughters friends ..several never wanted to leave. It turned a century farm on ‘my watch.’ I forget Oregon’s term for common property in a marriage, but the homestead was lost..

Had it not been for those daughters … this guy may have called it quits.. New place, new state ..and new friends, to the point I met one today while shopping 3 towns away. Check out “Loss of Core Identity.” And, consider your successes. It’s tuff to adjust one's thinking, but I try to view ‘all I did’ as having been successful. Sure, I miss it ..as stressful as it was. But at times, may be glad it’s over. ‘Kids’ are grown, I’ve ‘downsized,’ and, proved to myself, success was not a fluke. Maybe it’s our turn to sit back, give some advice, and watch life go on, having done our part ~

I hear you man. no apologies. though it is proper to grieve such a change perhaps, it may also be a time to cherish simplicity. a time to experiment or explore different things... the universe unfolding.... just a maybe man..

That sounds like a rough transition. Dogs are people too. You have time to focus on hobbies etc? You're part of a gang here anyhow, ragtag though we be.

I have thought about this kind of situation in the past. Say someone volunteers at a homeless shelter they do it to help other people which are beyond cool however their motivation is way more sinister than initially appears. They do it to obtain an emotional self-fulfilling chemical reaction (brain chemicals) and they never actually realize they are doing this.