I also feel isolated. I find it extremely difficult to find like minded people who I am able to have a connection with.

Volunteering works for me. I find causes that I love and give them each a few hours a week. I meet lots of like-minded people!

Music cuts through all that, I seem outgoing but internally I’m actually shy, as a guitarist that dissolves, I make friends with musicians easily, open mike nights, jams or even customers since I sell guitars for a living... I suppose you could do the same with other activities... go to a poetry night at a coffee house, painting class at an art studio, join a sports team. Whatever your thing is go where it’s done. I see no reason to involve a church. Go do what you like where other people that like it are doing it. If you lack any hobbies or interests get one

It is tough to make new friends as we age ..

Yes . I have days that literally not speaking to anyone , besides my dogs . My good friends do not live in my state . We text . Face time when times match . My coworkers all much younger than me , some religious some babies / husband , none of the above makes me hang around . Plus my employment is an hr away w traffic , the other side of the tunnel , no desire to have a drink w them and drive home afterwards . Churches meet up is not an option . I will probably kill someone after 5 mnt max interaction or they ll kill me . Too young to die ?
My gardening does not require friends , my volunteer time at shelters does not bring friends home , and talking to strangers in bars and restaurants is not my thing either . My neighboors are in their 80s and raising grandkids , not a single sport that I am good at , and yoga is laughable to me ( thought , how hard can be to just join one of this studios and stretch ), bcz they also preach a bunch of non sense spiritual bullshit that I have no desire for .
Isolation indeed . Not going to roll over and die thou. The beach is one street down my house , and my dogs and I visit often just to see humans without having to nurse them . I hop in my car and I hop in a plane often . It is what it is ?

I get all the community and connectedness I need right here.
I don't like people all that much, so I keep my real life connections
limited.
Being and feeling isolated has never really been that big of a problem for me.
I enjoy the peace and quiet.

Incredibly. I'm not sure. I've always been good at making acquaintances, but not necessarily friends. I'm in a incredibly religious and conservative part of the state. The closest I have made to "friends" has been the local bar and I don't really drink. (More of a social experiment than anything) I'm too opinionated and outspoken for most. And I'm not someone who opens up to many people. I've never been married and have no children. It makes me almost a pariah in a very small community who only trust what they know and understand.

I've had one close friend for most of my life. That friendship had to end so now I find myself lonely for a pal all too often.

One thing church has that we in less populated areas do not have is fellowship. I also have an insane schedule where I get up at 3am so am ready for bed when normal people are having dinner.

Sense of community is definitely a real benefit of church membership. This is something nonbelievers have sort of duplicated with something called "Sunday Assembly" in my area. If you have no outlet where you can meet people (besides as you are doing here, online), I agree it's very difficult to make connections. I suggest Googling "Sunday Assembly" and you might get a hit about one in your area. It might be called something different so SA is a "thing" so the chances are greater that's what you'll find, but do some research. Maybe check Meetup.com and search on Atheist meetup. I'm sure you'll find something with like-minded people in your area. You can also reach out to Agnostic.com people. I see around 20 on your profile who are at least in VA.

I agree that the social/community aspect of church is a factor that keeps a lot of people going. That is a real value they get from it, happily, that is not wholly exclusive to churches/religion. I hope this is helpful.

There have been studies to show exactly that. Unfortunately, I can't cite them (right now), but I read theories years ago that the agnostic/atheist population in the US was at least double what it's considered to be, and the vast majority of non-believers continue to attend church for the community.

It's one thing that kept me there for as long as it did.

I suggest to meet people through activities like sports clubs, cooking classes and charity activities.In my experience making friends as an adult typically involved having something in common as well as interest in making new friends. Here in the Seattle area I can say it seems easy to talk to people but hard to make real friends though. Everybody seems to have enough in themselves.

I have no idea where one goes to meet other human beings who are not entirely objectionable.

I just want to be left alone so I can finish reading a book. I’m a loner, but I don’t feel isolated.

Probably my mom told me to go to church to make friends when I moved to kansas. I told her I don't think that's a good idea lmao

I think the social aspect is definitely a factor for a lot of people involved in their church, for sure. And yes, I find it extremely difficult as an adult to make friends. I never had a problem when I was younger. I think most people my age (40s) already have established friendships and don’t really seek out new ones.

Meet up sounds great but volunteer organizations are always good as well. And, yes, I think churches and all religious organizations provide social connectedness that is the majority of the draw for a LOT of their congregants. I am retired and feel a bit isolated at times too.

The only truly good friend is within and at the same time hard to find. As far as external friends, it's all temporary and sooner or later things run their course.

Join something...or volunteer for a local charity. Nobody will come looking for you, you have to make an effort. No need to get involved in anything religious, plenty of hobby or interest groups unconnected to churches.

Not I. I love being with myself, or out in Nature with birds and animals. But I enjoy being with other people, also, or just doing my thing when around other people.

I can take people or leave them, but I always love being with my favorite person...ME.

Nawww. Platonic hugs in your direction. This is one of the posts that make me very glad I don't live in small town USA.

I think many of us contribute to our own isolation. We want to 'belong' in some sense but we also want to avoid the uncomfortable shit that goes along with that so we make excuses for not interacting. The result is lonliness. I note you enjoy the wilderness so at times you are content in your own company but your sense of belonging is not being fulfilled. I agree with the suggestions regarding creative people. At various times i have been a member of a poetry group, a community choir and a ukulele orchestra. Creative people are very inclusive and inviting. I personally have just had to admit i don't do people very well ?. Naturally introverted i have learnt interacting skills over the years that allow me to fufil my need to 'belong' when necessary. The church thing is i think for many just habit. There is nothing particulary community orientated about going to church. Most friendships are made in childhood. Adults don't make friends easily, we are too wary and judge too harshly. ?

I think I made most of my adult acquaintances because of my kids. Once your kids are older, it seems that work acquaintances are the bulk of the people you meet. Belonging to a church group is certainly a way to meet people. The problem with church groups, if you're not the church type ,is that you will meet lots of people that you don't have anything in common with. So that's seems to be a dead end. I think it's a sign of the age that technology has brought everything to us except someone to talk to. Getting out and involved with a civic or social cause would get like minded aquaintance but really the Wednesday night card games my parents and grandparents might be the thing to revive.

I completely agree with that. people find that soothing, if not uplifting, support from social gathering. I feel that the narrative they tell themselves about the religious aspect is that their intentions don't hurt anyone directly and they just feel good having that connection.

People like us tend to not have high population in close proximity to each other. Also, of the meet ups I've gone to, the conversation(s) rarely change.

I've joined an inventors forum in Costa Mesa, where amateur and professional inventors share invention ideas. Everyone signs non-disclosure/non-compete agreements before the meetings and there are patent attorneys, Engineers, Marketing specialists, etc.., and I find it a great place to think of how to solve big problems.

I do feel isolated, but at least I have a few friends. I'm working on more. I was also in an isolating, abusive relationship. It's a long path to recovery.

I wonder the same thing I'm no social butterfly but it seems like the only socializing anyone does anymore is social media and the idea of going to a church makes me nauseous I would rather argue with a toddler.