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If your pet could talk, what would it say to you?

StrongHappySilly 7 Oct 17
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2

Level 7

I used to have a cockatoo who expressed himself loudly and clearly...in English.

Btbd Level 7 Oct 17, 2018
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I'll see you one cockatoo and raise you an African Gray. We had both. The latter even invented her own compound all-purpose exclamation: GodShit. I guarantee you that a parrot will take the very occasional time you cuss and make people think you must curse like a sailor day and night. They latch onto words with strong emotional content.

Having a parrot is an interesting experience but I discourage people from indulging, they are wild animals and it's near impossible to provide them with the stimulation and environment they need. Both of ours ended up in a bird sanctuary with a giant aviary with a flock of other parrots of the same species ... I endowed them for life after my wife died and I could no longer care for them. They are better off there, and quit plucking their feathers, too. I visit them occasionally, and they remember me, in a glad-to-see-you, glad-to-see-you-go kind of way.

@mordant i think they'd say, "thank you for giving us up to a good home. We miss you, but thanks for visiting us!"

meet Bear - I have had him for just over 25 years. He was hatched April 13, 1993 - I got him June 1, 1993. He has been hiking in the Teton Mountains, lived in .CA, CO, OK, NC, TX, VA & WA - he loves car rides and playing in the yard. His vocabulary is probably around 200 words and believe it or not his only cuss word is the occasional 'shit' during football season... ?

@Heidi68 he's beautiful, my cockatoo only said mother f...er once, he thought I scolded him when he said it and I was egging him on.

@Heidi68

@StrongHappySilly that is one of the most kind things I've heard in a long time, tyvm.

@Btbd I wanted a cockatoo when we got Bear but my ex thought cockatoos were too girly..... I wouldn't trade Bear for a million bucks now but back in the day.....
6

Level 7

Why did you put this snow cone thing on my head? Stop laughing! Fuck you

6

Level 9

"Did I hear ham? I thought I heard ham. I could have sworn I heard ham.
See? Now I can smell it. I smell ham. Do you have ham for me?"

Btw, the pic is titled "Laci ham face".
I was making a sandwich and looked over to find her there, staring at me.

Sounds like we have the same dog!
6

Level 9

Have you seen my balls? Not those balls you idiot. MY BALLS!

How could you do this to me?! I thought we were friends!

6

Level 9

Feed me! That's all they want to do is eat!

5

Level 7

You're not my real father!

You... you... you mean i'm....adopted? Waaaaaaaa
4

Level 6

Cat: feedmeloveme feedmeloveme feedmeloveme
Me: You are getting petted, and you can't be hungry.
Cat: I want you to love me!! Put food in my bowl or you don't love me. Do it now!!
Me: Ok, but a just little and you had better eat it.
Cat: That is better. I'm taking a nap now, bye.
Me: You didn't eat it!
Cat: I feel loved, I'm good.
Me:
Cat: Don't go too far away. I'll want dinner soon.
Me: [points to dish with food]
Cat: Fresh food. That stuff is old now.
Me:
Cat: [soft snoring from the couch]
Me:

Holli Level 6 Oct 19, 2018
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Somehow i think the cat is in charge
4

Level 8

He would say "what is for breakfast/lunch/dinner today!"

LOL My floofy 'tater!

4

Level 7

"YOU try crapping in the snow!"

4

Level 7

I imagine this is 'Spot' on.

Yeah I love that cartoon, it's one of my favorite Gary Larson panels.

Hilarious!!!
4

Level 7

Feed me!

4

Level 4

She talks all the time. Sometimes by a bark or a whine. We're a pack and she knows I'm the alpha. I think she would say "I love you too."

4

Level 4

Did you bring us any worms?

I would keep your chickens away from away from @piratefish 's pet three comments above!

@StrongHappySilly lol yeah I'm guessing whatever he has would like my bunnies too.
4

Level 8

I love you. Now get out of my yard so I can DIG!

Beautiful dog! It sounds like he knows whose really in charge. LOL!
4

Level 9

Oh thank you so much. I love you too. ?

4

Level 7

This is my buddy. He's very quiet but would probably say pet me.

4

Level 8

If I had a pet, it would be asking for more food...again.

3

Level 7

"Slave, attend me at once."

Cats, you know.

3

Level 7

Today, I'm thankful for not speaking cat. I dropped her off at the vet's office to be boarded for 12 days. She was very unhappy with me.

Yeah maybe it's best we don't know exactly what's on her mind today

Wait til you pick the little shit up, she'll hold a grudge like a narcissist and let loose hell and damnation on you when you least expect it!
3

Level 7

Clean up my shit, slave.

3

Level 8

"You feed me, you house me, you walk me, you pay for my medical needs, you even pick up after me when I poo. Cuck, I OWN YOU!"

3

Level 6

Oh, you're the servant who feeds me, right? Why the heck are you in my spot on the bed?

Hordo Level 6 Oct 18, 2018
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3

Level 7

Feed me, pet me don't give me a bath

3

Level 7

Just an educated guess

3

Level 8

Ha Ha, I can lick places that you can't, loser.

Not that i haven't tried!
3

Level 9

Do u reeeeaaaallyyyy have to go to work ?? Stay stay stay stay stay ? " . That will be Mr Marcello

Can u move over your hip / head / thigh / neck / hair / face / toes / boobs pretty please ? I am trying to get comftable here ". Mr Diego

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