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Who Should Pay On The First Date?
Personally, I think each one should pay for their own meal and then go 50/50 on the tip.

SleeplessInTexas 8 Oct 20
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67 comments

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10

"I don't care, as long as there's beer." - Brett Kavanaugh

9

The reason I offer to pay my own meal on a first date (I ask for a separate tab) is because I don't think that it's fair to the man or woman if the date goes lousy that one gets stuck paying.

I would buy you dinner just for saying that. That's how i feel about it; it's a fair take because you are both trying to experience each other and for only one of you to have to pay is unfair.

Also, the split is a good idea because some guys are assholes and think that if they buy a woman dinner, she’s obligated to either kiss him, or something else. I’ve actually had arguments with guys during discussions who said: “If I throw down money for the evening and I don’t at least get a kiss, and some touchy-feely I’m gonna be PISSED!” I told them what assholes they were and an ugly argument ensued. ??

6

The person who invites the other out should expect to pay, unless it has been agreed upon otherwise. I think it's wise to have enough money on hand to assure one is never trapped or stranded.

Deb57 Level 8 Oct 21, 2018
6

My first dates are always lunch dates. I always offer to pick up my share, not a single gentleman has taken me up on it.

At least you offered to . Men love and respect that.?

6

If she wants any chance of getting in my pants she should pay and no cheaping out on the desert. Cheesecake WITH the fruit topping.

6

If I ask a woman out, I intend to pay — but if she prefers to pay for herself, I'm not going to insist. If she asks me out, I'll still try to pay, or at least split the bill, but I won't be rude about it if she wants to pay (though in that case I'll leave the tip and/or pay for something else during the evening).

5

Nonsense.
The gentleman should pick up the check and when paying, leave an appropriate tip. The whole exercise should be done with as little fanfare as possible.

@OwlInASack
Of course it's ok. The above is my opinion only.

5

It’s weird for a dude to say “okay, let’s split”. Or “I think we should split”. Or anything related to the money involved on the date. It seems like: a. you aren’t sure you want to meet the person again, so you are trying to minimize losses. b. The person isn’t interesting enough to justify a little money investment. c. You worry about money and are cheap.

5

I've always picked up the tab. If my date offers to split, I immediately ask her for a second date. ?

5

I am old fashioned but pragmatic too. You ladies spend a whole load of money looking good. Make-up, clothes, hair etc.and we are glad that you do. So it behoves us guys to foot the bill on a 1st date (no strings) but if the lady insists then dutch it is because it is always her choice that matters

4

If I’m asked on a date, I assume he is paying unless otherwise stated. After a first date I try to offer but I always feel really awkward about this.

I’m pretty traditional but I also don’t want to be rude or seem like I feel like I’m I am in some way entitled. I honestly don’t really know what to do.

4

That's a fine sentiment and perhaps its an age thing but older women (the majority) think they don't have to pay. To me it's a matter of consideration...a woman offering to split the bill usually is enough for me to pay the whole thing anyway unless she's a real pain then I let her pay her half.

lerlo Level 8 Oct 21, 2018
4

This is indeed circumstantial, BUT I think splitting the tab kind of gives the impression that you are both OK with being just friends .. since that's something I would expect to do with my friends.

So... If I go out with someone as friends a few times for coffee or a drink, happy to split and then when it's time for a "Real Date".....:

THEN ... I want to go out on a REAL First DATE.... with a guy that is interested enough in me to treat me special. It speaks well of what he thinks of you if he wants to do that ().

Exactly what I was thinking

4

Whomever asks should pay. I would always offer to pay half but no one has ever said yes to that.

4

I usually suggest a "coffee date" for a first date. Low risk, safe environment, and minimal expenditure for both parties.

4

I think that I agree with Matthew Hussey in the video below. My dating partners tend to offer to pay, and sometimes I thank them and sometimes I pay. If they insist on paying, I let them. I think that it is feels nicer to take turns paying than dividing up each bill 50/50.

4

The one who asked for the date should pay.

4

If I ask someone out, I go in with the expectation of paying. If I am asked out then I go in prepared to pay, but without the expectation of paying. Granted, when I was young the expectation (on a date) was that I asked, and I paid. I had a girlfriend basically insist on taking me out for lunch and... I over did it (it was just McDonalds)... which made me ponder my actions and why, and that redirected my thinking (I was in my 20s at the time).

For the record, I have no issue with going dutch. I have no issue with negotiating who will pay for what. If it is important to be even-steven with it all, then it IS important and I am ok with that.

Part of my base thought, though, is that if I ask someone out and we go to an expensive restaurant, that someone might not know how expensive said restaurant is, and thus I might be putting them in a position to be embarrassed. Thus, my preparedness to pay. In a similar fashion, if I go to a restaurant and they have a particularly good, old, vintage that I want to try, that might artificially run up the bill, I may lobby to have my drinks, if not THE drinks, put on a separate tab to be mine so as not to be overly burdensome to others.

I think I can net this out in a single word: respect.

3

I would never even think of having a woman pay on a first date.I would feel like a cheapskate . May be its old fashion but that's how I feel.

3

I'll make dinner. No tip required.

3

I paid every time and honestly I found this was the right thing to do because I was the one asking the person out so I was always sure I could pay for it. However now things are expensive and I am no longer a teenager lol

3

I think it would be appropriate for the one who asked the other out to pay.

3

A first date that involves meal time was never for me . A coffee date I find more safe ♥️

I don't ask women out unless I have known them socially for awhile. I am not going to waste my time on what would be like a blind date.

@Sticks48 I agree 100%. And it's not even about time , I have the time to waste , just not the desire . ♥️

@Pralina1 It is more about awkwardness for me. If it isn't comfortable, it is difficult being charming. 🙂

3

If you grew up dating in the 60's, it was an absolute necessity! If you let a new date pay, he expected a return, and they could get pretty pushy about it, too.
I still pay my way.......i say, "doesn't it make you feel good to know I want to be with you enough to foot the bill?"
Because some guys my age get all pissed-off if they aren't paying!!

I just commented on something to this effect. I’ve almost gotten into physical conflict after telling some guys what assholes they were being for thinking that. It’s unreal that guys actually think that way.??

3

I always offer to pay and usually do. If someone has an issue with that... They can certainly pay their share of they like.

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