Is virginity important for yourself as well, or only in a female sexual partner?

the only reason i can think of why a man would possibly want to marry a virgin, NOT related to custom or religion, is that he doesn't want her to have anything to compare him to. that sounds pretty insecure to me. i am not attacking you. i am telling you what i really think.

g

I'm pretty sure the Big Deal surrounding a woman's "viriginity" (more on that later) is a direct product of the effective breeding chattel slave-status of women from antiquated patriarchal systems : you need to make sure you're not supporting or leaving legacy to offspring that aren't yours, and the only way you can make sure a woman isn't already pregnant with another man's child when you marry her is if she's a "virgin". Fine, okay--as far as that goes.

But it breaks down immediately in that the "proofs" of virginity (e.g. hymen, bleeding, etc.) are nowhere near consistent --so you end up with marriages annulled and/or women killed, because she didn't have a hymen or bleed on her wedding night--even though it was true she'd never had sex before--she just didn't have a hymen or whatever, totally naturally, through no fault of her own.

And it completely falls apart in the modern age, with birth control --heck, even with just knowledge of how babies are made ("pull-out method", anyone?)--and with "women's lib" and the "sexual revolution" : no longer does anyone, male or female, have to worry about making a kid they'd rather not, and attitudes about people--especially women--having sex are radically different these days.

With all that, why care if a woman has had sex before marriage? Of course there are religious hold-outs. But if you're not religious, what's the hang-up? Is a man's sexual experience with a woman lessened by her previous sexual experiences with other men? Don't go to incel chatrooms looking for the answer to that one. I'd stick with credentialed experts, i.e. psychologists and sex therapists.

From my own experience, I can say that my attitude, confidence, and capacities to give and receive sexual, mental, and emotional pleasure have only improved, by whatever degree, with each partner I've had. I've learned about what I like and don't like, I've learned about what others like and don't like, I've picked up tricks and techniques, tried new things, etc.

I think the strong negative reaction from women is because they probably don't like to be reminded that a) women were once basically sex and breeding slaves b) women once had no respect or autonomy as sexual beings and c) some people seem to prefer those elements of the past. Most of us don't want to go back in that box.

Having said all that, I don't have a problrm with what you prefer, as long ad you're not forcing or shaming anyone. There are some women (and men) who prefer to "save themselves for marriage", for whatever reason, still today. And that's fine. You do you, and best of luck.

"When I talk about this face to face with females I get attacked... Usually ganged up on..."
??

Are you a virgin? ?

"I'd like to have a logical discussion about this".

I'd like to have a logical discussion about how many degrees of separation I was to fucking Fred Rogers when he was alive and why that never happened and what I could have done to change that. ??

Look, you're in Texas. I've very little sympathy for incel men in that area, with the exception of those seeking an agnostic/atheist woman.
You know why? The odds are ever in your favor ratio wise with quality women vs available, viable men, and if they're not you need to look at yourself real hard.

Glanced at some of your other posts and you are very whiny.

I think you're more likely to find someone pretending to be a virgin, either mentally glitched or happenstance like a unicorn in the middle of an oasis. But it being Texas and the circumstances above, maybe your chances are better.

This topic makes me stabby.

Why would want a virgin at anything? We have a virgin president and it's horrible.

Okay...

30 years old - Check

Has "Don Juan" in his name and wants to marry a virgin - Check

Why do you want a virgin? What if you find out later she's got some weird hangup with sex? You gonna live with that or take her back to the store for a refund?

If you want a logical discussion you need to be logical about it!

How stupid are you? I would say pretty darn stupid.

I could see it if you were an 18 to 20 year old. Once you're past that age, you're not highly likely to meet a virgin. Maybe you could search for your mythical virgin on a religious dating site?

How stupid? On a scale of 1 - 10, with 10 being the most stupid, I would say about a 7. I won't attempt to answer for the ladies on here, since they have minds of their own. The question I have, is why do you want to marry a virgin? If you want a logical discussion, I need to know the reason.

As the old saying goes; " Virginity is like a balloon, ONE prick and it's gone forever."

There's a whole line of BS in the evangelical world about how "promiscuity" ruins the "spirituality" and "sanctity" of sex. That it ruins the "specialness" somehow. That it "cheapens" the experience / value of the act.

That's wrong on so many levels it's hard to know where to start.

It conflates indiscriminate sex with serial monogamy, for one thing.

It fails to explain how, if marrying a non-virgin is a problem, how staying married to a non-virgin is a not a problem. Because you're only a virgin once. Literally.

What it really is pushing is the notion that a woman belongs to her husband, her husband only, and her husband forever. I suggest you examine your innermost feelings to understand whether this is so, and if so, what your motivation and attraction to it actually is. Without the BS answer that you're obeying god, too.

As someone else pointed out, another possible motivation for this concern is the desire to have a partner who can't possibly compare you unfavorably with other men. But unless this woman was also raised under a rock, without TV or movies or pop culture of any kind, she already has expectations that you can fall short of. She may be short on specifics or practical experience, but she damn well expects you to send her over the moon and to make her feel sexy, satisfied, horny, transcendent, godly or whatever. And the first time she feels bored, lonely, tired, or uninspired, she can potentially blame that on you. So there's no escaping that you're going to marry a flawed human being with her own unique set of proclivities, neuroses, hang ups, hot buttons, virtues and vices, and you're going to have to deal with that. There's no way a woman can sustainably be at your personal disposal to swoon on command. That's not the way the Real World works.

If you want a virgin - you had best be one yourself . Two explorers on a new planet ...

Well.it screams toxic insecurity and a desire for control of your partner. I worry for any woman who does get involved with you. You sound like a control freak creep.

You should choose a partner based on the important things that you share, such as your likes and dislikes. When you enter into a relationship, you will know how trivial such things are, but being OCD about nothing will never make you an appealing partner for anyone.

you lost me at virgin and killed me at pastor.
Your question will not trip anybody on this site in logical fallacy. Your question is idiotic and demonstrates your lack of respect for the equality of both (every) gender.
I dare you to meet and marry a woman that has had twice the amount of partners and sex than you just to show you some humility.

Every time you bring this up to a woman you will get attacked and you might as well expect it. We are more than baby making factories or a vagina. We are living, breathing humans able to choose our own destiny.
Whether a woman is a virgin or not is simply non of your business.
Your answer below and your profile demonstrates you have no respect for women at all. You are not ready nor deserving of a partner at this time. Grow up!

Men who want virgins are scared they won’t measure up to what she’s had in the past.

My guess is you have a micro-dick and need someone who you can convince that it’s normal sized.

????

PS. You’re an asshole.

Wow.
I'm glad I took a day off to let this chat room roll.
I never understood why some people get so upset about this... Especially the ones that make it clear they already found me unappealing.

Thank you all for your answers... Even the ones who called me names and made strong, negative assumptions.

I believe marriage should be about children... also women get sexually imprinted... Not just that men sexually imprint... I.e. women are more prone to sexual and social conditioning...

Let's not even talk about the children, nobody mentioned children in the comments... Lets focus on sex.

It's 2018. I've seen porn. Most of it is very disturbing to me. I don't understand money shots and I don't want to.
What if this non virgin has sex tapes? Or herpes? Or the need to punch during sex?
Yes, I am guilty as charged when someone called me an anachronism. I actually had to look that up. A fancy way of calling me conservative in a not so nice way. Nice. I'm going to use that on my buddies that make me look like Barry O.

I also consider myself somewhat of a feminist... I'm even worse than a "Texas incel" (really?) I'm a male feminist.

If a woman is into bdsm, I can't do that. I might try to walk on that side years into a marriage... But if she's already into that, she will cheat or settle and be un satisfied. Say what you want, but I don't want to do anal or have it done to me... I know... Try it, I might like it. I also might like crack or molly or perk. I hear opiods are the greatest feeling in the world. I'd rather not. I'm not the biggest prude ever, but I've been around.

As mentioned above, women get sexually conditioned, DonJuan was the greatest lover of all time, not the Ron Jeremy of the time.

What if shes asexual?
In a marriage, well both have periods of asexuality... Will it lead to affairs or working through it together?

You have to be careful, women will try to sodomize you. Sometimes because her friends or some magazine told her too... Or maybe Freud was right, and some women suffer from penis envy... Maybe some women have had such horrible previous experinces with men they are misanthropic and want thier turn to be piggish since white men ran amuck from the viking era until 7:15 am last Thursday.

Maybe I'd not like to have to pay for abuse my future wife jumped in bed with in highschool, or even worse, gulp, college.

I've never even bought a woman drinks at a bar to try to loosen her up...
I'm a gentleman.
I don't want our first time to be impared.

I don't want to be accused of creeping around if she doesn't want to go on all my adventures with me.

I can't believe some of the accusations thrown at me because of my question here.

This is the same reaction I got at religious schools. They have an excuse for being so venomous we were children. Possibly crushing on each other. They knew me personally. Why are a bunch of strangers who are supposed to be free thinkers suggesting i want to abuse young girls and force to make me a turkey sandwich?
I called myself stupid in the question, so I am inviting criticism, but a lot of you are being very prejudice in calling me and my prejudice arrogance out.
Turkey sandwich?
As you mentioned... I'm in Texas... We don't eat that pussy shit... She better make me a rare steak????

But seriously, I do actually know some good traditional women... You have no idea how offended we are when you talk about them like they are stupid slaves who are not maling thier own chices.

How dare you? Texas is still 21st century America, and you best believe we know what freedom feels like.

We have NASA golldarnet.
TF u got?

No comment...

I Fear NO such a thing under 12 years old, No disrespect intended to Any One