Her choice. She'll be the one with regrets.
Do not give in to emotional blackmail and compromise your principles.

You have the right to a non religious ceremony and she has the right not to come.

You can say you'd like her there, but you'll respect her decision. This will tell her that no bags will be packed to go on her guilt trip.

My humble opinion is that if you aren't ready to stand up to mom and make your own decisions, you're not ready to get married. Time to tell mama that you are your own person and if she doesn't come you'll miss her, (and if she gives you any more grief she will not be invited over to see the babies when/if any arrive.) Your mom is using emotional blackmail, I think it is despicable, and the only way to end it is to stand your ground.

Don't fall for the guilt trip. I did for all my life. I still am. If you give in to her you will for the rest of your life, or her life. It really sucks.

Emotional blackmail. "grow up Mom"

It's YOUR wedding. Period.

Holding to your identity is not always easy but very necessary for your happiness and your health. Your Mom had a religious wedding ceremony because that was her choice and her identity. Now she wants to incur on your identity. We only get one identity. She is not entitled to have hers AND yours and you need yours. If you accede to her inappropriate demand you will always regret it. She is loved and invited. You both know that. She will have to live with her choice not to come to your wedding.

Wow. Invite some Satanists to bless the ceremony then it'll technically be religious.

Tell her it is your wedding. You want her there but if she can not come with good grace and be happy for you then you understand and you will send pictures

Have the wedding you want. Make a video. Send it to her. Enjoy your life.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you what to do...even me. Your life, your rules, your decision on when to compromise. No other fucks should be given.

It's your day, not hers. Enjoy it, and congrats. Being in love rocks.

When I got married, no one except my then fiancé, myself and the JP was present. The only people that needed to be. It was short, simple, and private.

I didn't want to give ANYONE any opportunity to approve or disapprove my marriage.

We didn't tell anyone we got married until they asked us.

And if I get married again, that's how it's going to be: just me, him, the judge and court folks. No one else.

Even when my ex-husband and I got a divorce, no one found out until 3 to 5 years later. Why? Because it's no one's business.

Less drama, gossip, and interference.

My response would be something along these lines:

"Mom, this is my wedding and my life. If you don't want to be part of it, I'll be sad but that's your prerogative. I hope you'll reconsider, but this day is about me and my future spouse and the life we're starting together. We want you to feel that you're a part of that, but it's not your day and it's not your marriage, and it's up to us how we live our life. The only person keeping you from attending our wedding is you."

Sorry to hear that. I would tell mum that she will be sorry for the rest of her life is she doesn't attend but you will still love her and you love to have her there. And leave it at that.

My in-laws refused to come to mine - because they thought I was unworthy of their daughter. After the first child her mother started to sneak round to the house to see the baby when I was out at work. That was the thin end of the wedge. Eventually I was accepted and they often said how much they regretted staying away.
So never fear, at the first sign of a baby, your mother will relent - but watch out for baptism loggerheads!

I'm sorry she's doing that. I hope it all works out for you.

Her loss.

Wow. Sad. She'd prefer sham lip service that doesn't threaten her tenously held beliefs it seems. You've made your choice. Possibly one day she'll regret hers.

Tell her that it’s her choice, and that the only one who will be full of regrets afterwards will be her. It’s your wedding and therefore your choice of ceremony.

I’m sorry, that really sucks. I assume you aren’t planning to hail satan or barbecue babies, so “non-religious” should be pretty inoffensive.
More importantly, that is really selfish and manipulative and it SUCKS.

Her loss...

I’m so sorry. I hope she does come. My mother didn’t come to my wedding because she did not approve of my fiancé. (She never approved of any woman I dated and those she would have approved I was not crazy enough to date.)

If she does not come, it’s a regret that will hang over you and your marriage until she apologizes. Talk to your father or a friend she trusts or even her minister. Hopefully, she can be convinced that this is about you and your bride, not about her religious views. Perhaps they can explain that her intransigence is a hurtful rejection of you and your bride and is the result of stubborn pride on her part. Perhaps, too, they can explain the Christianity requires she love you and, to show that love, she needs to be willing to support you at your wedding despite her objections. Too, by not going, she will look bad in front of everyone that does go.

Good luck.

Sad. I feel for you. Make her understand how much you want her to be there and maybe she'll come around. Way back I introduced my college roomie to a woman I worked with and they hit it off instantly, were engaged in 4 months and her parents were going to disown her for marrying a Lutheran. They broke up. PLEASE don't let your mom mess up your relationship. Good luck!

I am sorry she feels that way. Congratulations on your pending wedding.

It sounds like your mother is trying to manipulate you. It is your wedding do what you want and don’t worry about the people who want you to do your wedding their way.

It’s her loss.

Weddings were not always religious. The church did not take over weddings until the early middle ages. Look it up and show it to mom.