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There have been a few questions about how to handle door-to-door god solicitors....this is how I handled mine today.
"knock knock"
Yes?
Hi! We'd like to talk to you about some good news! We see you probably are busy (I'm in my robe and hair wrap), so we'll leave you alone.
Thanks.
But we can come back!
Please don't. I'm atheist and prefer you don't come back.
Okay, we'll make note of it.

See? Quick, painless, and not a bit hostile or disrespectful. The icing on the cake? I live across from my apartment building's office. Just as I was about to call about the solicitation policy, the manager and assistant manager come out, and very nicely let them know they can't solicit. She even gives them a business card! It was classy!!

AzVixen52 7 Apr 24

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26 comments

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9

Painted on the floor of my porch in front of my door.
It’s multi purpose.

Does it mean anything or is it just something to scare the bible thumpers?

@dkp93 demon trap

8

The sign on my door that I am looking for my next sacrificial offering to the pagan gods, please apply within, usually stops them....

I have a 12in x 4in cartouche of my last name on my door...….that's all I can handle.

@AzVixen52 That works!

6

I've never been too concerned with solicitors, and I'll engage anyone in conversation if I have the time. But, if I were the devious sort, I'd consider excitedly greeting them, telling them that I'm glad they're here and inviting them inside, and then follow up with, "Have you heard the good news about our Dark Lord, Satan? I've been praying to his unholiness to send me some souls to, uh… convert. And here you are!" Keeping a cheery smile on my face the entire time.

6

If I answer the door, I just cut them off & say "No thank you." & close the door. I do the same for salespeople.

Della Level 6 Apr 24, 2019
5

A little bit:

Jacar Level 8 Apr 25, 2019

I laughed so hard I almost fell off my bed

5

Once I opened my door naked. It worked!

zesty Level 7 Apr 25, 2019

Did you get a date out of it? 😛

@resserts I'm not that desperate!

5

Way to go! I sometimes allow them to speak, but I demand evidence for what they claim to be the truth. That sometimes baffles them to the point that they just give up and go away. My hope is that it plants a seed of intelligence that may cause them to start thinking and give up on their baseless fairy tales.

Yes, to believe something on evidence is not the way of religion. Only true with every other aspect of our life's.

4

Well, with god solicitors (I LOVE that term!), I usually ask them if they wish to offer their servitude to the Light Bringer.

If they don't get it, I say that only the light bringer can bring light into their lives, and ask them to seek the true name of the light bringer!

For some reason, they never return.

4

i always try to be courteous with them & refrain from telling them how deluded they are.

3

I have a "No Solicitation" sign on my door but when it's ignored - my attitude is then based on theirs. There's an old say - my personality is who I am - my attitude is based on who you are. I hired a JW and I'm thankful for it because we had many great conversations. I remember a team of JW's came to the house some time ago and because their approach was respectful - we had a great conversation for a couple of hours while enjoying the GA sun and cold glasses of ice-tea. I'm not threatened by them and I don't feel that being a jerk to them makes me superior - in fact, the opposite is true.

You are kind...I wouldn't have the time or patience for a 2 hour encounter.

3

Put a sign outside your door "cold callers will be composted"

THAT'S funny! I've been here for 4 years, and this is a first.

@AzVixen52 Of course if you don't have a garden it could be a bit creepy

3

I've not had reason to be hostile to knockers, IMO it would make me look bad, and none have pushed the topic. I do say have a nice day and may your god go with you.

Being old, I frequently take naps. If someone bangs on my door, I have good reason to be hostile towards them...they were NOT invited to disturb my privacy.

2

Sometimes its more fun to let them in, if you've got the time. If you don't want them in your house, get out a few lawn chairs and debate them. I haven't had a visit from a Mormon or Jehovah's Witness in 6 years... although the Mormons did take 7 visits to get rid of. Job done.

2

I live in the most religious state. I get repeat offenders no matter what I say or how nice I am. They don't respect boundaries.

2

My response is, "im an atheist, no give the brochure to someone else, have a lovely day, goodbye and gently close and lock the door. My last look at them with their mouths agape.

2

Treating people with kindness & respect; can’t go wrong there.

2

"I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds," I tell Jehovah's Witnesses. While they puzzle, I say goodbye and close the door.

"We are all atheists here," I announce, waving my arm grandly to include the entire neighborhood.

They don't bother me anymore.

2

I wonder, has anyone ever rejected their existing religion and embraced Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormon’s spin on things just because they show up at one’s front door? Has an atheist ever reached a religious epiphany and abandoned logic & reason simply because they interrupted one’s morning? I suppose if they rang a doorbell just before a person was about to commit suicide, they might acquire another convert. But for me, these people are as welcome at my front door as a robocall is regarding my health insurance or vehicle’s extended warranty is on my phone.

As a former Mormon, yes, some people have converted via door knocking. It's quite rare, though, and considered the least effective form of soliciting new members. However, I guess they need to keep the missionaries busy doing something.

2

I like talking to them. I really do wish more would come to my door.

I talk with them about the problem of evil, I ask them about the she-bear story, about their god "hardening" Pharaohs heart, about slavery being condoned in their book, how I'm a more loving father than their god (because if my kids rejected me I would be sad but I wouldn't condemn them to an eternity of torture).

My favorite is: I ask them if their god is omniscient (yes), so he knows the future (yes), so what's the point of prayer or worship, the future is already set. They balk at that. I explain that if an infallible being knows the future, then the future is already set. I get a lot of weird responses like "well God could know the future, but he chooses not to"... 1) where in your holy book did you find that and 2) if the future can be known by an infallible being, it is still set. Another response i get is "God knows all possible futures "...knowing all possibilities, is knowing nothing. Pick a number from 1 to a million and I'll guess your number. ....you picked....a number between 1 and a million...see I know all possibilities....i'm just as good as your god.

I figure that I have a greater chance of making one of them think than they have of converting me back (been there, done that, no going back unless I see some serious evidence)

I keep it light and friendly, but they usually don't stay as long as I'd like.

2

I had one duo ask me if I had found Jesus, I replied I would look as I didn’t know he was missing and closed the door.

2

Where's the fun in that?

I tell them that I don't need their religion because I talk to God personally. I'm not above quoting personal conversations with God to drive the point home. Oddly, I never have return visitors. You'd think they'd be glad to know someone who talks to God personally....?

I don't need to add any "fun" to the situation. Being the better human is all the satisfaction I need.

@AzVixen52 I bet you're a riot at parties too.

2

I am always courteous and say no thank you. However every once in a while there are a few of them that just refuses to go away, and keeps yelling about God after I close the door. That is when I tell ask for explanations about the killing of women and children on god's command in the bible. I have several other bible verses that they just cannot explain. When I star using scientific terms and facts usually they give up. But there is always one person that I have to be an mean in order to make tht person go away.

I don't know enough about that work of fiction (bible) to quote it, so I just ask them to leave...…..or tell them I'm busy sacrificing a chicken.

1

Call me chicken, if you must, but I usually just pretend I'm on my phone, or start to vacumm. I reside in a smaller size town in the South, where Religion is sort of pushed on you and I don't need the trouble,nor do I need to explain myself in any way to others. I put a "No Solicitors sign on my door, which hasn't helped yet.

I have my own sign to 'deter' door-knocking God-Botherers and for the most part it works well, especially the bit that proclaims very clearly that a Fee of $50.00 per minute WILL be charged and MUST be paid in Advance.

1

So I was raised a Jehova's Witness...I hated the door to door thing and had some very mean people answer the door...

That in mind..If I have the time to kill I usually invite em in for a chat...I usually have a copy of the bible close at hand so it's a good opportunity to make them question their faith and is a great way for me to re-evaluate mine.

0

Fun to play with the cultists. But, how can we save them? What can be said to them given they have been conditioned to know satan when they see him?

Jacar Level 8 May 4, 2019
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