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Have you ever been overcome by emotion in a professional setting?
I have three bosses in the chain of command above me where I work. Today was my performance review. Two of those bosses were there for that review. I'm known for wise cracking and keeping a sort of harsh edge in my dealings with people. I expected that to be an issue but it wasn't.
My review went well, it was a good thing, but when they asked me what they could do better I started listing off all the great things that they had done for me and the gratitude overwhelmed me and I started crying.
I felt so stupid. It took like a minute to pull myself together. They explained that they couldn't give me the raise I deserved but did give a small one to let me know that they appreciated my efforts.
I hate it when my emotions well up like that, it's the only down side of an otherwise stellar day.

Novelty 8 Apr 24
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17 comments

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0

My emotions tend toward rage. Verbal combat commenced when some nit wit "boss" dare challenge my stellar record. I am still here. They are not.

0

It happens enjoy what you got

bobwjr Level 10 Apr 26, 2019
0

All of your feelings are okay. Congratulations for getting a small raise!

0

I broke down into a sobbing mess at work with the principal. She sent me home for the rest of the day.

3

We should really stop treating “emotional” like it’s a negative trait.

1

I have been managed and I also manage others and in most of American society. Specifically, corporate cultures are based on fear, on a point of view that what you do is never enough. Each and every interview, review, and direction is what you are "Not". The true mark of a leader is if they not only identify your "faults". But also detail what they or another member (and of course yourself) could do to improve, grow, and advance. I always appreciate acknowledgment from managers and peers and also being in the owner/manager role also give and encourage my charges to do the same. It is part of supporting and empowering each other.

Being overwhelmed with emotion is at least a indication that you are empathic. It could also be an indication that being given complements, being shown appreciation for how awesome you are is few and far between in your life right now.

Being show gratitude infrequently could mean you've not "grown" a tolerance to accepting and responding "professionally". Your emotional aspect of your psyche may have bubbled too close to the surface. Generally when dealing with any work based actively I try to keep a level of objective emotional separation. I play a face, which is professional, curious, and polite but not my real me. And I react by not reacting, having a cool head, laughing where it seems appropriate, and listening and responding in a thoughtful manner.

In regards you your emotional response and not getting a bonus or raise. This experience can also be used to emotionally placate you. Perhaps they truly appreciate your contributions, your critical eye, and the work you are doing. But are not able, or not willing to increase your compensation for the contribute you give.

Depending on how often you get reviews or formal "state of the union" reviews. Be concerned with this same technique is used in your next review as well. If given an opportunity to ask questions you should consider a line of questions like the following:

What techniques, skills, or responsibilities could I taken on which would be a path to getting a compensation increase?

If I were to take on the additional roles and responsibilities have it documented that upon a review with a hard date for review and awarding of an increase of compensation. That you would agree to take on the tasks and if warranted request a mentor or peer if it requires new skills or procedures that you've not been trained on or are not documented.

Not to open a pandora's box but you could also go onto sites like glassdoor.com and salary.com to run reports nationally or regionally in your area and match up your experience, education, and title/role to see what others may be getting paid for what you do.

This may be information that would drive you to want to request a compensation increase or consider looking for a lateral or upward move.

I'd only consider this if you started to ask for new roles and responsibilities and within a year no increase in your compensation followed suit. .. it would mean to me that you're more desirable because of the new responsibilities and another employer may desire that new skill.

Appreciate the love, but stay real.
You are giving every second of your life to an employer and you deserve to be acknowledged and compensated for the seconds of your life you give.

1

I run a boarding kennels, and many of the dogs and cats that stay here are as much personal friends as some owners, so it does get emotional quite often
Tuesday 8.15am I had to say goodbye to a GSD patrol dog, who has been a favoutite, but with age had developed spinal and hip problems that were causing him pain - he was put to sleep in the arms of his handler later that day.
Tuesday 4pm had to take two little terriers home to see their mum, who I have known for years, and was in bed with pneumonia. She wanted to see the dogs, and me, before the ambulance took her to hospital. The dogs jumped onto the bed and cuddled, I gave her a hug and told her not to worry about the dogs and to call me when she got home - she smiled and I think she knew that wasn't going to happen. She died the following morning.
That is just a day, not normal, not exceptional - and yes it does get very emotional sometimes

1

Congratulations! Even as I retire, I never regretted letting my emotions out at appropriate times in the workplace...it made my workplace more enjoyable and working around people at least pleasant. I certainly hope the days of keeping it all in, when work is such a big chunk of our lives, is over...as a boss, I appreciate employees expressing themselves as long as it is genuine and not used to manipulate or hurt anyone...

Seems like you found a nice fit for yourself...work hard and keep it up...treat yourself to something nice...

0

Congratulations

0

You got the promotion correct?

@Novelty as much work as you are putting in and as much as they value you as an employee ( and they do seem to) from what your saying.

@Novelty maybe there might be one for you in the near future.

2

I heard something that i really liked the other day, here it is... great movies don't make you cry, great movies LET you cry.

2

I think you handled that pretty well. People appreciate sincere gratitude. Even with tears.

1

emotions are good. if you've been avoiding them, this was a good chance to stop doing that destructive thing. you don't have to emote all over the place; floods cause mudslides! but a little boohoo now and again is a damned good thing.

g

Emotions can be a double edged sword in that regard I guess it’s how we manage them ( not implying anything here) in a generalized way and definitely not saying you didn’t handle it spot on ( which you did)

@AJimboShep82 which novelty did, not me lol. but yeah.

g

1

Well done.

0

Sometimes it's a good thing to let the emotions go, after all we are all human. Keeping everything in all the time isnt the best of things. Congratulations on the positive Review

0

Firstly, well fucking done, m'lady. I'm sure you deserved every bit of positive feedback - you strike me as one clever cookie.
Secondly, don't be too hard on yourself. You got blindsided, albeit in a very positive way. You'd probably girded your loins in preparation for a more gruelling experience, and when the opposite occurred your guard was down.
Anyway, congrats!

0

It's a stellar day, sounds to me like you aced it. Having a brief moment of emotion related to gratitude will appear genuine no more no less.

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