Men find it hard to connect with plus-size women in the same way that women don't seem attracted to short men what is wrong with this society regulated preference? ...and be honest.
Update: Did I hit a nerve? I was only exploring societal norms? Should physical appearance be as important as society seems to imply? Yes some preference is genetically imprinted - but it is still the old nurture vs nature conundrum? Individual tastes do vary and whatever trips your trigger is fine with me - yet there is a reason some women get Boob-jobs, men wear toupees and why Playboy magazine and the original James Bond movies were so popular. Sean Connery was voted the sexiest man alive and he wore a hair piece in all of his Bond movies. I did find responses people wrote are very interesting...
Idk about other women and the height thing but men DEFINITELY have an issue with women who are bigger than ideal. Is it about personal preference ? Sure bit when dudes are like 300 lbs hairy af and can barely put on deodorant much less make any effort with themselves and they expect women to be slim and have perfect make-up that doesnt look like make-up at all times and our boobs must be gravity defying in a way that only a surgeon can give etc, etc, etc.... I am frankly shocked that my fellow women haven't told men to go fuck themselves en masse and let the human race die off.
Personally I have come to a point where I cannot stand the expectations and entitlement of your average straight white dude anymore. They start expounding on their opinions on how everyone else should be and I just want to stab em in the tongue. I know damn well I'm not the only one sick of that shit. So I mostly avoid that type of person now. I want nothing to do with them.
We are constantly bombarded by what is suppose to be attractive to the opposite sex. In reality, all bets are off. We are constantly adding and editing to what we find attractive as we move through cycles of life...perhaps part of it is still biological, with women who want children looking for specific genetic characteristics, height , eye color, etc. We might be in a phase of our lives where health is more important so athletic characteristics are desirable. We might have prior bad experiences that turns away from certain traits like obesity, age, baldness, etc. It could a certain body type reminds you of your mother, teacher, priest, etc.
I, personally, have dated short men and found them to be excellent friends and lovers. I am 5'7' and have dated men a few inches shorter than me or at least of equal height. I have been very thin and very plump and have been loved by men at all those sizes...
I go by the adage: there is a lid for every pot...there is no standard preference, just our own personal ones...
People are attracted to who they are attracted to, period. No one has ever talked me into who I find attractive. That is such bullshit. I see men with plus-size women all of the time. People complaining about this sort of thing are generally pissed off because the person they are really attracted to isn't attracted to them. It is like when I have had women friends who say they can't get laid. Of course most can. What they mean is they can't get laid by the person they want. When a man says he can't get laid, he really can't get laid, by anyone.
I agree with Sticks. Attraction is a very personal thing. I've seen combinations that are all over the map. And yeah, isn't it interesting how we want who we want and are offended if that person doesn't reciprocate but yet we turn others aside all the time with little thought about it.
Good grief. I don'ty follow rules like that. I wish i had created a chart of boys and men I was in love with, classified by height . I could have given you hard data. Instead I have tell you stories from my life.
i remember the first one, Jimmy ( not his real name) He looked like James Dean in miniature. He was on the bus I had to take to school. He got out at one of the factories where he worked. I think i was 12. I know he was shorter than I , but what the hell,. He grew everytime i looked at hiim. Jimmy!
He started pursuing me in a serious way when I was 14. He creeped my out. I did not want to be pursued. So, he became history, and I watched Rebel without a Cause six times in a row.
Just trying to think back on men and height does not bring to mind a pattern. The most cruel and vicious man in my life was a 6'4" mama's boy-physically absolutely "my type" (Viking) We were married four years.
I could go on and on, but there is no point. I do not oblige society's expectations, neither here or in Germany. Men who wanted to pursue me had better sharpened their wit. Smart and erudite is sexy and adds inches to your height or takes them off your girth.
I can only speak for myself and say that although I’m only 5ft 5, I have always been drawn to tall men...over 6ft by preference. I don’t think it’s because it’s a societal preference....it seems to be innate and probably instinctive for the female to choose the strongest looking mate to protect and provide, and produce healthy progeny. Plus-size women are a different case altogether because it has only become fashionable in the western world to be slim, and for men to prefer slimmer women in relatively recent times. Rubenesque proportions were quite normal, and desirable in women in earlier times, as witnessed in the paintings and poetry the old masters. In certain communities in less developed parts of the world it is still considered desirable for women to be more generously endowed.
There are evolutionary reasons. Back in the cave, women needed a protector, for them and their kids and so it was usually the biggest meanest motherfucker of them all that was most attractive. lol perhaps I exaggerate but you get my meaning. I no longer need a Neanderthal and prefer someone witty.
As for women, I suspect there has been a preference for what is seen as fertile ie boobs and hips. Although perhaps women's attractiveness is shaped more by social media these days. I was reminded of this article.
The issue is NOT actual height or weight. It's what that identity does to ones confidence. I once dated a man 3 inches shorter than me, and his personality made me melt. Our society beats down short men and plus size women. If they can over come that, they can be as sexy as hell.
Humans being what they are, preferences regarding attraction are all over the map !
I was told by one gentleman a while back, that I was too small for his liking, and that he favored big women with "extra meat". And I worked with someone - a likeable, skinny fella, that said he was seeking a very big woman so he could get "lost" in her folds !
Ya just gotta find the right "fit" - no matter what it might be.
There are some guys like women heavy. They are some times called chubby chasers. This is for those who are just into looks like a lot of guys who only go for a certain look. I prefer to look at their personality and intelligence. Next girl friend has to be an atheist.
I have always been tall. But for the last couple decades I have been bald or balding, so my attractiveness has probably been a wash once I hit my late 40s.. I also used to be more athletically built too, until my early 50s. I know these appearance things make a great difference, as when I was younger and had more going for me in appearance, I could get dates with not that much effort. Of course, that was before online dating. In online dating, I get very little interest, probably because of all the competition from men with better builds and more hair on their heads.
Now.... for the "no PC horse shit" answer.
With rare exceptions, when it comes to the rules of attraction we are still functioning at the level of hunter gatherer cave dwellers. There is a difference between what goes on in the board room and what goes on in the bedroom. The former is controlled by higher thinking skills and the latter by our base level processes.
Women better connect sexually and romantically with taller men because they tend to have the greatest chance of being good providers and producing offspring which guarantees the continuation of the bloodline. Of course, being physically fit also enters in to the picture, but an overweight tall man will fare a bit better than an overweight short man.
Men connect with physically fit women because they have a better chance of upholding and defending territory and protecting offspring when the males are away hunting and gathering supplies.
I've always been fascinated by why we've never really evolved when it comes to our romantic and sexual interactions. In a modern world where wars are waged with smart bombs and computers more than they are by hand to hand with clubs and spears, you'd think the human animal would evolve to follow suit. But it just hasn't happened. For the most part, it's still braun over brains in the dating world.
It would be nice if someone who is smarter and more edjumicated than me would do an honest to goodness, no PC bullshit, study on why. But anybody who had the balls to do so would be crucified by the PC Police.
You made an assumption that women preferring taller men was a societal norm and it was the selection at work. There are some preferences in mate choice that are believed to be from evolutionary selection. Tallness and body weight are not one of the factors (personal learning from class on Evolutionary biology at K.U.)
I do not like men that are overly tall, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am the height of an average women. One or two inches taller is fine as a partner and that does not require a person to be a tall man.
In one study females did express a GENERAL preference for men taller than themselves but in this study did not rate the taller males as more attractive. [journals.sagepub.com]
I think we're all different. I'm short and I've had relationships with both tall and short men. I'm old and have never had a relationship with anyone my age or older since my husband died. In general it is true that Society tells men and women that they want a certain body type and age. However when men and women expose themselves to a variety of people many of them find they are attracted to non-stereotypical relationships. Attraction is all in the head anyway. Older men with issues naturally gravitate to what Society has told them will be more stimulating. Once they get that in their head, they definitely limit their opportunities.