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#1. How many are on this site looking for a companion? Similar to other online dating sites?
#2. How many are financially able or interested in packing up their life and starting over in some far off location for the right partner?

The probability is quite low - but it is a place to share our condition with others in the same position - Ha! Reality sucks. The dating pool shrinks considerably with age and physical condition... There is a reason many single women retire to the beach or sun belt... it takes effort to put up with winter weather - but sitting in a darkened home with AC running for 6 months or more is not much different???

I met my Ex-wife on and she moved back to California to be closer to her daughter and grandkids. Family can be a powerful factor. My last partner moved to Colorado and I stayed here... I have a home that I love and a mortgage and a job that make it very hard to start over... I am resigned to meeting local women - but living in Sarah Palin's backyard it is hard to find much in common... honesty is my only real virtue?

FrostyJim 7 July 18

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Found someone here, he lives 900 miles away. I am not able to move. He is seriously thinking about it. I live in the DC area, and was not looking for someone so far away. But we click and after 22 years of a bad marriage I am happy.

Very happy for you wish I could be so lucky

  1. Not anymore, found her
  2. Did it
1of5 Level 8 July 19, 2019

I would relocate for the right partner. The big question is how do you find out if they are the right partner while you are far apart.

It's more than possible. Time, effort, energy, emotion, planes, trains & automobiles. That's how it's done. It's an investment to know if it's the b right one or not ... just like when there is little to no distance.

@SeaGreenEyez Yeah, but how do you get to the point where you feel that it is worth all that effort?

@Stephanie99 How did I know? A load of time online emailing, then texting/talking for as long if not longer, by the time I've met in person, there was little to no question about who we each were and enough pictures to know about the physical appearance.

I happen to prefer distance. So this wasn't a one time thing for me.

It's very easy to get to know someone via electronic technology. In fact, it's a whole lot more telling than the traditional offline methods if each person is committed to the process.

@SeaGreenEyez Thanks for your well thought out answers.I can see how you were able to build a long distance relationship that way.


I met my boyfriend on this site! We've been together for about 5 months and still have time to decide whether to move here with me or I move in with him. I'm going on my third visit to see him, the time before he came here. See what happens.

That's the thing. If it does work out, it's inevitable that someone has to move and, living where I live, the only way someone will ever move to my area of Iowa is if they already live in a hellhole of the US worse than Iowa, like the South, which a few women my age do, but those same women also have better weather than I do, so they are still likely to not want to move because besides weather most of them have family or kids nearby that they are staying there for. And I am not up to taking the risk of moving, being disappointed, having to move back, and start over.

@TomMcGiverin Sounds like you're set in your ways, in relationship's you are always taking a chance no matter what! It's up to you to open yourself up and take a chance and by what you said you are not. Oh well!

@MichelleGar1 I'm always up for taking the chance locally. But dating LD and making a cross country move, nope.....

@TomMcGiverin Hopefully you find someone. I'm willing to take that chance, my house is paid for, I can always rent it out. My job I have left it before and they took me back. Right now him and I are still in the early stages and we still have plenty of time to figure out where we end up.

@MichelleGar1 I am really happy that you found someone and I really hope it works out. I also know, as do my friends and my therapist, that I am too emotionally tired and wore out to try handling the challenges emotionally and energy-wise of LD dating or moving away with my friends all back here and risking that it doesn't work out and then moving back here. I have had too many losses and defeats in this decade and cannot take any more major ones, at least not for a while. Any mental health person will tell you that moving, esp. to a new area, is the second most major stressor next to losing a loved one to death or maybe divorce.

@TomMcGiverin Thank you! Yes an end to most relationships are or can be stressors and with the moving away and feeling defeated yet again, yes does take a toll on everyone but I am willing to try again. You can't always keep yourself bottled up sometimes you have to take a chance! Either this is the relationship I have always been looking for, which so far it seems to be or I will learn something from it, maybe both! I have been beaten and broken down in past relationships but you deal with it and move on!

@MichelleGar1 I respect your courage and strength, but seeing my late wife thru her dementia used up most of what I had in my for the time being. Maybe later will be different, but I am pretty worn out now. And I am also ten years older than you....

@TomMcGiverin That's hard to see your loved one die slowly like that, I can only imagine! Sorry for your loss, your love for her will probably never fade and sounds like you're not ready for anyone else! Just take your time, age is just a number! I dated a man 12 year's older than me and acted younger than some men that I dated who are younger! He sucked! Lol!!! It's never too late!

@MichelleGar1 With all due respect, how would you know whether I am ready to date again or not? My friends and therapist IRL know me a hell of a lot better than you do and they feel I have been ready for a couple years. Quit judging me...That is an ignorant myth that all widowed people never move on after losing a partner they loved and it's exactly that type of ignorant assuming that is a big part of why so many divorced, not widowed, women won't give me a chance on Match. Because they have never been widowed and assume that all widowed men never get over their dead wives. While the real reason that many of them will probably never date widowed men is that it challenges the woman's denial that her failed marriage was all the fault of her ex, instead of at least partly or mostly her. Many women are afraid of giving a widowed man a chance because then if it fails, they might have to consider what is wrong with them; rather than the widowed man, who brought a better relationship track record into the new partnership than they had with their failed marriage. Ever consider that aspect? BTW, I didn't come up with this idea by myself, even tho I had suspected it before. It's from a research article in a journal.

@TomMcGiverin I am not judging you I don't know you, I'm just reading what you are texting. Oh well hope you find someone and hope you enjoy the rest of your day! Not all women are like what you said, but whatever. Take care


Many are looking few will find distance is the problem

bobwjr Level 10 July 18, 2019

Very much would like to find someone but not holding much hope most don't want a old fart like me

  1. I'm not here for dating.

I am undatable.

Does that mean you are past your"Use by" date?

I'm not convinced that that (undatable) is a bad thing! 🙂

@creative51 I don't have one of those.


No.1...I am definitely open to the idea of meeting someone.
No.2...Not so simple. I could move , but I am in a musical situation I would not want to leave. I have been playing music with my brother for over 45 years, and we have a really good band with people who have spent most of their lives making a living playing music. I have played with hobby players when my brother retired for almost a decade and it was not fulfilling. The majority of hobby players look at playing as a time to drink to much and show off. I haven't been drunk at a gig since the late 70's. If music had been a hobby and that had been my background I would probably have that same attitude.This seldom leads to a really good band. True professionals want to make good music period. There are only a handful of places you will find those players and the Austin area is one of those places. If it weren't for that I would have no real problem moving. Since l am alone, music is all I really have and I don't want to do it half- assed. The only women I have made any connection with at all so far all live over 1000 miles away. Go figure. So I am not optimistic about meeting someone here. Sorry I got so long winded. 🙂

No one in Austin? Such a progressive city, there has to be a way too meet more people.

So about 10 years ago I lived in Pflugerville...... too bad we didn't meet back then

@Heidi68 Such is life, huh? Missed by that much. 🙂

@Heidi68, @GreatNani I live about 30 miles outside of Austin in the Hill Country and it is just far enough away and the traffic is so horrible, it is not worth dealing with. It has also gotten incredibly expensive. It went from the most reasonable city to be in to the most expensive city in Texas in about a decade. Things change.

@Sticks48 I had no idea! My godfather moved to Austin about 5 yrs ago to be with his son. He loves it. What a shame.

@Sticks48 my ex-bf's ex-wife lives in Boerne - that is some pretty country

@Heidi68 Yes it is. North Carolina is really beautiful too. When we were touring with Willie we played in North Carolina at some big amusement park, but our hotel was in South Carolina and we couldn't call there because it was long distance. This was a long time ago.

@GreatNani I am sure if I had not lived in Austin when I did and went there recently I would probably be impressed too. It went from being a funky city for everyone one regardless of gender, race, or income to another big city. It was a place where all of these different people from all walks of life hung out together and listened to music together. It was a very special city. In all my years on the road, playing all over the country, it was truly unique. Change is inevitable. I am grateful to have been there when I was.

@CrazyQuilter Yes?

@CrazyQuilter It is not good and getting worse as more folks are moving to Austin and up and down the I-35 corridor from Georgetown to San Antonio, and will be completely filled with town between those two points. The music scene is large, but SXSW has brought so many musicians here, there are more musicians than venues which makes it difficult to make any money.

@Sticks48 that is a shame. Really a shame. Glad you enjoyed it when you did.

@Sticks48 you must have played at Carowinds & probably stayed in Rockhill, SC. I live about an hour from Carowinds.
Yes NC is beautiful - I love it here (well I love a lot of places). The mountains are gorgeous but the beach is my home/my favorite.
The view from my house
The view from my dad's GF's house
The view from my dad's condo

@Heidi68 Really beautiful. Lucky you. Carowinds sounds right.


1.) No
2.) No. Did that once. Not again. i did all my adventuring when i was 20. Great memories.

Good luck to all of you saying yes to 1 and 2. This seems to be a great site for finding someone. At least the religion thing is out of the way.


I am looking for friends, companions and if I got lucky my partner. I’m good as I am but I could be better. If it happens great, if not okay too! I just like being around like minded people. I like being around thinkers...


Eh, I'm looking, but not particularly hard. My last relationship was enough of a trainwreck to justify some introspection. l could pack up and move across the globe, but I don't really want to. I have the skills to make excellent money anywhere, but job hunting is never fun. Plus, my house is awesome.

Ideal bet would be to find a lovely woman with no roots, buy a boat and drop off the face of the Earth. Set up a line of site Wi/Fi antenna and make enough money working from home to live comfortably and completely free.

Son might get bored though, and leaving him with his mother is unthinkable.

My last relationship, my one LTR in my life was a great 21 yr. relationship with a marriage and no kids, that was great and happy, at least until she got dementia in 2011. So I have been understandably looking hard to find someone after finishing my grieving about two years ago.


I am here more for the interaction than to find a partner....but it would not be a bad thing if that were to happen. I have been on other sites and have given up because I am not sure that I 'translate' well on these sites. I think it may be my unconventional looks and age...who the hell knows coz I sure don't lol. Anyhoo, I spend my time between the U.S. (the place I call home) and Australia because I have family in both countries, so relocation is a possibility for either of those countries. I agree as we age our options dwindle and I really have stopped looking for a partner because I am an older woman (I know older men have a hard time too but they still have many more options than older women do) and also because I find most men of my age are as unattractive to me as I am to them....but for different reasons. 🙂


I'm not actively seeking a partner, but would welcome an intellectual connection or a spark of romance if it were to happen in my usual round of activities online or on my little island. Not likely, so I'm good with that.

Pretty happy on my own, with my idyllic life here on Kauai, so I'm not seeking to move away, unless I was to fall for a guy who lived somewhere at least half as nice as where I am, with love and happiness making up for the half that is lacking.


I would and will be mobile after I sell this place, but feel I don't bring alot to the table right now.

You have plenty to bring to the table, don't underestimate yourself.

You're a cat lover, which by itself says you have a good heart and are good folks. You have something to offer someone.

As my beloved use to tell me; You have everything I want and need. The same is true for you, you can be someone’s everything, don’t hold yourself back.💕

  1. When I scroll through profiles, especially when someone replies to one of my messages, it looks like about 80% of them are looking to meet persons of the approprate gender(s). I'm baffled by those looking for many genders. It's as if they're saying "Don't care if you are a cross dressing, gay, lesbian or straight -- get over here. I'm lonesome tonight."

  2. Intermittently someone meets someone here but it looks like 2% or less of the active members. After that they brag about what a wonderful person Metalhead is. Grim, grim odds. Having said that, my profile says I'm here for the community which means "not looking" and I still get women that send me private e-mail that indicates they're lonesome tonight.

  3. The ones who seperate most of their sentences by ... strike out. Anyone using more than three dots are mistaken for Donald Trump.

  4. The hot, the horny, the steaming for wild sexual flings women are all more than a day's drive away. The oversexed are way over there.

My profile says that I am open to all genders because I am seeking friends.
A partner would be nice but considering my location, I find it unlikely.

@Lucy_Fehr >considering my location, I find it unlikely.

Assuming your profile is correct, Fort Pierce isn't exactly on the far side of the moon. It's in the highly populated south Florida region. Whereas I live in the thinly populated foothills of Appalachia in a tiny (~12,000 people) town of Seneca, SC.

Now if you were living in Moose Jaw in southern Saskatchewan, Canada, it'd be a little more believable.

Any who, how's that friendship search working out for you? Anyone darken your door yet?

“Appropriate genders” ???

@brainyactress If one was looking for a romantic entanglement, it would be with a gender that would be an appropriate gender one feels comfortable with.

@WonderWartHog99 And for some “folx” that’s all of the above and that’s “appropriate.”

@brainyactress >And for some “folx” that’s all of the above and that’s “appropriate.”

That's the we'll lay pipe with anything group.


I would consider moving for the right person but I couldn't do it for several years as I have committed to helping with the grand kids til they leave for college.

I doubted I would find anyone locally to date but I like the idea of having a non religious platform to discuss things on without dealing with the thoughts and prayers thing


I found this site because I was looking to find atheists to date. I very quickly realized location was a huge issue though. Like many I’m still here just to socialize with like minded people.

I just moved to NorCal to be close to my parents so I wouldn’t relocate too far. I want to be able to drive over for a weekend without having to take time off work. Financially I can go just about anywhere if I wanted to. Assuming there’s some sort of civilization nearby where I could ply my trade.


I am sure many here come to fill an empty void in their hearts. We are social animals, we can not live on bread and butter alone.

Dare I say, within a population of theists, non-secular beliefs are a curse.

You can pretend to believe in a non existent god, cuddling with a lover who believes in, what to you is, nothing more than a mental pill offering an escape from the reality of death.

With some, who choose live a lie, the lie they live becomes nothing more than enslavement. It is a constricting chain which slowly sucks the life out of them. It changes them in many ways. Pain to anger, isolation to depression.

Many know the odds of a relationship with a theist are challenged. They avoid it. Males search with hungry eyes and hearts, only to find they are not the minority. Women are the minorities of the minority theist world.

Frustration shadows male theists. That dream woman, the one you really want, she's over there. A thousand miles away. Pull yourself from your income, family and some of the things you love and you have a chance at winning her heart.

If not, you can wait. Grow more desperate in your solitude. Hope for a non-secular match to appear.

What makes it worse, none of it should matter. You live in a society which actually forces you to think about your not believing in something which doesn't exist.

You watch the common occults destroy everything with their fear based beliefs.

You choose how long you stay with a lover based on their lack of belief in an occult. So few to choose from you'll accept a lover you may not have normally, just because she doesn't believe in a ridiculous occult.

So, my bad, went off on a tangent. Yeah I came here for love. Stayed for community.

No I won't pack up and leave for a companion. I could never love anyone more than my child. I can just suck it here in the cursed land of the godbots.


I would love to find a companion, whether it be from here or elsewhere. Online doesn't seem to be a realistic way to find someone. I am trying to be more active in things that interest me. I think that is probably a better way to find someone.

Technically I am open to a relationship of any distance and would move for the right person. The reality is that it is difficult to really get to know someone if you can't spend time with them.

I suspect women retire to the beach or the sun belt for the same reason as men do.

  1. I would not be averse to finding a companion. 2. No relocation for me, not outside the larger metropolitan area.


Move to a state with more women....Alaska has more men.

A lot more!


I do fine on my own, and it's not my end all and be all - but a companion to do stuff with would sure be nice.

And though I'm certainly financially able, I made my move to where I am, from NY 20yrs ago (already done my time in winter !). Why ? Because I really like being warm - yes - even in the summer here. And I love alligators, and wanted to have them around, which I do ! A/C runs only in the afternoon, and my house in the woods is not "darkened" - but rather pleasant ! And paid for. Unless Florida ends up under water - I'd be loathe to leave ...

I suspect I have a broader pool from which to choose , than you do in Sarah Palin country.


#1 - not really unless some unforeseen lighting strikes.
#2 - not unless I win the lottery. On the other hand, I have a nice home, so if a woman wanted to, she could move in with me. Yeah, I know, not very likely either.

I am fortunate in that when I am alone, I do not mind it. I enjoy my own company. When alone I am with my own best friend. I am not a hermit, but finding a woman to be with is not my life's pursuit.

@Ms_McSteven Nothing wrong with liking oneself.

I enjoy being alone. I am comfortable with me, if I meet someone, yay! If not, oh well, it isn't the end of the world - as long as someone could drive me home from my colonoscopy like @Ms_McSteven said above 😃

@Ms_McSteven Liking yourself and being comfortable with your self is not narcissism. If someone mistakes it for that, maybe they have some issues themselves.


I moved for love before....then he allowed his real self to appear and I chose not to stay with abuse. I'm still in the area but it's a pretty red state and few that think as I do. Moving isn't always a great idea.


I'm planning on moving away from my current location but need to wait until my kids are grown. I would love it if I had a sweetheart somewhere to move to when I'm ready. Can't say that Alaska is on my list of places to live.


After reading all the comments here, I can see your problem. Could you do four or five months away from home at their place or somewhere else on earth? Robert William Service came to mind and his poem called the The Cremation of Sam McGee. If you haven’t heard of this Canadian, check him out: [] He has some funny poems and stories from his time in the Yukon.

I think everybody here knows about Robert Service - yes his poetry is entertaining... I cannot be away from here as I am working and have no retirement plans any time soon. Besides it is not easy to leave a home unattended through our winter weather without a house-sitter and it is not easy to find someone you can trust...

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