Today is the final day of the worst year of my life;it was one year ago on the 22nd of August that my longtime girlfriend,Sonia,died from lung cancer.
It has been a year of profound grief,sadness and anger.I miss her greatly,and always will.At times,I questioned going on,as suicide seemed a viable and attractive option.
Maybe I can now resume the rest of my life,but there will always be a huge chasm in my life and my emotions.only time will tell;I will endeavor to regain some sense of equilibrium,and maybe happiness.
Anniversaries are dreadful, yet reaching this point means you chose to continue living. I sense a bit of hope in your post, and that’s healthy. Grief will continue to hit at the oddest times, and if you can accept that, so can a future partner. Best wishes for your healing heart.
Think of the good things about Sonia that make you very proud and a smile will creep up on your face! Remember that and know that she would want you to grieve, of course, but also keep moving along with life. Happiness comes back in bits and pieces so look for it and find it when you can!
Take care!
Thanks for the kind words
We need you. Stay strong. She would not want you to be grieving. It becomes a part of your life and personality. I had lost my relationship at 28. It haunted me for years, if not decades.
I have the world to see now. I have plans. (still alive at 65)
My sympathies for the loss of your partner. I hope you can leave behind your feelings of anger, which are understandable, but which will do you harm if you hold on to them. This is a milestone, the one year mark, and I urge you to cherish those memories of your time together, but try to focus on the positives from them and move on with your life and try to find happiness again, because that will be the best thing for you, and I’m sure what Sonia would wish for you, I understand only too well that feelings of despair can lead you to have suicidal thoughts, I lost my son in January when he took his own life, and wish that I’d been able to prevent it. It sounds like you have moved past these feelings, which I’m glad to hear, and am confident that in time you will find that equilibrium and happiness again. I wish you the very best going forward...be positive and you will succeed.
"Widow(er)/life partner/significant other" might help with the worst days.
I am sorry for your loss. Anniversary dates suck.
My BIL died of colon cancer that also went to his lungs.
And I'm watching an old friend battle lung cancer right now.
Keep trekking on. I know it’s hard. At times in my life if I had a Killswitch I would have pulled it but fortunately I don’t and I would have missed many of the blessings if I had
An old cliche I know but it does get better
Take care
Deeply sorry for your profound loss of your Sonia. I completely empathize all of the intense emotions you've been feeling after her crossing over. Grief and mourning are two different coping experiences -- I once read a powerful statement from a life coach who said: Grief is clinging to what has been lost whereas mourning is acceptance and surrender of the loss and leads to freedom. You're still grieving and you can grieve for as long as needed until it all leaves your body. When my best friend, my soul mate, committed suicide at 24 years old - my world was s.h.a.t.t.e.r.e.d. and I, too, wanted to die for I couldn't imagine my life without her and felt so lost and aimless and lethargic. It took 7 long years of deep grieving. And then one day, my grief slipped into mourning. I mourned for a few more years after that and finally on her death anniversary, one year, I didn't break down crying -- it was a quiet acceptance. A part of me will always be sad and I still can't think too much about my soulmate but I am, amazingly so, living again. Thank you for sharing your grief and concerns as it shows you do want to live but you deeply need a support system from those that understands exactly what you're going through. Gentle hug
I'm glad you chose to live and keep going. I'm very sorry for your loss, and hope you are finding strength in friends and family. It's been just over a year for me, and although I never felt suicide was the answer for my pain I understand your thoughts of it. Losing your partner is a horrible pain to endure. Sending hugs your way.
My sincerest condolences got out you on your loss, BUT, trust me when I say from experience things do get better over time, they never actually disappear BUT they will and do lessen. Remember the good times and relish in them, shed tears when you feel the need and be NOT ashamed to do so for you ARE but human as we ALL are.
Almost all of this whole decade has been loss, grief, suffering and death for me, so I can relate. I will be glad when it finally passes, like a kidney stone, and we begin 2020. Glad you have made progress..
I lost my wife of 27 years,Sept.13th 2017,to aggressive lung Cancer,a crushing blow for others,but I was an old Bachelor of 43 when we married so I was used to being alone,yes,I miss a Woman's touch, the companionship,another viewpoint and ideas. We are born alone, and may pass away with no one to care,life can be very cruel at times....
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost a neighbor whom I was very fond of and was a real friend to my family die from stomach cancer. Not hearing his outdoor tv still causes an emptiness in me. Cancer just sucks.
Life goes on my friend, time heals all wounds is not a cliche.
Time may heal the wounds but, sadly, the scars still remain and I know full well from personal experience, however, the good memories are the balm that ease the aches from those scars, hang onto those memories for they are yours and yours alone.