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Having come from a thoroughly dysfunctional family, there is great advantage in learning customer service or psychology, because it teaches you how to deal with all kinds of people, what works, and what does not work.
If you have no empathy, and cannot imagine or consider another person's position, it is highly unlikely you will ever be friends, let alone anything beyond that. Some people seem to believe that the other is suppose to be someone with no ego whatsoever, there to serve them. Some Americans even think that the closer you are and the more time you spend together, the better . . . I am quite the opposite in my thinking.
This all leads to something I have picked up on in my exploration of other languages / cultures / foreign films . . . . Looking outside of your own cultural bubble can seriously alter you views.
For example, you will see Americans advocating for corporal punishment of children, and they will rationalize it to hell and back to try to justify it. But for anyone who has the gift of being able to see beyond their own parochial shell of nationalism and monoculturalism, it makes no sense whatsoever, because there are plenty of nations and cultures who do not punish children with corporal punishment, and they turn out fine! In fact, I would maintain, that one of the reasons that there is a lack of power amongst American citizens is precisely because they are dictated to as children, taught not to talk back, even treated as if they are lesser because they are children in some cases. If you want sheep, treat them like sheep, and that is what you will likely get.

This is one of the reasons why "American exceptionalism" is such a stupid idea.

Archeus_Lore 7 Sep 9

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Hitting a child means you are not able to handle a situation and have given into your temper and ignorance. You are teaching them that violence is a solution. Most misbehaving children are either tired, hungry or thirsty. Younger children are easily distracted from bad behavior and older children respond well when toys or privileges are threatened.


Some children will only understand a smack on the bottom.

If the stronger can rule, do not complain when the senior citizens are beaten by their sons and daughters.
If you have to use power to control someone, you are already wrong, no matter the issue. And pay attention in the word control... It is not to protect, defend, make justice, is just control.
No parents ever beat up the children on a rational manner, it is always an outburst of rage.

Children learn by the example that is set for them.

@Pedrohbds Well, how many children do you have I wonder. I am not talking about beating but an occasional smack on the bottom, big difference. Sons and daughters who beat their aged parents do that to get money usually by the way.

@Pedrohbds, @Archeus_Lore Yes, but now and then there is this child that will only understand a smack on the bottom.

Disagree, completely. If someone resorts to corporeal punishment, they are only using their most primitive low-level behavior . . . when they could use other methods and do less harm.
I had a nephew who was a compulsive liar . . . under your theory . . . . spanking would be a possible answer. Instead, I simply outfoxed him. I knew he loved fishing, so I told him that tomorrow morning, we were going. So he is all excited, even wakes me up in the morning ready to go. Then I dropped the bomb on him . . . I said . . . "I lied . . . when you lie to me, that gives me permission to lie to you."
Were there is a will, there is a way. Some parents are to lazy though to reflect before they act, or they simply react on impulse, but having come from a family were abuse was prevalent, you are wasting your time trying to convince me, at least, because I will never go over to that camp. Ever.


@Jolanta Teah, but now and them someones aged father is very stubborn and will only understand if you give him some smacks...

They are the same sentence, you are using pain as a way to control someone that can't defend himself just because you can.

It is unacceptable.

@Pedrohbds I wonder how many children you know personally

@Jolanta The behavior of the kid is irrelevant, actually if the kid is too much means that you are spanking the kid out of anger, it is just some anger that you can release and will go unpunished.
Imagine if the kid was as strong as you, would you smack it? Or you do it only when the other side can't react?

@Jolanta Interestingly if you smacked an adult like that, it would be assault. Yet doing it to kids is okay? why the double standard? Also, abuse research has demonstrated that those that were abused as kids tend to have a higher likelihood of abusing their parents/grandparents as seniors. It is called the cycle of abuse for a reason after all.

@demifeministgal Some adults should also be smacked, some of them is the only thing they understand.

@Jolanta I've spanked my two boys. The fear of it drives them more than the actual pain (I've never spanked them hard). Oldest one moved past it at an early age. When he told me hated me, I told him that I loved him. When he ran away to Grandma and Mom, I suffered the blows to my heart.

Now my little guy who's now 12, got a light spanking last year as his mouth runs away from him, over and over. I told him he's way to old and should be embarrassed by getting this. You don't talk to me this way, plain and simple, non negotiable. Do I talk to you like this? ?? Yeah, I didn't think so, and I don't deserve it, and in turn, you will get what you deserve.

He's also been told many a times by Dear Old Dad, that his real beating is going to come in the real world by real big people if he doesn't learn to keep his smart ass mouth shut. Wait and see.....I won't be there to protect you.

Spanking is Wake Up Call. He'd best wake up

@Jolanta Teaching slavery . . . that is exactly what you are doing, teaching slavery to some higher power. Children should be allowed to talk back. Reason is, I had a father who never would allow any of us to talk back, and when someone becomes a dictator like that, they usually end up losing touch with anyone else's concerns or feelings, misunderstand situations, because they are relying on their own, one-sided view, as a result of not hearing any opposition . . . my father never allowed it, I eventually left him completely forsaken, because he never allowed it, he never understood how much hurt he was really causing, because he never allowed criticism, he became a despicable human being who preyed on those who were younger and weaker than himself, and should have ended up in jail for all that he did, and me expressing my complete rejection of him is far from what punishment he should have endured. If you destroy a child's ability to present opposition, you destroy his ability to fight back when presented with threats, or, you create a rebel like me who would not hesitate to tell my father to fuck off were I ever to see him again, fortunately for me, I don't have to, have not, for over 20 years will not . . . and when he dies, I am much more likely to celebrate . . . . the world will be a better world for it.

@Archeus_Lore I am sorry you had an insensitive bastard of a father, but you know that was probably the all he knew how to behave too. I think you are misunderstanding me. There are differences in talking back and discussing, big differences. When you speak about telling your father to fuck off because he has caused you pain well that is understandable, however I have dealt with adults that are afraid of their pre teenage children because they have never said no to their children yet alone giving them a smack on the bottom when they ran out into the road into on coming traffic.

It disappoints me that people refuse to see that it is not necessary at all; many cultures get by fine without doing it, I have known people who never did it, and their children turned out fine. People make their own world small, and are worse off because of it.

@Archeus_Lore I know and have know people who never did it and yes their children did turn out fine, however I am talking about that not all do. There is always those who don't, who need a smack on the bottom and I am not talking about abuse or trashing them from an inch of death either.

Your world, your choice, face it, I will NEVER agree with you.

@Archeus_Lore That’s ok, we have probably not have had the same experiences. You take care.


We Americans are exceptionally stupid, proof: Trump is POTUS.


Don't blame me, I voted for HER.

@LiterateHiker so did I, but here we are.


Wow, I didn’t even know American exceptionalism was even a thing, that’s hilarious in its arrogance really.
I was friends with a psychologist who had never smacked his children. He decided to start smacking and found they became more violent towards others. He soon stopped and went back to reasoning and isolation techniques.

We can learn from the animal kingdom. They don’t hurt their babies. A misbehaving child just like adults who give into bad behavior are usually hungry, tired or dehydrated. I think this is part of addiction therapy to not make choices if any of these are true.


I think most of that way of thinking is found in just about all cultures. When I was little, still living in Asia, I was never hit, spanked, paddled, beaten, slapped, etc. However, my cousin of around the same age was belted regularly (whenever she didn't get a perfect score in school). Everyone knew it, was never a secret, but thought that was acceptable. Thoughts on how to raise, teach, and punish children vary among Canadians as well. I always believe in focusing on the child's strengths and using them to build success, and punishments should relate to the "crime" and the child should be taught a positive alternative in place of the bad behaviour so they can behave appropriately in the future. A friend of mine would just say the child needed to have been beaten growing up so he/she doesn't turn out doing bad things. Any crying child throwing a tantrum, she would say the parents should spank that child. Ugh.

If you aren't aware of some of these things going in some other cultures, it's likely because in those cultures they don't openly discuss such matters in the open (may be only privately among relatives, friends, etc.)

I'm sure there are instances, but my bet is there are much fewer and further between, and, my bet is that all of the violence contributes to the war culture that Americans are so fond of.

@Archeus_Lore War culture is everywhere. The reason my parents moved us to Canada was partly to avoid having us kids being blown up while being at school. My family was Christian, and we went to a Christian school, in a country with 95% Moslem population. If you've been living in the Western world, you ain't seen what real sheeple look like and do. In the US and possibly other Western countries, you might be afraid of violence carried out in public places now and again. In other parts of the world, you live with the possibility of such violence everyday. In some of these countries, children are raised to hate others and given guns at a very young age to go to war. If I had to make the choice, I would prefer living in the US than any of these other places. Where I grew up as a child, I couldn't walk down the street or walk to school on my own without my life being in danger. Houses have to have locked tall fences and gates with barbed wire and broken glass placed above the fences. Fear was an everyday thing.

I was hit as a child, being sensitive I’d describe the technique as banging in a picture hook with a sledge hammer. I prefer reasoning any day.

War culture is not everywhere. There are plenty of examples of countries that are very unwarlike. It is a bad thing that you grew up in one that was very warlike, but it does not mean that all countries are war-like. Also . . . do not assume that the USA is better, because while it may seem so from a local point of view, it is hardly that. Somewhere around 1 million people were killed in the Iraq war alone . . . . the USA has a history of settling things with violence, a very long and bloody one.

@girlwithsmiles My parents didn’t hit us kids but they did other things that broke our spirits down. Their reasoning wasn’t always rational. However, we were hit and subjected to other forms of physical punishment in school. It all seemed to be acceptable practice. School felt like the military. We did marches, had to salute the flag, even wore military style hats. And we were just a bunch of little kids. Scouts was mandatory at school and most of what we did was training in case of war.

@Archeus_Lore Oh I’m not saying all cultures are necessarily war-like or violence-minded but I’m just saying that it’s far from unique to the US. I’ve read where those living in the Middle East accept possibly being hit by bombs as a regular part of daily life. Families in certain countries carry out honour killings and in many countries women are treated with much violence. Warlords rule some nations. In India gang rape of women are extremely common. In African countries, men with HIV commonly rape young girls believing in the “virgin cure”. Oh and I’m not blind to violent events happening in the US or involving the US either. There’s always some degree of violence, oppression, discrimination, etc. that stem from indoctrination as children in many parts of the world. They could be in different forms. At least historically just about all nations, groups, tribes, etc have been involved in wars or conflicts or acts of forced colonization. Heck, the Trobriand Islanders were well-known for cannibalizing people not from one’s own tribe. Fun fun. (And yes, my academic background is in anthropology, archaeology, history, sociology, criminology, etc.)


I always wonder what people are thinking when they rry to communicate ideas like "respect" or "caring" by saying "imagine that youre working with someone from your own family". I don't know what percentage of Americans can actually relate their own experiences with the way were supposedly expected to treat others, especially when our culture clearly supports a violent, monarchistic, version of "communal living".


i see americans who think like that and i see those who do not. i see australians, to name but one nationality, and brits, to name another, with the same mindset. none of what you have described is unique to americans.



Most Americans are definitely sheeple. It explains how our corrupt system is allowed to continue. They are too meek to revolt or even try to vote them all out.


Agreed. Looking outside your bubble will change your views.

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