A family funeral is not the same as condoning atrocities. If the funeral was secular then religious people would have to respect that.
If you follow your reasoning to its logical conclusion? Then no atheist would ever sit in Congress or the Senate, as they would refuse to pledge "One nation under god". That would leave the voters unrepresented. If you think that that is far fetched then take a look at Sinn Fein MPs in Northern Ireland. They will not sit in Westminster bc they won't pledge allegiance to the queen and NI assembly has not sat for 3 years due to a dispute.

"Here lies the grave of Albert May
Who died defending his right of way
He was right all along, all along
But he is just as dead as if he was wrong"

@273kelvin Nice attempt at justification, but no.

Btw, the "under god" part of the Pledge of Allegiance was added by Congress in 1954, to show that the US weren't "godless commies".
Further, no one is required by law to recite it, including members of Congress. So that particular aspect of your justification is nonsense.

"Going along" in nearly every situation is wrong.
Even at funerals.

@KKGator The operative word there is "nearly". I fail to see how respecting other beliefs at a family funeral can be put in the same context as condoning atrocities.
My father was an atheist too. I can still remember the odd family occasions where our presence was required in the church. He would go down on one knee, bow his head and remain silent as prays were said. He never joined in the hymns or communal prays but did not make a big deal about it. It was HIS respectful silence that makes me so angry at bible thumpers berating me as I walk down the high st and why I berate them back.

Why?
Why is it the non-believer's obligation to "make nice"?
Why are the feelings of the believers so much more important, and
must be tiptoed around?

@KKGator respect.

Respect for the dead and for those grieving.

There is a time and place for everything. Everywhere and any time is not "all the time"

You can be a true non believer and still have respect for others.

@moosepucky You do you.
I'll just skip funerals so I don't have to put up with religious bullshit.
The dead don't care.

@KKGator I have not been to one since I was 9 years old.

Neither of my parents had funerals.

I don't do funerals or weddings.

@KKGator one can't get respect for their own feelings if you don't respect someone else's

@Lorajay That's right. Which is precisely what the believers DON'T do.
They don't respect anyone else's feelings. There's no reason to respect theirs.
That street runs both ways.

@Lorajay my experience with life must be far different than what you have experienced. I have never been "preached to or at"

I guess I have been lucky.

@moosepucky Indeed you have been lucky.

@KKGator I have never had anyone try to convert me to any religious, political, dietary, or sexual belief.

@moosepucky Again, really lucky.

@KKGator until joining in here I was under the impression that what I experienced was "normal"

I now see my "view of the world" has been a little sheltered.

@KKGator, I think that would be the appropriate action for someone who feels as strongly as you do about anything/anyone religious. Going could only result in tragedy, so staying home - and even telling them why you're abstaining - is the best choice.

But other non-believers may find a reason to suffer through the machinations of the religious if the deceased was close to them. And that's okay.

@Lauren That's true, and that's why I don't go.

Why does the non-religious person have to be the one to acquiesce?
That's ridiculous.

The whole "go along to get along" thing is what's gotten us where we are.
Give the believers an inch, and they'll take the whole damned country.

@KKGator Yep

@KKGator not all believers are the same for one. you really like to lump them in together. it's not that simple. Pride and arrogance on both sides of this issue are ugly and unjustified. I just defer to being respectful which does not mean I agree with their viewpoint, there is enough drama already without activism at a funeral. unless it's somebody like Pat Robertson.

@hankster And you are free to do as you see fit.
I'm over it.
Btw, I "lump them in together" because they're ALL delusional.
They all share a belief in things that have never existed.
They don't stand up to their brethren and tell them to back off and stop what they do to others.
I do not respect them.
I feel completely justified, and I don't care if it's "ugly".
I come by my positions in response to what they do.
Sometimes, as distasteful as it may be, you have to fight fire with fire.
For a lot of them, scorched earth is all they understand, and I'm okay with giving it to them.

@KKGator lol.... let those without delusion cast the first stone.