Would you date a person with a speach impediment? Or just to hang out with an individual with a speach impediment? Maybe that person talks funny? Or has issues saying certian letters? What if you and that person got along great and always had fun? Would you still hang out with that person? Would you want to be seen with this person or even want to be associated with that individual?
You see. I went thru speech therapy when I was in grade school, and thru the first 2 years of high school. I have issues saying certian letters. The speech therapy teacher always made me talk and recorded me speaking. Then she would play back, what I said. This way, I can "hear" how I sound.
As an adult (or even as a kid), I sound normal and fine to me. I can't hear me mis-pronouncing a word or a letter. As a teen, I may have gotten told to "slow down" when I talk.
I want to say a lot, in this post. It is hard to go into great detail about my speach and what I experience (post would go on and on).
Why I am asking this, my speech has been mentioned to me, multiple times by several people in the last 3 or 4 years. It has been bugging me. Do I really talk that bad? I was told by one person, I just may sound better if I sung. She gave references to British (and other singers) how they sound great singing. I did not know if I should be insulted, or take that as a compliment. I was left speechless. I also had co-workers say snide remarks about the way I talk too.
I guess I do not know where I am going with this. Just ranting, this evening. I am putting this down in the "General and Hellos" section, cuz I'm not to sure where to put this under. Have a great night, folks!
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25 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.And that sounds like you've been disrespected in some shitty ways. I fondly thought I'd get clear of all that when I left school but, nope, some people are assholes to the core. Maybe prepare some witty rejoinders - bullies usually have glass jaws.
Palindromeman
Level 7
Mar 27, 2018
3
I am among the roughly 10% (in my observation) of people who wouldn't treat a person with a speech impediment (or physical disability, or odd behavior, or bad haircut, or funny clothes) as any less deserving of dignity or my respect and friendship. This means you have just as much as much of a shot at getting into my "dating pool" as anyone else.
Moreover, I cannot abide the (seeming) 90% of people who treat people as lesser than for such shallow reasons. This is why I had next to no friends growing up, and am basically a rabid misanthrope today. I chose to befriend the weird kid, and that has made all the difference.
stinkeye_a
Level 8
Mar 27, 2018
3
The guy I have a super crush on at my hospital has a tiny lisp and it just makes me love him even more lmao
LadyAlyxandrea
Level 8
Mar 27, 2018
3
My dad has reached a stage where he gets part way through a sentence and just loses the next word. He's doing it all the time, now. Once it happens, he just freezes. There's no recovery for him at that point, and I suspect he becomes frustrated and just loses the train of thought completely. If he's far enough through the sentence, you can help him through to the finish. But quite often, it just leaves everything and everyone hanging there, wondering what to do next.
I think I'd find that very difficult to live with on a daily basis (it's hard enough, occasionally visiting.) So much as I'd like to think a speech difficulty wouldn't be a deal breaker in a partner, it would depend on how it maniftested.
I really can't see a lisp, a minor stutter, or an occasional malapropism putting me off, though. Just try to steer clear of 'nucular' and 'skellington', and never order an 'expresso' coffee, and you'll generally be fine around me.
NicoleCadmium
Level 7
Mar 28, 2018
3
Sorry to hear about your dad. When it comes to coffee, I like it straight and black.
Had he had any strokes?
I absolutely would date someone with speech disorders. I am a Speech Language Pathology Assistant, and I know speech, language, and intelligence are not the same thing.
Additionally, as an Autistic woman, I have Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder, and when I'm operating on sensory or emotional overload, I have a stutter. Hi!
TaraMarshall
Level 7
Mar 28, 2018
3
? my son has Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder and has a choppy speech pattern. I've always wondered how this might impact him growing up, I just can't find a lot of data about adults with this disorder.
@carcmcgarc, because it's very rare as a stand-alone. Most people with it are on the Autism Spectrum.
I have heard of the same thing with the speach disorder does go along with someone on the Spectrum. This is one thing, I still like to read up on. I always enjoy reading up on mental health and related subjects.
@countrylife, while many Autistic people also have mental health conditions, technically we are considered developmentally disabled. We have underlying neurological differences in both wiring and biology.
It wouldnt be a dealbreaker for me. My granddaughter has an impediment and although she has to repeat or rephrase, she seems ok so far but is only 11
I worry that it will be used as weapon when she is older since she is mixed race in a redneck area.
Lucy_Fehr
Level 8
Mar 28, 2018
2
Sometimes I need to repeat or rephrase myself. I have issues with words that start with the letter r. Sometimes if two words are back to back, one with r and the other with w, then I have issues with both words.
@countrylife Yeah R's are her issue as well but with words that end in R. When she was younger there was another letter but I do not remember what it was.Her mother says it's the common impediment. So far the other kids think she is british which amuses her.
When I worked in retail at 20, I had a customer ask me if I was from the south (I live in Michigan), and I said no. So as far as your kid goes, sounds like she has a good handle on her situation, taking the British remark as a compliment.
@SherryMartin, /r/ and /s/ remediation are two of the big speech issues. I mostly do language development.
@TaraMarshall Will she outgrow it?
@SherryMartin, I have no idea. I don't know the kid, so no way of judging.
I guess I should have phrased it as "do kids generally outgrow it"
Point taken..
I am dyslexic. 2's and 5's can be confusing, and math formulas are practically impossible.
It mostly comes out with numbers, but sometimes it carrys over to written letters also. b-p-d/ w-m (???)
If I am tired or exited it can also come out in my speach.
If I'm not careful, I may have a 'cof of cuppy', or a 'sand full of shoe', or 'cimmonon' on my buns and nalolium on my floor. Strageties and not strategies...
I get tongue-tied with words starting with 'BL' big blue bag or blue blanket? (FORGET IT!)
I sound so much more intelligent on paper than when I talk!
It brings laughter with it though, and I am able to laugh at my own blunders. It has never held me back from making friends.
Donna
Level 6
Mar 28, 2018
2
I find out that I am dyslexic too, if I am in a hurry. I will mix my 8 with a B, or 30 for a 03. Sometimes I can see a 1 and think it is a lower case L or I.
I do find it easier for me to type out what I want or need, instesd of talking. I don't believe I am bad with my language, it is easier typing for me.
I TOTALLY understand that. You can edit a paper, but if what comes out of your mouth is scrambled up you just sit there with your foot in your mouth thinking;
"I wonder if these folks realize that what I just said is not what I meant."
Funny how you and I understand what we just said in our brain. But people would look at us with that deer in headlight stare. LOL
I used to support a young lady with tourettes, she was a scream (literally). She would help with house banking ie I'd take her to the bank and we'd receive VIP treatment.
Stopped at a random breath test, she abused police and they had to smile 'carry on driver'.
Actually I loved working with non verbals, echolalics and their challenging behaviors.
Fudomyoo
Level 5
Mar 28, 2018
2
I never met an indivual with tourette's, or at least seen a person with that disorder (um, affliction?). One friend of mine says he has tourette's and said he learned how to controll it. I would never had thought he has that, unless he said something.
@countrylife the more afflicted are kept in 'group homes' occasionally they have 'community access' only if staff are available.
Hey man, we all talk funny, it doesn't seem from what you have said that you have a speech issue. My son had speech therapy when about 5, both he and my foster son spoke far too fast in their teens, I could not understand them. Many of the people I work with have speech issues, I never think about it. I would barely notice if a lady had a different way of speaking as long as I could make out what she was saying. My ex pronounces words poorly ie nucular. I probably have female friends with speech impediments, but off the top of my head nothing springs to mind.
Rugglesby
Level 8
Mar 28, 2018
2
Thanks for the complaint. I did take up speech ed as a kid, all the way up to 10th grade. I have no idea why, and I never have any real issues speaking. Just words with r or two words back to back that starts with r, then w (if that makes sense). As a teen, I was told to "slow down" when I speak. Today, people seem to understand me, just fine. The last 3 yrs, people been saying something to me and I started to wonder, about my language.
I suppose each situation is different. Regardless, it's just a piece of you (as I'm sure you know well), so someone that treats it as more of a big deal than that may not be worth trying to understand. I know that probably doesn't ease any concern a person may have about how their speech impediment is perceived. But truly, there are plenty folks out there that take people as they are. If that wasn't true, I'd never get a date! ?
carcmcgarc
Level 5
Mar 27, 2018
2
One of my kids had speech therapy in elementary school. Once her teeth got straightened out her pronunciation improved. (She had extensive orthodontia during childhood.) As for an adult with a speech impediment. I am far more interested in who you are and how you treat others (and me) than how well you talk. Mel Tillis had a horrible stutter, but he could sing. Now if you spray when you talk, that might be different. If it bothers you why don't you check into a diction coach or with a speech therapist again, especially if you think it is holding you back.
HippieChick58
Level 9
Mar 27, 2018
2
Yes. It would not even be a consideration. A corollary of that - a number of years ago I had a massive crush on a colleague who had a massive birthmark covering half her face and presumably down her body. She was very self conscious about it. I thought it made her look beautiful. Perfection is over rated. If my love had a speech impediment, I would not give it a moment's thought.
Palindromeman
Level 7
Mar 27, 2018
2
"big" problem with/for me. I've always had a minor speech impediment. Made worse by blurting out what I'm thinking before I fully think it through/trying to keep my mouth going with my mind- causing me to talk fast, and after decades of criticism, saying it quietl which all equals MUMBLING. I'll soon be going from the ideal situation for me- re-selling collectibles on line to selling them in a retail situation- at least at first, part time.... it's kinda scary, tbh..... we'll see how it goes.....
MikaB
Level 5
Apr 6, 2018
1
I have an acquaintance who stutters and I love talking to him because its an exercise in patience for me. I tend to finish other people's sentences when there are no speech impediments involved, so knowing that I have to shut up and really listen is different and fun for me.
Nottheonlyone
Level 7
Mar 28, 2018
1
I would have no problem with a speech disorder, assuming I'm still able to communicate with them. I know a few friends with mild speech impediments, and it never bothers me. The bit about singing is worth looking into, though. I've heard it can help some people, though it's all anecdotal, so take it with a grain of salt.
DonThiebaut
Level 7
Mar 28, 2018
1
Singing usually works best for stutterers.
@TaraMarshall That's what I've heard, too. Not sure how helpful is it to others, but it supposedly utilizes a different part of the brain that bypasses regular language issues. Always sounded psuedo-science-y to me, but I've never seen it debunked, so I guess it's worth a check for someone who might be benefitted, just in case.
@DonThiebaut, it helps only fluency disorders and some cases of Autism, TBI, and stroke, due to using other areas of the brain.
For Apraxia, the best help is Omega 3 Fatty Acids, since part of the underlying problem in most cases is a lack of nerve myelination in the articulators. Omega 3s help build the myelin sheathes, so correcting the deficiency helps the presenting problem. 90% of Autistic children are deficient in Omega 3s in rest studies,and over 40% of American children in general. We don't eat enough fish.
@TaraMarshall Interesting! That is much more useful info. Thanks!
...I'm still not eating more fish. ?
@DonThiebaut, Apraxia is a disorder of childhood, unless you have a demyelination disorder.
In High School, I ended up choir one year and chamber assemble the next year. Funny how I never did any major singing. Classroom full of girls, and I was one of three guys there. But I did learn the basics on how to sing. After one of our "shows" that evening, the girls did complement me on how well I did.
Another time, I was at a friends home (still in high school). We were watching some music show (maybe MTV?), and a song that I liked came on. I ended up singing it and my friends looked at me and said that was very good and I sung that song very well. They were sincere on what they said too.
I don't truely recall why I ended up in the singing classes in High School. I believe I was just placed into that class (per school counselor) to fill up time. I was already meeting the basic requirements to graduate. Singing classes were an elective class and I never chose to be there.
If a person can affect this speech defect but not, I treat him a little worse. In a sense, I am audial who perceives the world through sounds. When I get to know a person, the first thing I pay attention to is the voice, timbre, and speech.
Therefore, some defects cause me almost physical discomfort. Even I constantly train my speech and pronunciation. For a while, I had to wear braces from thehealthysmile.net to pronounce words correctly and not lisp.
Because of this, to some extent, I dislike people who do not want to work on their defects.
jukilopol
Level 3
May 30, 2022
0
Women with lisps are sexy as hell !!!
Simon1
Level 7
Mar 28, 2018
0
I am going to take your word with the sexy lisps. 
I dunno. I wouldn't date most people.
No very tall or short people,
no foreigners, no other races (except maybe Native American, since they honor women as equals),
people who eat meat or junk food,
people who don't exercise,
aren't fit,
don't read,
who golf, fish, hunt, or play video games
who watch NASCAR, or even knows what it is
who listen to country or Gospel music
who attend church, except maybe Lutheran or Unitarian
who aren't concerned about conservation of the environment and living a green lifesyle
birdingnut
Level 8
Mar 28, 2018
0
Sorry. I'm irony deficient. I do hope this is sprinkled, if not laden, with sarcasm.
@birdingnut. I can assure you I was not worried at all.
@MikaB NOPE. You can date whoever you want but I already know from experience what to avoid. Don't worry, I'm not remotely in your dating age range, so don't worry about it.
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