When my partner and I started talking - as friends, a 1500 mile LDR didn't appeal to us at the time - we gradually moved from "hey, it'll sure be nice to talk to you in person every year or 2" (she was going to relocate to this neck of the woods in about 2 years and we wanted to have lunch/whatever occasionally), to "hey, wouldn't it be nice to live under a half hour from each other?"

Then I flew down there for dinner.

Then it was "We should live pretty close to each other", then "we should buy a duplex and each live in one side of it", to "fuck it were going to live together"

Took about 6 months. I moved down there for 7 months, then 8 months ago we moved up here. Just bought a house in eastern Washington to turn into our home.

We were both absolutely sure of what we each wanted. She just wanted to know someone in the state she was going to move too. I just was looking for someone new to have dinner with once or twice a month.

We're both pretty damned happy we didn't get what we thought we wanted.

The point is, I guess, that the right person - if you get lucky enough to meet them (huge if) - can just demolish what you think you wanted and be so much better for both of you, so while knowing what you want is importaint don't let your list get in the way of being happier than you could ever imagine.

Whatever it is you want, I hope you achieve it and you're happy.

I've thought a lot about my needs and wants at this point in my life. I don't want to marry again either and only if we had a huge house would I want to live with a partner. I'm actually looking for a polyamorous relationship or at least open. One person can't meet all the needs of another. Ideally I'd like a primary partner and a lover, or even a trouple. I admire the lifestyle and believe it can work. All involved need to have a great deal of self awareness.

If I were still looking (which I'm not), you pretty much covered my "wish list".

I truly wish you well in locating your "person". Hope it happens for you sooner than later.

You would be surprised how many people want the same.

Some days I drive home to an empty house and it's such a relief. But on Friday nights, long weekends, and holidays, being alone isn't pleasant at all. Or maybe it's just the idea of being alone that's taunting.

Research tells us that people are happiest, no matter when they are married or single, when their relationships are emotionally satisfying. That looks different for each of us.

So for now, I'm cuddling up with my adorable dog and watching The West Wing with my adult daughter. It's a wonderful kind of happiness.

I wish you luck in finding what you want.

I would love to have a girl more intelligent than I. (Not hard to find)
That's not religious (hard to find)
A deep thinker that loves to have fun and don't waste money. I might be thinking of going poly but I need to understand it more. I probably just need to get laid and chill for awhile. Lol. Who knows.

I want a companion, not my better half. I want someone to do things with, but not be stifled by possessiveness. Someone that I can trust to tell me the truth even when it hurts, and someone that has found that fine line between confidence and narcissism.

I do NOT want to remarry, live with someone, or be bound with constant phone calls/text messages/emails. Just because I don't talk/contact them every day doesn't mean I'm sick, tired of them, or seeing someone else.

Some of us simply don't look forward to the idea of growing old alone - independence is great until you need help and even with a social support network you can't always rely on friends or family... (I'm sorry I can't be there for you I'm having my poodle waxed) ...maybe it's just a ride to the doctor, or fixing the TV remote, or cooking dinner together. I have 4 sisters and 2 are widows and another has a husband with advanced bone cancer - it is obvious that they wish there partners would be around forever - even if that is a fantasy. They actually enjoyed each other's company...? To me happiness is best when it is shared with my best friend and it is harder to do that part time. For me I don't really want much - maybe just a companion and lover ...oh and a maid, cook, nurse, appointment secretary, and personal shopper too? I think Hugh Hefner had it figured out...

I'm happy with that idea. You hit it right on the head.

As I wrote in my profile:

I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking.

Although I'm a great cook, I'm not willing to do all of the meal planning, preparation and cooking. Everyone loves the magic words: "Dinner is served."

Loving relationships work best when we add a certain spirit, an attitude of goodwill. I wouldn't know a grudge if it mugged me. I miss the tender touch, laughter, conversation, intimacy, teamwork and fun of a committed, loving relationship.

This too is my ideal!

It’s all about just finding someone who is down for that . If you have a agreement that you can come to with someone, then , right on !!

I think that was called a f*&$ buddy back in the day. Outdoors, animals, NO holy rollers sounds like utopia.

You seem to have hit the nail on the head.

Anything else you need or want?

Cool

Shucks. You are a woman & I am not gay. Oh well.

I can't bring the idea of an ideal situation into focus. I'm trying to find an acceptable situation - someone to look forward to seeing. Some tangible reason to take care of my appearance. Somebody to text "good night" to.

Something like that.

Looking for? Someone to have an occasional date with, that I would feel comfortable calling at odd hours and just chatting with. I haven't been in a sexual relationship in so long, it would be like starting all over from 17! I would love to take a river cruise on the Rhine or the Danube with a female partner, but there would have to be sharing a bed involved, so I fear that will never happen. I have plenty of female "friends", none with any chance of turning physical. I'm just the guy they call when they have a question or need help with something. My last ex and I are friends, but the biggest reason we split was her lack of interest in sex and nothing has changed there. I have grown comfortable being on my own, I cook well, keep occupied and enjoy being able to do or not do whatever I want with whomever I feel like it. So, I just may be in my ideal situation.

Wait, you're 101?! Shouldn't you have different priorities?

To me, a relationship that is not worth committing to all-in, that required the other person be at arm's length, isn't worth bothering with. I'm not saying I'd be able to commit in that all-in way a fourth time, if that were my situation one day. Probably not. So I don't judge it; I just wouldn't bother.

Your ideal situation sounds like an open relationship or an open FWBs situation.

My ideal would be long term commitment and living with one another away from parents or family members. We would not be married but would be in a committed common-law relationship. No kids wanted by either of us and no kids from previous relationships on his end either.

Do your ‘prospects’ know about this and do they know of each other.

It sounds like a job interview!