I have a cousin whom I love dearly. She is going through a tough time and has asked me to pray for her. I want to help, but I don't believe in prayer. What would your response have been?
Askher what you can do to help? Are you living near her? Is she ill? Figure out what you can do to help her. Financial? Child care? Cleaning? Cooking?
Really nothing I can actually do. She and her wife are trying to get pregnant after losing a baby not long ago.
sorry to hear
Skirt the issue by asking if you can help in any way at the physical level.
I tell people I will keep them in my heart's mind. That has to be as good as prayer, right?
I take it you don't work at a Hospice Center
Yes most time its a plea for help ..Not a reglious one.
How about if I take you to (lunch, shopping, a movie...)
How about if I cook a few things for you?
How about if I run a few errands for you?
Etc.
SO much more helpful than talking to the non-existent!
I have been in this situation before, and I usually just tell the person that I will. If it makes them feel better to think that I am praying for them, then so be it.
Others have given good advice. I'll risk being off base to give a different opinion. I'll assume she doesn't know you are agnostic, because she asked you to pray for her. Furthermore, you aren't ready to tell her because she is having a tough time. I would tell her that I would pray for her, and perhaps say a little (disingenuous) prayer to satisfy my anxiety about lying. That's a placebo to make her feel better.
Then, do the things everyone else said, which might actually help her.
I just say, "You'll be in my thoughts" instead of "I'm praying for you".
The truth is that while there isn't proof that prayer works directly, there IS proof of the placebo effect, and just the comfort of thinking that someone might be trying to do some imaginary thought work could be enough to help her legitimately take a turn for the better, physically, emotionally, and otherwise.
In that spirit, DO offer that comfort, for her sake. What have you got to lose? A single breath, uttering words like "I'll keep you in my thoughts. I hope all this gets better, soon," might just work.