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63 4

Just got asked what atheists do on Easter.

My answer is in the comments. What would you have said?

Nottheonlyone 7 Mar 29
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63 comments

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4

We get an extra hour on Easter Sunday because daylight saving is ending here. Haven't decided yet how to use it. Read the paper? Piano practice? Work in the garden?

20

Whatever the fuck we want.

15

Well, I don't know about all atheists, but after my breakfast baby, I intend to wash in the blood of all the congregants of the local church. It's so refreshing! Then, maybe another baby for lunch. Depends on if I'm still full from breakfast. The rest of the day is a crapshoot.

How about a nap after those babies?

@HippieChick58 I'm keeping my options open. 😉

LMAO!!!

11

Sacrifice virgins, eat babies, coffee with Satan, what else would we do?

Being snarky to a legitimate question on a site that purports to be somewhat intellectual is rude. If you are an atheist, you will give the rest of us a bad name. Kindness is possible even for atheists.

You forgot to add: drink the blood of christians after it's been purified with bat's guano. Read the satanic bible. Laugh at movies about the crucifixion on tv...

Hahaha...

Um, what about taking a dump on the altar in a Catholic Church? Come on man, you're getting weak on me here.

@mhl80 I am a heretic, they would burn me. Any topic is fair game.

@MikeM I am scared of Priests, think about it, if a priest gets out of line, gets caught kiddy fiddling, they de-frock him, sounds like some perverted game to me. I think they have all churches warded against me.

8

I'll probably bake a ham for dinner if I can't find a baby to cook.

I like my baby cooked medium rare with a side of horseradish sauce please.

I have a ham in the freezer that weighs more than a baby. It is an option.

@JK666 but it's not the same is it?

7

Enjoy the holidays! Same as Christians enjoy pre and extra marital sex, killing for fun and hating the neighbors.

7

A few hours ago i learned easter is this sunday. I feel really good about my total lack of awareness and interest.

6

Adult Easter egg hunts for alcohol and weed in the eggs. I'm working again, so I get to torture my co-workers with jesus jokes, because I'll have to endure their, "He has risen" comments.

My kind of Easter, we will be planting!

@fantasticalice Fun.

6

Bite the ears off all the chocolate bunnies.

6

I spend time with my family. If my grandma asks to go to church, okay. She's usually the only one that asks to go, and I prefer her to be at peace.

That's sweet of you. I don't think I'm that sweet.

Then again, I no longer have any grandparents. If I did, I'd have to think it over.

6

You mean that first Sunday after the full moon after the Vernal Equinox?

That sounds really Pagan.

LMAO...

6

Just because we don't have a religion doesn't mean we don't have family. We still get together and have a good time, we just don't do it because of the Magical Sky Person.

Excellent response!

6

One of my favorite easter memories is when I was stationed in Alabama and my friend came to visit. It was Sunday and we were bored so we decided to drive to Tallahassee for the hell of it. Things usually don't open until 1 on Sundays so people can go to church. Fine, but it was after 1 and EVERYTHING was closed. We wondered if the zombie apocalypse had come and we missed it. Turns out it was easter and we had no idea ??
I don't do anything for easter. It's just another day for me. If I was closer to my parents, I'd probably go over for dinner, but we never did any religious stuff.

Remi Level 7 Mar 30, 2018

You should have dipped on in to church and prayed for the zombie apocalypse. It's only a matter of time, you know.

6

My tradirion is to have a few beers the Saturday night before and come up with as many Jesus jokes as possible.

6

The same thing we do on any other Sunday. With a little luck I will sleep in, spend some time planning world domination, and then do whatever I darn well please and/or need to do.

5

Nothing special. Making Sunday dinner - that is special - lol.

5

Eat a lot of ham.

5

Same things religious folks do.....sans religion.

5

I'm having a girls day 🙂

5

Have dinner with friends... Their beliefs do not hinder friendship.

5

We eat ham and egg casserole and get a slight buzz on sweet white German wine before lunch... Just like everyone else.

5

Eat chocolate bunnies. Maybe spend time with family. My best friend calls it “ham day.”

I usually start with the ears.....scrumptious!

5

Look for colored eggs, celebrate bunnies, eat candy.. so much chocolate. Go out, enjoy life, barbeque, have a meal with family, go for a drive, hang out, go to a movie, sex, drinking, smoking, playing video games, board games, do puzzles...ooh and swimming if its warm enough (still snowing off and on here) or playing sports. Or best of all, nap.

4

Its a public holiday I just do a normal day don't mind people eating easter eggs in front of me.

4

I plan to meditate, go on a bike ride. I think that I will get beautiful and take my daughter to Sunday brunch. Ya hoo!!!!!!!!!!

4

Celebrate April Fools Day!

cava Level 7 Mar 30, 2018

A much more fun holiday!

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