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What do you say on facebook to friends or family that have lost a loved one? Most people type prayers or sending prayers. I usually post you and your family are in my thoughts.

ebdb 7 Apr 7

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I'm sorry for your loss.


Sending love and thoughts are with for you.


My condolences as to your loss, nothing about death is fair to anyone, I hope the memories you have of the deceased bring you peace and comfort for the rest of your days.

Totally stealing that one

@MuppetGirl All good. I thought that up shortly after coming across this post, and would have no idea if someone else had ever said anything similar.


Sometimes I ask if they have looked in the last place they saw them. That's what I do when I lose something.

It's never received well, I've found.

Torq Level 5 Apr 7, 2018

That reminds me everyone says they want a fairy tale wedding, but when I show up and curse their firstborn, suddenly I'm the jerk.


I lived in the middle East for a while and I have adopted a version of what they say that I feel conveys sympathy without invoking a deity or referencing an afterlife.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. May peace and grace be upon you and yours now and forever.


I try to remember something about the person who passed away and post that instead of "Prayers"

BD66 Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

My best friend's mother passed less than a month ago. I knew "Mamá Ñata" for over 40 years.

I didn't say "Lidia, I am sorry"....but I wrote "directly to Mamá Ñata" telling her, how important she was for me. My girlfriend understood.


Sorry for your loss


Honestly that they are in my thoughts. If I am closer to them then offer some time, food, possibly a little day to day support while they are adjusting. Usually that first week or so is pretty busy with people in and out and the funeral, wake, whatever else the family might have planned. It's usually the weeks that follow that are the harder to deal with. Checking in with them a few weeks after if you are close enough to them is a good thing to do and letting them spill a bit if they need to.

AmyLF Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

I don't do that on Facebook. Social media isn't the place for everything, imo


I say, "My condolences to you and your family."


I may say something like, " I know this is the hardest thing in the world, but just know that it gets easier with time".


It varies depending on my relationship with the bereaved, but there are several things a non-religious person can say. I'm very sorry is the best, though.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 7, 2018

sorry for your loss


I usually tell them I am sorry for their lost and send my deepest condolences.


I offer them my sincerest condolences.

SamL Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

If they were close enough for me to say something I’ll call. Then if it’s possible I’ll show up and if not I’ll send fruit or a food basket but never flowers ... people grieving forget to eat.... when my dad passed my mom needed the food and was made more upset by flowers. Once the dining table was full of vases and flowers she made me get it all out... FB is not the place. IMHO


Either I am sorry or deepest condolences..


I say 'my deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family'.


Yes, this is a time when letting the grieving person know they are in your thoughts is acceptable. Depending on my relationship with the person suffering the loss, I might offer some tangible help, if there's something they can use, whether it be to take a walk and talk about how they feel, or some help with meals or cleaning, packing up their loved one's belongings, etc.,

Of course, in my line of work (conducting funerals is part of what I do) I make myself avaiaable to conduct the service or offer resources for conducting their own funeral service, memorial or ash scattering.


I say I am sorry it happened and that I'll be remembering them.


I usually share my condolences.


I post this poem by Dylan Thomas:

Never until the mankind making
Bird beast and flower
Fathering and all humbling darkness
Tells with silence the last light breaking
And the still hour
Is come of the sea tumbling in harness

And I must enter again the round
Zion of the water bead
And the synagogue of the ear of corn
Shall I let pray the shadow of a sound
Or sow my salt seed
In the least valley of sackcloth to mourn

The majesty and burning of the child's death.
I shall not murder
The mankind of her going with a grave truth
Nor blaspheme down the stations of the breath
With any further
Elegy of innocence and youth.

Deep with the first dead lies London's daughter,
Robed in the long friends,
The grains beyond age, the dark veins of her mother,
Secret by the unmourning water
Of the riding Thames.
After the first death, there is no other.

The reader can interpret the last line however he/she wishes. To me, it means that once you are dead, you are dead, but to believers, it has a different connotation.


I say my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. If it is a close friend, I would offer my help in any capacity they might need.


I usually say: Sending positive healing energy. I'll be thinking about you and your family. Hugs!


I also tell the person they and their family are in my thoughts, and that it is my hope that their forms will warm their hearts in the midst of their grief. It is my belief that deep grief can be embraced as evidence of great love.

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