27 20

Bloody Norah, wish my Printer-Scanner was working.
Just looked out the window to see some strange bloke drop something into my mail box.
Went out, got it and Guess what, IT IS an appeal from the Local Catholic Church trying to raise money BECAUSE, QUOTE, "The Parish Mercedes sedan is NOW 5 years old and considered as being no longer suitable for the Priests or the visiting Church dignitaries to travel in. Donations of $20.00 and above only accepted thank you."

Triphid 9 Dec 4

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Apparently, a donkey was good enough for JC


I'm helping clean out a house- the owner is an old lady, catholic, with dementia. She is now in a home. She still gets mass amounts of mail asking for funds, especially from the catholic groups. Usually I just recycle them or trash them. Today, however, she got one from her old parish priest wanting cash. I scribbled a note to him that instead of begging, he should do his pastoral duties and visit those who have given a shit load in the past and are now in the hospital which he, according to her son, has never visited.


Give them one of those fake $20 bills with a Bible tract on the back and remind them they should pray for the money.


Why don't you send them a not, put it in the parish letterbox and tell them to stick it where the sun does not shine.

Since their pretty little envelope is decorated with a return address and a picture of the Protector Of Paedophile Employees on it and NO stamp, I intend to send it to them this a.m. with my little note saying " Sorry but all out of I don't give a shit/s so please accept this IOU for 1 Billion Go Fuck Yourselves instead."

@Triphid Language

@Jolanta Want a laugh?
This IS FACT btw.
I always listen to the local news on my alarm clock radio every morning, this morning I woke just in time to hear the following item.
" During the unexpected thunderstorm we had here around midday Saturday, some estimated 13 sheets of copper roofing materials were stolen from the car-port at the rear of the Catholic Manse in Lane Street.
It is believe by the Police that the thieves may have taken advantage of the storm, driven a small truck or utility up the laneway at the rear of the Manse, opened the unlocked gates, loaded the sheeting and then driven away unnoticed. Police are asking for any possible witnesses to come forward with any information they have have."
Well no-one can blame me for it, I was up on my roof in the middle of the storm securing down a couple sheets of corrugated iron that had started to come very loose.
But, it sounds very much like the Ghost of Ernie D., the well known notorious 'borrower of lead sheeting from church roofs' may have risen again and is up to his old tricks once more....LOL.

@Triphid You are so, so naughty.

@Jolanta But, "That's the way I like it....."


AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW......that's such a shame..........................

Yup, my heart bleeds for those little Priests, oops sorry my tit was leaking....LOL

@Triphid Yup, just terrible circumstances for them. Such deprivation.


Oh gee a five year old Mercedes, how can they travel.
Fuck wads are back in the Middle ages.


So, what they're saying a prayer plus $70k buys a Mercedes


I always thought Jesus would want to drive a Porche. So to help them I will send them good thoughts and a prayer, just in case.

And I will send them thoughts and prayers for a Ferrari.

“Oh, Lord, won't you buy me, a Mercedes Benz.
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.”
—Janis Joplin, “Mercedes Benz”


Hmm, I have a 5 yr old Mercedes, nice car, mint condition, will likely still have it 5 yrs from now....what’s their bitch?


In 1966 my dad got a Chevy Biscayne all shiny and brand new the priest at the catholic church also got a brand new Lincoln Continental,🤔 the 10-year-old at the time saw the difference. I assume they already have a Gulfstream right? 🤬

Well the Protector Of Paedophile Employees has his bullet-proof Bubble-mobile and his own army, aka the Swiss Guard but sadly (NOT) our airport is NOT long enough, runway wise to land 747's on.


In the midst of a pandemic, they are wanting money for a new Mercedes??? Talk about gall!

@creative51 Oh, they definitely do (NOT) since you SHOULD see the utter squalor (NOT) that IS the Manse( more like MANSION) that these poor, deprived Priests are forced to live in.
Bloody hell, it takes up 2 average sized blocks of land that 2 3 bedroomed houses could fit on easily, manicured lawns and gardens, is built of brick and stone, it could easily house at a minimum 30+ homeless people in relative luxury at the very least.
How those poor deprived Priest manage to survive in such horrible hardships truly astounds me (NOT).


Will trade 2005 Dodge Caravan. Some rust. Please let me know ASAP.


Well I'll be dipped in shit!


With balls like that, how do they walk around?

When I a child we lived behind a Catholic School with a Church beside it, the Priest was a HUGE bloke, about as round as he was tall, when he walked his gait was kind of like what you'd imagine a duck's would be if it had a dozen bowling balls stuck up its arse, hence we kids all called him 'Father Heavy Nuts.'
And boy did that get him stirred up.


Send them a penny.


Publish their email address, so we can all bombard them with angry emails!

Okay, you asked for it, you've got it,
Go for it.
Btw, I'd love to send it to a few email scammers as well, IF I only knew how.


I would ignore it, and throw it in the trash. 🙂

WHAT, pollute my rubbish bin, how dare you suggest such a terrible thing....LOL.


Jaysus, some people don't have any notion!!! The believers, if they fall into that, their problem, if they want to be stupid, well, it's a free world. I would love to have the guy from that church in front of me and tell him to fuck off. Me, as well as any other people, struggling and he is begging money for a luxury car? WTF???


How about you return the envelope with a 5¢ coin in it?

Bugger the 5 cents, a brass washer would suit them better.
Or, as I just had a better idea, an Elastrator Tool and a lifetimes supply of Elastrator rings as well.
They do wonders when used for docking lambs, especially when turning unwanted male lambs into Wethers.


Make sure to send it back to them without a stamp so they have to pay the postage and more to get it.

Attached to a large rock.


First off. Fuck them and the Mercedes they rode in on.

Second whats your printer doing?

It's totally cactus extinctus fuctus.

@Triphid damn. Like won't even turn on? I work on printers so I'm curious lol

@redhog Had a power surge about 5 weeks or more ago, luckily the computer was being cleaned ( getting rid of accumulated dust and fluff) so it wasn't hooked to power but the printer still was.
It got fried, my fault I didn't put a Surge Protector between it and the wall socket like I've done with everything else.

@Triphid ouch. Luckily there's some pretty decent HP Color MFPs on Amazon for a pretty decent price right now. Do you get surges often? May want to invest in a power filter instead of a surge protector.

@redhog No, not all that often I think.
Hopefully I can save up and get a new one sometime.


The Holy Roman Empire has more money than any other religion on earth. Fuck 'em.


WOW just WOW, in America it's illegal to use a mailbox for anything other than stamped mail. Does Australia have any such prohibition?

We bloody wish. They pay people to walk around and fill them with all sorts of advertising crap. You can put a notice on saying no junk mail and for the most part they'll respect that.

Technically one could get in trouble, but unless the mail was touched, no one does anything.

@Cyklone I got into a wee bit of trouble about 8 years ago when I put up sign that said " Junk Mail Delivers may buried or eaten depending on the appetite of my dog."
Those poor little Snot-suckers complained to the local Council and I was ORDERED to take the sign down.

LOL, is the Catholic Church in for a really nice surprise (????) when their mail arrives next week with their envelope sealed and returned.
Inside it they will find my little note saying, "Sorry, All out I don't give a shit/s," but please accept this IOU for 1 Billion " Go fuck yourselves."

In Australia it is okay to put junk mail in letter boxes and if you have a post box they can pay the workers to put it in them. At your house you can put up a sign saying no junk mail, then they will put pretty much all of the junk mail into your letter box so that you can then bundle it up and send it back to the responsible party (store or charity) in an envelope with no return address and no stamp so to get the envelope they have to pay the postage plus more. Politicians also do drops addressed to you that you can do the same with removing your identifying address. It is a game I played with them when I had roadside mail delivered. I now have a post office box and I simply state I don't want unadressed mail and I don't get it.

@Budgie junk mail has a postage stamp on it in America. I've been told our post office system would really be broke if it was not for junk mail. Mine goes directly from the mailbox to the recycle bin.

@Lorajay same with us, they have huge recycle bins in our PO, filled daily. Think of th3 costs that could be saved, resources, and environment if it stopped


They appear to be wandering from the path so I sent them this

I hear that your parish officials wish to purchase a new car to replace the five year old Mercedes that you already have.

Having such a prestigious car must be quite a burden for the worshippers of a god whose son was humility itself. I hear that instead of riding into Jerusalem in a chariot or on a fine white horse as befits a king, he rode on a humble ass.

So, rather than own the ostentatious bauble of a successful scammer or drug dealer, Why not identify with your flock and purchase a car which would be in keeping with Jesus' choice. I'm sure that the thrifty and practical smallholders in your area would know what to advise.

Keeping you all in my thoughts

WHAT, you want those poor, deprived Priest to be shamed by traveling around on their ass (arse)? LOL

@Triphid No, just a small cramped car with a hard suspension will do nicely. something like a Citroen 2CV. Shame they don't make them any more. Hardly enough room to bugger a choirboy in one of those.


Sounds like a scam or a joke to me. Have you had a chance to investigate further?

I recognised the 'junkmail dropper" he is both an Uncle of my client 'Bel' ( whom I have the honour of both Counselling and assisting of late) and a volunteer Records Keeper at the Sacred Heart Cathedral her.
Given that I meet numerous people in my role as a Child-Youth Counsellor/Psychologist it sometimes takes a bit of time for facial recognition to kick in so to speak.

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