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Is a married human being happier than unmarried one?

delilah 5 Apr 14

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0

Therapists say so yes happuer peiple married. In my marriage..no..lol.

8

Personally, I am happier being married. Of course, some of that happiness is because I was FINALLY 'allowed' to marry the man I love. More to the point, I am content. It's cliche, but I got my 'happily ever after.'

So, you're in an "open marriage"?

@Condor5 I am. ?

@BearsNPenn, well, that sounds enlightened.

@Condor5 It doesn't work for everyone. But he and I have a very clear understanding about what we can and can't do.

5

No. When I was married I was depressed.
Now that I'm not married, I am much happier.

5

i'd say it depends upon the human being in question I live with my best friend but we have separate flats in teh same building, I cook and sometimes clean for him and he looks after out finances and does the thinking and research about what to buy etc. we see each other at least twice a day so we have time alone and time together it works nicely.

I could live with that.

I like that arrangement

5

According to a study by data analyst Mintel, 61 per cent of single women are happy being single, versus 49 per cent of single men.

The survey also found that 75 per cent of single women have not actively looked for a relationship in the last year, compared to 65 per cent of single men.

And the proposed reason for this is that for women, being in a heterosexual relationship is actually a lot of hard work, and generally requires more effort and labour than for men.

“There’s evidence that women spend longer on domestic tasks than men and I think they also do more emotional work - so they still do more housework and cooking and things as well as more emotional labour,” Professor Emily Grundy, of the University of Essex

[independent.co.uk]

4

Living with your best friend, someone who has always got your back has huge benefits, living with your worst enemy on the other hand is sheer hell. I've known people with long and happy marriages (30 years+) and that is hard to beat, but not all marriages are like that and marriage itself is not for everyone.

Kimba Level 7 Apr 14, 2018

Sometimes, people stay together too long. I learned at an early age like the cliche' and song says, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Some stay due to FEAR NOT LOVe. My parents were a prime example. Married 29 years. She told him she leaving, even moved upstairs into the guest room. but he was very high in denial. About a year later, she booked out with the of us children who were under 18. They were a horribly mismatched couple from the start; then thrown in some addictive behavior like alcoholism and codependency, WHAM. Many of their friends and all of the community were stunned. Of course, the ones on the inside did all the suffering. I think SOME might be surprised how much of this still goes on...

I do know of a few couples who seem to be very much in love after years together.

I also agree that marriage is an archaic institution.

If I loved someone deeply and it was important to them, I would first suggest a commitment ceremony, providing the basis was romance and NOT religion, YIKES.

If there were some kind of legal/financial benefit, I might go long...

I have done ALL kinds of relationships including an open marriage and long-term living together. One worked out okay yet still could be hard once in a while; it simply is not simple~
( I am a two-time tobacco widow. god damn cigarettes)!.

I have not done the polygamy in a formal sense. This would take extraordinary individuals in my view... I MIGHT try it, am not sure. I am not seeking same.

When I really look back, I was happiest being in a loving mutually, EMOTIONALLY supportive, relationship. But I would not mind TWO residents, for some get away alone or downtime or two structures on ONE piece of property, that might be ideally romantic. =;?)

@LetzGetReal I tend to use the term married fairly loosely in relation to this question as basically long-term monogamous (or not by mutual consent) relationship between adults usually involving cohabiting. My godparents ( who as far as I know are atheists the whole christening thing was to shut my mother up) lived together 25+ years before they actually married (not a church do) after they'd been in a car accident (realized it made the legal stuff simpler), they were still together in there 90s, three bedrooms: his, hers and theirs.

@Kimba As long as people are kind to one another and genuine in their conduct, I totally agree-- plus, it is really none of my business what goes on behind closed doors UNLESS I HEAR someone being abused. Living the life I have lived, I WILL call the authorities.

4

I was happy in and I'm happy out. It"s all attitude.

BillF Level 7 Apr 14, 2018
4

I agree with what others have said: it depends on the marriage. I think if you can manage to get along, enjoy each others company, and live life in the same way (shared likes, hobbies, daily timetable, etc) then you have a shot at being happy. But if, over time, you grow apart and no longer enjoy similar things or find yourselves living different lifestyles or constantly arguing, you may become adversaries, and then it's time to move on.

4

We are responsible for our own happiness. We can allow others to add to it or take away from it. It's our choice.

Well said

4

Leave the word married out and use having a bond with someone would be more appropiate I should think

Marriage is religous invention during the dark ages so that men could control the inheritance of women. There is not basis for tieing 2 humans together by means of a piece of paper.

3

I'm probably in the super minority, and don't wanna be 'that guy', but I don't really don't believe in marriage. I see it as an ancient way to denote property. Not that I'm against committed relationships.

3

It depends entirely on the person and the situation. I was very happy in my marriage for many years, and very upset and unhappy for quite a while after it ended. I'm the type of person that needs others in my life. But I am learning to be happy alone, and it is making me "grow up", so maybe someday I'll see it as a good thing.

3

Overall I'm in a much better place being single. Stress levels are lower. Finances are better. Freedom to come and go as I please is liberating.
There are times it would be nice to have someone around but it is not worth the hassles, BS, and sacrifices to be married.

3

I'm not married and I'm happy.

2

It depends on the circumstances. Take my second marriage. It was the happiest 5 years of my life. Unfortunately, we were married for 20.

2

Brian Cox: Eric, are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Eric Idle: I'm married.

2

Probably depends on the state of their marriage.

2

I've been married twice, Been happy and not happy in both of them. they were both very hard to get over. I'm a lot more happier now. For myself being single works better for me. I really think that being happy is how you are with yourself. I also get lonely at times ,but with family and friends that helps a lot.

2

I know I am, and try to make sure my wife is also. I have read men do much better in a marriage than women and live longer.

2

That probably depends on what poll or study you read. There were times, probably most of the time, when I was happy while married. But, being unattached also has it's benefits. I'm not sure marriage is even relevant anymore, except for certain tax or insurance benefits. It's an archaic institution, otherwise, put in place to control women.

But, as far as the happiness thing, that at least in my personal experience, ebbs and flows like the tide, whether tethered by matrimony, or not. The difference is having someone to "share" those times with.

2

I think being happy is something that you allow yourself to be.
People in good marriages are probably happier than most single people and are probably way happier than people in bad marriages.
As for the single people they'll have to learn to be happy with themselves first.
Marriage isn't a pass to happiness.
Also human beings aren't designed to be ridiculously happy all the time.

You have to love YOURSELF first, this is MORE than a cliche'

2

Yes. No. That's the definative answer

2

Though I need to be back with my ex like I need a hole in the head, nevertheless I miss the anchor that being married provides.

godef Level 7 Apr 14, 2018

Anchor, interesting choice of words.. Hmm...

@LetzGetReal Yeah, not really what I meant.

2

We should all just live with whomever we want and go seek mate's when it suits us. lol

2

Depends on the people.

I think we're taught from early childhood that we can't be happy if we're single and/or childfree. For myself, the so-called American dream of a spouse, 2.5 children and a house with a white picket fence is a nightmare I would do pretty much anything to avoid.

2

Depends on the marriage.

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